I like Elizabeth Pantley's style, I recommend reading it, I certainly got quite a lot out of it. She also has a no-cry Discipline book that I thought was good too, has given me some useful ideas.
I'm working my way thru it at the moment, and it's pretty helpful so far. I also like her style, it's not judgemental and takes into consideration gentler parenting techniques such as co-sleeping and feeding to sleep and suggests ways to deal with these if they're causing disruptions to your life.
I loved it, and found it really useful for my DS, who was a feed to sleep baby, who could not settle without the boob. I used the ideas in it and they really worked for me. It was a hard slog, but well worth it in the end. DS is happier now, and we dont fight sleep any more. I liked her philosophy that if your new methods are not working, go back a step or two until you get comfortable with that and then move forward again.
i cant remember the technique now but the one where you take the baby off your boob just as they are quietening down helped us ALOT!! we made list of goals aand ways to reach the goals and it took us about a year to get her off the boob and sleeping by herself. (didnt follow the rules consistently) so thats probably why it took so long. but it helped us in the long run and gave me a sense of order and plan. so it was pretty helpful.
thanks so much for that everyone. what do i want to get out of it? hmmm...DD has a routine of going to sleep around 7pm every night. but we don't really have a bedtime routine IYKWIM. i have tried to take her into her room though around 7pm after bottle (only has the one bottle of cow's milk per day now) but i read to her and settle her and she'll think it is play time, so at the moment, she'll fall asleep on me on the lounge and i will pop her into her toddler bed. she may wake around 9.00pm, i will just go into her room and settle her, she just turns over and goes to sleep and will wake around midnight but not re-settle well. i really would just like to read about the methods she uses that is all.
online it is $29.95. is anyone willing to sell it to me on here? second hand? just if you don't use it anymore?
ok so here is the thing, local library doesn't stock it. there is one on ebay i am watching at the moment anyway (used). but tonight, i took DD into her room when she looked tired, read her 3 books and put her in her toddler bed. she stuffed around for about 15 minutes, kicking, wanting to play etc. so i turned the light off and stroked her hair. after 5 minutes, she turned over and fell asleep!
we used to just cuddle and rock on the lounge until she was asleep and then i would put her down!
can anyone share their routine at bedtime with me?
What really impressed me about it is that she doesn't come out with the "OK, so you want your baby to sleep? This is what you have to do" approach.
The book is basically just heaps and heaps of gentle ideas and you pick and choose what you think will work for your baby and your family. Then she shows you how to formulate a plan to put it all together.
One thing I will say is that it's not a quick fix and mums who are really at the end of their tether (not saying you are, just in general) might be disappointed because most of her ideas take a week or two to pay off. But gentle parenting methods are never of the quick fix variety anyway
I found it to be a really good book. It hasn't worked to get ds sleeping through the night- my fault, it's easier to just him in bed with us than try and pat him off to sleep at 2am but it improved our day sleeps dramatically.
Just be warned QB it looks a little overwhelming at first but keeping a sleep diary was really not neccessary
Hun, good one on tonights bedtime routine!!!! Lets hope it is the start of things to come....
Now, my DS is a lot younger than your DD, but for I will let you know our routine...
We go into his room, and have a story or two, I try to make the first one fun, cause it keeps his attention. Then I pop his sleeping bag on, dim the lights, and give him a bottle. And them pop him in his cot, say goodnight and leave. More often than not he will crawl round the cot and babble to himself happily. I will go back in after 5 minutes. Sometimes he is asleep, if he is not, I gently place him back in his sleeping position, and remind him that it is nighty nighty time, and he needs to go to sleep. I might need to do that a couple of times, and sometimes stroke his head if he is particularly worked up, but he is generally (*touch wood*) asleep within half an hour. And with no tears, and calm. He then wakes at 11pm for a dreamfeed bottle and goes straight back to sleep from there. He will wake in the night, but unless he is crying, I can leave him alone to resettle. I totally expect this to change when he is in a toddler bad, and mobile, but this is where we are at now...
Prior to this, we had tears and screaming for hours at bed time. And I used breastfeeding to get him to sleep. I knew this was not sustainable, so used some of the methods from the book to get us to where we are now. It was hard, and some work, but my nights are so much easier now. I didnt keep a sleep diary, and didn't follow the book to the letter, but there was enough guidance in there to get me going, and to tailor it to suit me and DS.
Hi queenbee, my DD is not much older than yours about 6 weeks or so. This is her bedtime routine, same for night as it is fer her day sleep.
She her dinner about 5-5.30, then play time with her big brother til about 6.45ish, then bath time again with her big brother, then we come downstairs and I give her sleepy time dummy, I get her bottle, we go back upstairs and she gets her bed time buddy (a furry bear) and she drinks her bottle snuggled up to me with the lights out on her rocking chair, I quietly sing her bed time song, and pop her into her cot awake but very snoozy, she rolls over and goes to sleep. Sometimes she fights it but I just pick her up rock her a bit and she calms down. She doesn't sleep through the night though and she does get 1 bottle overnight. Sometimes I'm up once sometimes 3 or 4 times. Most times (other than her bottle and nappy change) it's just a dummy replacement (damn thing!) so only takes a minute. Yes I'm pretty shattered from being up so many times at night but I can't let her cry as she wakes my DS and then its really on and they both scream!
I think the key is consistency and also telling her what is coming up next, like let her know it's play time and then tell her "in a few minutes we're going to have your bath", then tell her "it's time for your bedtime milk", and then when she's having her milk tell her "when you have drunk all your milk Mummy's going to read you some stories/sing some songs" and then just before the last song/book tell her "it's time for sleep". If all goes according to plan she will soon learn to associate the familiar routine and the same phrases with going to sleep. It worked for both mine and I don't usually have any trouble getting them to sleep, the problem lies with them staying asleep!
didn't sleep through for a couple of nights and then last night, she did. i have been putting her in her bed though when it is sleep time (for day sleeps as well) and walking out briefly. she will cry but i go in and comfort her. i can repeat this sometimes about 4 times but she goes to sleep eventually. i never let her scream though and be very upset. she has to be sleeping much better before we even think of #2!
thanks everyone for your support with this. might still grab a copy of NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION
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so at the moment, she'll fall asleep on me on the lounge and i will pop her into her toddler bed. she may wake around 9.00pm, i will just go into her room and settle her, she just turns over and goes to sleep and will wake around midnight but not re-settle well. i really would just like to read about the methods she uses that is all.
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