Co-sleep - do you still do it?

[~Belinda~]

My DD had been co-sleeping with us and then I put her into a new sleep routine and she was doing well for about 10 days (sleeping in her cot for AM, PM and NIGHT sleeps).

Then she got sick and it all went out the window. Not sure whether to implement it again. I used to let her cry for 1 minute, go in, pat bum, walk out, she'll cry again, etc etc. It seemed more gentle than waiting 3, 5, 7 and 10 mins, unsure if I could do that, can't handle her crying her lungs out. Since she got sick, she is sleeping on me through the day, whilst I curl up on the lounge. And night times, well, she'll wake a bit and won't settle easily.

She is better now and I love her co-sleeping with us and if it works and we all get sleep then so be it for now! We're even thinking this might be developmental.

Just wondering who still co-sleeps with their Bub and how old are they?

What works for you?

Thanks

[SJmumof2]

Hi,
My baby is 19 months now and we still co-sleep. I have been sleeping with him ever since he was born. I also sleep with my older son hes almost 4.
We all sleep well and I have never had any problems with them being in my bed. We all get a good nights sleep.
As new borns they slept longer then most of my friends babies and I put it down to them being close to me, they felt safe.
From an early age they were sleeping from around 6.30-7pm until around 7-7.30am. Its nice to all wake up together.
I wouldnt have it any other way.
If you like bubs in your bed then i suggest you keep her in there, Im sure she wouldnt want it any other way!

[Epacris]

My DS is 20 months and we still co-sleep for part of the night, but it's not our choice at all, it's DS's choice. DH and I don't like him in the bed with us and we don't get a good night's sleep with him in there.

He goes to sleep in his own bed beautifully but only stays in there until about midnight, then he comes into bed with us. DH and I know what we have to do to gently (but firmly) get him to sleep in his bed all night, what we're doing at the moment is just the best option we've got for the situation that we're in right now (we're in the middle of a major renovation and our house is freezing and we just don't have any extra energy to put in the effort that would be required to get him to sleep all night in his own bed). When the house is settled and the weather has warmed up we'll be encouraging him stay in his own bed all night.

There are so many different variations on the co-sleeping theme. Even though co-sleeping is not our choice we have totally accepted that this is how we function as a family at the moment and we make the best of it. Yes, it is lovely to all wake up together. The smiles and coos you get when they realise it's a new day (and Mummy's on one side and Daddy's on the other, the two most important people in the whole world are right there to share it with him) are wonderfully precious (but so is a good night's sleep!).

[Lulu]

Yep! Mine are 2 and 4.

Usually DD2 will wake about 3-5am and she comes in with me. DS might wander in if he is cold and snuggle in too, not always but moreso in winter.

[~Kim~]

yep at 2 and a bit....depends on the night. She usually sleeps in her own bed but sometimes needs to sleep with me - no biggie.

[Kitt3n]

DD is 7 and she still sneaks in......

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

My daughter is 10 1/2 months and I still co-sleep with her. I think its the most natural thing and plan to let her stay as long as she likes. I can totally understand why parents have their babies and children in their bed for a certain time then move then on but i'm going to let her leave when she's ready. To me it seems unfair to have DD in my bed them just kick her out iykwim?

[Haydies]

DD is just over 9 months and has co-slept with my from day 1. I have the queen size mattress on the floor, she gets put down there for day sleeps and then again at night. Then when I'm ready for bed, I just slide on in.

Part of me would like her to sleep in her cot, but during the day there's no difference where she sleeps, and I always remembered preferring mum's bed to my own when I was little. There's just something about 'mums bed'.

[sunshine_sieben]

DD co-slept full time with us until she was 6 months. Then she crawled out of bed :-( I bought a cot and worked on getting her to sleep in her cot for her day sleeps and the first part of the night when we were still up. We did that until she was just over 12 months. She would go to sleep with me on the bed every time, then I would transfer her to the cot. Whe she woke and we weren't ready for bed yet, I would rock her back to sleep. If we were ready for bed or in bed already, I would just bring her into our bed where she would sleep until 8am or so.

At around 9 months she started a bad habit of waking very frequently and wanting a BF. Some nights every 45 minutes. That was really getting to me. I think it was partly to do with DH being a tosser ;-) (not in the bad sense, but he tosses and turns all night) and a snorer. I think he woke her up a lot.
At just over 12 months I decided to try and put a stop to the frequent feeds. I gave DH the job to resettle her at any time that I didn't want to feed her (I still allowed for one middle of the night feed and one early morning feed). This worked really well and after 2 or 3 days we were in a much better routine of her waking 1 or 2 times a night. The second time being at 5 am or even later. This is when I bring her into my bed and we spend the morning sleeping together. Some nights, she still wakes up every 2 hours. But most nights she sleeps pretty well.

I love the early morning co-sleeping and wouldn't have a problem if that continued for many more years. I actually remember vividly doing that when I was little. Probably until I was 7 or 8. And I have the fondest memories of those hours spent cuddling with my parents.

Saša

[Bathsheba]

We've partially co-slept with all our children from when they were newborns and we are still co-sleeping with our youngest (2yo).

With our newborns we've had them in cradles right beside my side of the bed but if they wouldn't settle I'd lift them in with me for a while until they were in deep sleep them pop them back in the crib.

As they get older they start off the night in their own beds and are brought in when and if they wake. This process has varied with each child depending on their needs. Our middle child decided he liked his own bed quite early. Our youngest doesn't mind his own bed but in winter he gets too cold so needs my warmth (we don't have heaters on overnight).

