Help? I'm at my wits end with my 2yr old.

[misty]

He won't sleep EVER, day or night. It is a battle to get him to stay in bed. It is a battle to get him to sleep. And then when he does he will wake up screaming and wakes the whole house up and refuses to go back to sleep, wants attention off one of us (usually Daddy) but will crack it for any reason whatsoever or no reason at all (generally doesn't really seem to know what he wants). He will do this several times a night for hours at a time. After he wakes up he is horrible to be around and extremely wingy and clingy often for hours afterwards. And because he is not getting much sleep and it is such poor quality he is often not a very happy little boy during the daytime.

{He is NOT having sleep terrors, so please don't suggest that might be the reason - that's all anyone seems to be able to suggest and doesn't help us at all.} He has always been a bad sleeper, but it is getting to the point where I just cannot cope anymore. He has gotten worse in part because he has repeatedly been sick with ear infections, which obviously interfer with any routine. And in part because my DH is so freaking inconsistant - he will inevitably end up laying on the couch sleeping while DS plays in the loungroom (because it is easier for him, but then he doesn't have to stay home with the overtired 2yr old and 2 other children): until I wake up and realise and go and kick them both back in bed.

Because of DS NOONE is getting any sleep. He wakes the baby and his sister, he keeps me and DH awake. Last night he woke up at 11.30pm (after finally getting him to sleep at 9pm) and then spent the next 4.5hrs screaming the house down, climbing out of bed, banging on walls. DH and I both had to get up at 6am (he had to go off for army stuff and I had to get up for the baby). It is the same thing every night! I don't know what to do!!!

Last night I was just so tempted to drive him up to the hospital and dump him there so someone else could look after him for a change. He was up agaiin this morning at 7am. And now he is sooky and causing fights and hurting his sister. He won't stay in bed unless I physically hold him down - I cann't do that for 4hrs while he wears himself out.

I have tried EVERYTHING! I am tired and upset, and cann't think straight and am starting to really resent my child because of it. I am shortchanging my other two children because of it and I am fighting with DH about it because I KNOW the way he deals with it (by not dealing with it) is wrong and is just making things worse for ME! BUT I don't know what will work to fix this BECAUSE NOTHING DOES!!!!

So if anyone has any suggestions, please I am all ears... although I am not sure if there is anything I haven't tried. I have considered sleep school, but it really isn't possible logistically or financially.

I am just so tired.

[Cocolove]

Where abouts are you located?
Have you tried sleep school? I went there when DS was 3 months old, did nothing for us but I seen 3 year old walk in there with the same problem as you and walk out 3 days later having a 3 hour day sleep then a 12 hour overnight sleep it was amazing.

[thepixie]

Have you taken him to the doctor? It really doesn't sound normal babe, maybe he is still in pain or has something following on from the ear infections? I would take him to a nice GP and have him fully checked out. And if the GP can't find what's wrong, insist on a referral to a paed. Lots of and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's for you!

[onthefly]

Oh gosh
I second the pead suggestion. I think it would be a good idea to get him thoroughly checked out, particularly if you've already identified one health problem (ears).
Another thought is food - sensitivities or something? You could talk to a pead about doing some elimination diets to see if anything in his diet is affecting him.
Maybe time to call in some expert advice - and do you have anyone to help you out during the day so you can get a bit of a break?
All the best

[Visitor8]

I would be getting him thoroughly checked out too.

Big hugs to you, I can't even imagine how you are feeling, especially with a baby to look after

Can you move him back into a cot? I tried Ash in the bed the other day and he wouldn't stay in it either. He normally goes straight to sleep at nap/bed time but he was up for 2 hours playing! I gave up on the bed idea and he can stay in the cot!

I think a main problem, which I am taking from your post, IS the inconsistency. Kids know that if they can push enough and get what they want that they will. He needs to NOT be allowed up to play. Otherwise it's kinda pointless sending him to bed in the first place, since he knows if he is difficult enough that he will be allowed to play.

Hope you get something sorted soon and get some rest!

[jackrose]

The first thing that jumped into my head (after sleep school, but then you have said that sleep school isn't an option so I'll leave that out ) is food intolerances.

I have my hands on a fantastic DVD called "Fed up" by Sue Dengate and it spells out the problems some kids have with food additives and general food intolerances really well. I think she also has a website so you could look it up. I got the DVD from my local kindergarten of all places so you could try the library or your local council for references.

As with all the other suggestions you have and will get, it might be, it might not be, but I thought I would put it out there incase...

Good luck, it sounds exhausting and insanely frustrating. Right at the time when you should be able to enjoy your little boy and family :hug":

ETA: I just had a quick scan through the website so that I was sure I wasn't giving you a bum steer and found a fact sheet that details the symptom of sleep problems

The effects

• insomnia
• difficulty falling asleep
• frequent night waking
• waking up too early
• restless legs
• ‘weird’ or ‘vivid’ dreams
• nightmares
• night terrors
• sleep talking, sleep walking
• sleep apnoea

Which food chemicals?

Reactions to food chemicals are a pharmacological - or food intolerance - reaction, not an allergic reaction to the proteins in foods.

The foods and food chemicals that can be associated with sleep disturbance include:

· Artificial colours, natural colour annatto, preservatives, synthetic antioxidants, flavour enhancers and flavours (more details below)
· Naturally occurring chemicals called salicylates, amines and glutamates
· Dairy foods are less likely to be a problem than additives and salicylates although dairy foods as well as the food chemicals above may be strongly implicated with stuffy/runny nose, snoring and sleep apnoea
· Wheat or gluten are less commonly a problem. However, wholegrain wheat in products such as wholemeal bread and cereals such as Weetbix are likely to be more of a problem than refined wheat products
· Sleep disturbance can also be the unintended side effects of the additives or active ingredients in medications, dental products and supplements.
· Some people are affected by VOCs – Volatile Organic Compounds – such as perfumes, fragranced toiletries e.g. hairspray and airfreshener, pesticides, household cleaners, renovation chemicals and especially chemicals such as flame retardants in new mattresses and pillows