Okay so DS is now 7.5months old and he is a mummy's boy, when he is grumpy and tired he wants his mum and no one else. Previously as long as some one was cuddling him before bed he would go in to his cot and self settle quite qell, occasionally i still had to rock him or pat him off to sleep but mostly he would happily self settle. BUT now he only want me and SCREAMS if its not me, he slept over at my mums on Sat nite and after trying everything they had to let him cry to sleep because he didn't want to be held, (not something i would have done but i wasn't there and it was their last resort) On Sunday night he was quite unsettled i had been up 3 or 4 times and when he woke at 4.30am i asked DH to get up, he tried to settle him with no luck and then came in to bed and said thats it! he can cry for a bit its just temper. not wanting to undermine DH i went along but told him the had to get up every 10mins and resettle him so he knew he wasn't alone etc. after 30min DH gave up and brought him into our bed but it took me until about 6am to get him settled enough to go to sleep i had BF him to settle and he hasnt has a night feed for some weeks now.
LAst night DH said to try letting him cry when we put him to bed as he started crying again but i cant bear listening to him cry i get so upset! I am returning to wok parttime at the end of January and really want his sleep routine to settle before then, please give me some suggestions, other than walking the house or rockiing him in my arms until he is asleep.
Are you able to (or be ok with) having him in your room with you and DH? i.e a porta cot or osmething?
As the PP said, he is at the stage where he has realised you and him are SEPERATE being's and that he is able to be seperated from you, and he is just reacting..... you are right in not being able to listen to him cry, you know your son better than anyone else, including DH sadly... just how it is. Follow your insticnts, give him what he needs right now.... atm it may be to just know you and daddy are close.
Although not ideal, both our kids sleep in our room, in their own beds, but in our room. I know its just a stage, and they will grow through it..... so we are just flowing with it.
I am sorry if it isnt much help, but best i can offer as i have very clingy sleepers too and this is the best way we got to a middle ground with the kids where they would sleep, meaning we got sleep...
It's possible its the 'clingy' stage... usually hits between 6-9 months
Sucks, but I have no advice for you, I just let them sleep with me when they wanted
I guess my concern is not so much when i'm around but more when im not, there is no way i will cope leaving him if I know he's going to cry and get so upset? Some people have told me to leave him more often leading up to when i return to to work but i want to treasure that time! oh its all so hard!
I believe it needs to be done in stages if you want DH to do more of the daily task's to increase their bond. Start with the bathing before bed, and a book/bottle.... maybe both of you do bed for a bit, and you go out for a minute, come in... go out.. come in... do it in stages??!! while DH is in with him the whole time.. make sense???
He isnt going to just instantly take to DH doing something if you have been the only one to do it...
But its worth a go if its what you want. One thing you will learn is all you can do is TRY TRY TRY, try anything you think would work for you, give it a go and then see if it works for him.
Thanks Missymoomoo, I usually bath him straight after his tea which is usually before DH gets home and he is still BF but i might try the cuddle and book with Dad and us both putting him to bed.
Thanks everyone else as well
All advice is welcomed, i feel so silly cos I am a Childcare worker and know about the clingy stage and that it is developmentally normal but its hard when its your own bub!
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