Need help with 13 m.o's day naps

[Calluna]

DS is 13months old and has always breastfed to sleep and I've always had to hold him while he sleeps otherwise he wakes after the first sleep cycle and wont re-settle.

In the last few days I've been trying to get him out of being held while he sleeps, as I never get anything done, or can do anything ie have a friend over, or a break from him. I think it is going well WRT sleeping for a decent amount of time, not as long as if I'm holding him but enough that he's not too grumpy.

The problem is that now that he's being put into bed he's not feeding to sleep (why? Is he afraid of me putting him down so fights sleep?).
He has his feed then wakes right up again and takes up to an hour to get to sleep (by rocking, walking, patting and singing simultaneously ) throw in a bit of screaming and back arching it makes for a very frustrating time for both of us.

I also have a bad back and it is killing me after 10mins let alone an hour! He wont let me rock him sitting down. It has to be standing up.

What can I do?
Idealy I'd like him to self settle but have no idea how to get him to do this. If I put him in his cot anything less than fast asleep he wakes up and wont re-settle. If I put him in awake and leave he screams if I stay he wants to talk to me and play.

I'm not interested in CC. It breaks my heart to hear him cry and the longer I leave him the more he screams. I also dont want him developing a fear of his cot.

I hope this makes sense.
TIA.

[Calluna]

[MamaPan]

hi heva
have you tried putting him in the cot and sitting next to him, singing and patting? that works here...
or else if you are happy for him to sleep in your bed you could lie with him, feed him lying down and cuddle him til he falls asleep?
hope something works soon.. xxx

[ss_storm]

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? I haven't read it but it is supposed to be really good...maybe someone else can shed some light on what it's all about? Do you have a sling you can put him in to get him to sleep? Will save your arms a bit and decrease the stress on your back (because his weight will be distributed fairly evenly over your body). Hope he gets better for you soon...DD has wanted to be rocked to sleep a lot lately for her day sleeps so I can imagine how much of a PITA it is everyday!
Would he sleep in his pram?

(ETA: yes I had to keep my tradition going of replying to all your threads )

[Calluna]

Mamapan- I've tried patting him but he refuses to lie down. He either cries at me or wants to play. Even when he's almost asleep he sits up as soon as I put him in the cot.
I used to put feed him lying down but that was hurting my back too and these days he just rolls away anyway.

Ss- he refuses to lie in the sling he'll only go in it sitting up. He will fall asleep sitting up but only when he's exhausted and we've been walking around for a few hours. Wont sleep in his pram either.
I love that you reply to all my threads. haven't read the no cry sleep solution. Will see if I can find a copy at the library (have to pay off that $10 in fees I guess damn library and thier "rules").

I'm out of ideas. I've tried all the usual suggestions and nothings working

[sloane]

how's it going now chicken? was it a phase or are you still battling through?

my DS stopped feeding to sleep a couple of months ago - well, he stopped always feeding to sleep so i decided to gently break the habit completely because i'd rather keep things consistent for him & it was making all sleeps a bit of a nightmare. i pretty much followed the pantley pull-off method (pinky mckay also has a similar method). DS sleeps on a mattress on the floor of his room & i've found lying next to him & patting & cuddling (or sometimes just being there) gets him off to sleep. i've never had any luck trying to do this in his cot, but having the mattress on the floor works a treat. now he naps far more consistently.