ETA: we used to do the 'pat pat pat' thing while they are in their cots but by the time we had our third I just couldn't be bothered... so we've ditched that idea in preference to instant peace and rest by co-sleeping in bed.

All my kids are good sleepers. None of them have fears like the dark. We're going to buy a king sized bed eventually but the queen has been adequate.

[luscious Laura]

Then she got sick and it all went out the window. Not sure whether to implement it again. I used to let her cry for 1 minute, go in, pat bum, walk out, she'll cry again, etc etc. It seemed more gentle than waiting 3, 5, 7 and 10 mins, unsure if I could do that, can't handle her crying her lungs out. Since she got sick, she is sleeping on me through the day, whilst I curl up on the lounge. And night times, well, she'll wake a bit and won't settle easily.

She is better now and I love her co-sleeping with us and if it works and we all get sleep then so be it for now! We're even thinking this might be developmental.

Just wondering who still co-sleeps with their Bub and how old are they?

What works for you?

Thanks

I just wanted to post a bit OT but about something you mentioned in your OP.

If you are able to co-cleep (ie, not on medications, or a smoker etc etc the usual stuff) then I think It's really important to co-cleep especially if your babe is unwell.

"This sleeping arrangement permits mothers (and fathers) to respond quickly to the infant if it cries, chokes, or needs its nasal passages cleared, its body cooled, warmed, caressed, rocked or held. This arrangement thus helps to regulate the infant's breathing, sleep state, arousal patterns, heart rates and body temperature. The mother's proximity also stimulates the infant to feed more frequently, thus receiving more antibodies to fight disease. The increased nipple contact also causes changes in the mother's hormone levels that help to prevent a new pregnancy before the infant is ready to be weaned. In this way, the infant regulates its mother's biology, too; increased breast-feeding blocks ovulation, which helps to ensure that pregnancies will not ordinarily occur until the mother's body is able to restore the fat and iron reserves needed for optimal maternal health." from Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them
by James J. McKenna, Ph.D.

Also, Isn't 7 months like really young to be CC'ing?!? (though in my opinion CC'ing is never a good idea)

[mrsmac]

DS is 2 and usually spends part of the night in our bed. He was sleeping through in his cot but we moved house and he was very unsettled so he started coming in with us. Partly it annoys me but part of me loves it because he is my last baby and I don't want to waste a moment.
I feel sad that with my 1st child it was like the ultimate sin to let them sleep with you and even when my XH left me I didn't let her sleep with me (she was 2)

[Jennifer13]

Our almost 2 and a half yr old still comes into our bed every night (usually around 4-5am, but occasionally from midnight onwards). We love waking up with her and she's a great still little sleeper. It's still a bit cramped! Funnily enough we didn't really co-sleep with her all the time when she was a baby, she was perfectly happy in her cot unless she was sick.

[Hoody]

I'm the same at Jen13. Havent done it from birth as DD1 was so happy in her cot etc but now she is in a big bed its not uncommon for her to come in in the wee hrs. Generally about 3am. I dont mind as we all sleep well and its lovely to wake up to her smiling face. I might need a bigger bed though if and when DD2 decides to join us.

[Janie]

We didn't do it from birth either, probably started around 7 months.

[~Belinda~]

I just wanted to post a bit OT but about something you mentioned in your OP.

If you are able to co-cleep (ie, not on medications, or a smoker etc etc the usual stuff) then I think It's really important to co-cleep especially if your babe is unwell.

"This sleeping arrangement permits mothers (and fathers) to respond quickly to the infant if it cries, chokes, or needs its nasal passages cleared, its body cooled, warmed, caressed, rocked or held. This arrangement thus helps to regulate the infant's breathing, sleep state, arousal patterns, heart rates and body temperature. The mother's proximity also stimulates the infant to feed more frequently, thus receiving more antibodies to fight disease. The increased nipple contact also causes changes in the mother's hormone levels that help to prevent a new pregnancy before the infant is ready to be weaned. In this way, the infant regulates its mother's biology, too; increased breast-feeding blocks ovulation, which helps to ensure that pregnancies will not ordinarily occur until the mother's body is able to restore the fat and iron reserves needed for optimal maternal health." from Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them
by James J. McKenna, Ph.D.

Also, Isn't 7 months like really young to be CC'ing?!? (though in my opinion CC'ing is never a good idea)

Great post! Yes I won't be doing cc'ing again although I never ever let her scream her lungs out. I feel good it never got to that, love her sleeping with me, love the snuggles!

[Bathsheba]

Great post Laura Can I also add to that list of co-sleeping benefits? from another thread I read that co-sleeping boosts your child's immunity as the extended close contact promotes the tranferance of germs between parents and child. This is a GOOD thing. it is much better for a childs' body to have regular contact with germs (the body gets good at fighting them) rather than keeping them germ-free and them suddenly getting a big dose of germs such as when a cold virus is brought home from school by another child. It was also said that uncircumsized baby boys benefit from this regular germ exposure and have significantly less urinary tract infections if they have co-slept.

MrsMac: i agree... 13 years ago co-sleeping was more frowned upon and I did so with guilt. I'm glad i have an arrogant streak LOL I guess basically my theory is that if you do things the way nature intended than you can't really go wrong. It seems to me that more and more frequently this is the message from the 'experts'... 'go back to how nature does things... we stuffed up when we interferred'.

[mrsmac]

I used to wake up in a blind panic that I had forgotten to put her back in her cradle after a feed and that she was still in bed with me thats how paranoid I was Bath! This was 16 years ago though!