Quick Question - Is it 'self settling' if...

[Haydies]

So I'm starting to loose my mind that I am spending every night lying beside DD waiting for her to fall asleep. I find it really frustrating I have to sneak out, holding my breath so she doesn't hear me, because if she wakes, it all starts over.

This isn't right.. right? This is not how bed times should be.

So, we've started something new. I'm currently sitting in my hallway on the laptop (yay for wireless internet), while she tosses and turns in the bed about 3 meters away. She's just watching me, fighting sleep and occassionally sticking her head up. She's not upset in any way, in fact she seems quite content.

If she falls asleep with me sitting here, where she can see me, is that considered 'self settling'? I'm a little confused as to what actually constitutes "self settling". Does it have to be where she's completely on her own? Or just not being rocked/fed/cuddled to sleep?

(( I do have the restrain from laughing when she casually crawled to the other end of the bed and a simple "go to sleep" from me resulted in her beelining back up to the pillows and slamming her head down all "What? I wasn't doing anything." like ))

[M22]

hey mel,

i would say yes- good on you. i did laugh too waht a crack up!!!

shes sooooooooooo sweet!!

[feeb]

aww that sounds so sweet her doing that!!!

sounds like she is doing well (gotta love wireless)

[[M]umma[M]ia]

well i class self settling as them going to sleep by themselves. so not being rocked etc. ur doing a great job.. just every week or so move a little bit further away from her but still so she can hear u typing/coughing even if she cant see u and then do less of that and im sure she will get the idea that even tho mummy isnt right next to me shes just outside my door (which u wont be ) Does that make sense?

[Haydies]

Thanks for the replies girls.

It took her 2 hours to fall asleep tonight, but I wasn't worried because although I was a little uncomfy (note to self - sit on a pillow tomorrow night), I was able to get some stuff done. It made me realise that my problem isn't the need to be beside her while she drifts off, but the frustration that while I was there, it was eating into my time.

If she's happy to have me working on the laptop while she falls asleep, then I'm happy to sit there. And yes, gotta love wireless!!

I guess it is, but its up to you whether you think she really does need to still get herself off to sleep, as she is still quite young.

You know, I've never really looked at it that way. I think I got a little sucked into the whole "well my kids put themselves to sleep" and the "She can't fall asleep on her own" comments. A lot of the change has been born out of the past week or so. DH had two weeks home over Xmas which was great, but when he returned to work, DD got beyond clingy (like hello, can I breath my own oxygen clingy). She started getting up 2 - 3 times after we put her down. And she wouldn't even grizzle, just get up and walk out to us. That would then cause her to wake up and we'd spend half hour or more trying to get her back to sleep.

DH and I were snapping at each other as we weren't getting a break at night, we were both frustrated, etc. So in a bid of frustration he just sat down outside the door with his laptop, and that's where the idea came on us to just do that each night until she feels safe again.

I guess I just want to feel like she's improving sleep wise slightly. She's always fought sleep, which I just soooo don't understand as I love sleep!! I'm hoping that if this is what they call "self settling", that it might be a good sign she will be able to resettle when she wakes, and potentially sleep through the night soon. (Since we co-sleep, anytime she does stir overnight, she is able to fall back asleep coz I'm there).

Oh yeah, and if the first dive for the pillows wasn't funny enough, it got better! There's a giraffe thing in that room that has a button on it's head, that when you press it makes a noise. It was starting to get dark and I didn't see she had moved down again... until I heard the "blurk blurk blurk" sound it makes. By the time I had looked into the room, she had already dived back into the bed and was lying down with her eyes shut. PMSL she was pretending to be asleep as if she didn't do it!! I did loose it and laugh at that, to which I heard a little "he he" come from the bed too.

Cheeky monkey....

[M22]

waht a mega cutie!!!

keep up the good work sweetie!!!

[Matryoshka]

I guess it is, but its up to you whether you think she really does need to still get herself off to sleep, as she is still quite young.

Its hard to say whats right - i STILL lay with my 2.5 year old and do the sneak away when he's asleep, and while its really frustrating at times, i know that he still needs this kind of comfort to get off to sleep.

Whats right for one child isn't necessarily right for another, my 5 month old doesn't like being layed next to!

I think as long as she's happy for you to be a small distance away then theres nothing wrong with trying to change something which i know is really frustrating and time consuming at times!