How to transition toddler into cot?

[Jess]

In our old house we didn't have room to put up the cot (we could have done it in the lounge, I guess, but knew we were moving soon so didn't). So, since B grew out of her bassinet at six months, she's been having all her naps in her Ergo or stroller. Even when she goes to daycare they can't get her to sleep in a cot, so they use the stroller too. At night she's in our bed.
Now we are finally in the new house, we have put up the cot (in our room, right next to our bed), and tried putting her in it when she's sleepy - but she won't sleep in it! She won't even lie down. She just stands at the edge and looks confused, and cries if I leave her in there - even if I'm right next to the cot. She will sit and play with her books or cuddle a toy, but that's as close to sleep as it gets. And we can't put her in asleep, as she wakes up.
So, lovely BB members, here's what I want to know:
- is it just that she's not ready to sleep independently? How do I tell when she is ready?
- if she's just not used to going to sleep this way, how can I gently get her used to it? Should we work on day naps first, or night? (She still feeds overnight a couple of times, but if we could just get her to sleep in her cot for the first long stretch, she could come back for the rest of the night when she wakes for a feed.)
I'm ok with the situation at present, but she's getting heavy! And we would like our bed back so that we can TTC #2 before she's 5, IYKWIM...

[dusty]

Bumping this for you. I hope you get some responses

[onthefly]

Do you have the side down so she's practically right next to you anyway? That's one way to transition from a shared bed to the cot.
Do you lie down with her when you put her in?

Wow at carrying her to sleep still Which would be easier for sleeps - day or night? I'd start with whichever is going to work better (maybe night if she's used to being held during the day). Lie down with her like normal, and then slide her across once she's asleep. you can go cuddle, pat, pick her up if she wakes and becomes distressed. It'll take a bit of time, but after a few nights it should get easier. Then you can try moving her into the cot before she's actually asleep, maybe just drozy, but with you nearby still. And gradually as she gets used to each step, you can take it a bit further.

If you try something like this - you make up the steps as they suit you, just go for gradual changes - then you'll see soon enough whether she's ready to make the change or not.

It's also possible that she might need a complete break from you to sleep alone - ie, another room. That's just something to consider if you want to try it also.

If it really doesn't work, you could always wait a bit and skip the cot altogether and move her to a big girl bed in her own room.

good luck

[Nelle]

I would say to start with day sleeps...perhaps you can stay in the room with her, grab a drink and good book or game to keep you amused, sit right next to her cot if you have to? And I guess persist with starting her off in the cot and hoping she stays there longer and longer...

Do you think she'd go for a single bed? Mattress on the floor or something? Maybe it's the bars she doesn't like? At least you could start off lying with her in a single bed. xo