Finn screams bloody murder if he isn't bf to sleep.

[mamatochompers]

Hi everyone,

I'm having some major problems with weaning my 9 mth old baby off bfing to sleep. In a nutshell he won't let me not feed him to sleep. He'll cry and eventually scream, and rocking, patting, shhhhing him only makes him really angry and more upset.

What should I do? Should I persevere and continue trying to comfort him without a boob? What if he doesn't go to sleep? Or should I just try to calm him with a small feed and put him down? If I go for the second option, how will I wean him off it completely? I need to solve this in a few weeks because he's starting childcare which of course is adding to the stress.

Any ideas would be so greatly appreciated because I'm really losing it. Crying it out goes against every notion I have of what it is to be a parent, but I'm sure that's what will happen if I don't get it sorted out before he starts care.

Thanks

[Tobily]

Hey
I feel your pain. My DS is 20 months and he still breastfeeds to sleep. BUT there is good news - if I'm not around he is just fine to go to sleep without it.

I went through a similar trauma to what you are now trying to break his habit when he started family daycare - he was about 11 months old. I couldn't. Turned out that he went to sleep there without and it was all good - he knew I wasn't there and that was that. He was/is the same when he is left with DH. But if I am home, to this day, and try to put him to sleep without boob he will scream like I'm murdering him.

This is really common apparently, so you might not find it's going to be the problem you think...fingers crossed!

[mamatochompers]

Thanks for that. That's really reassuring. I might go out on the weekend alone and see if D can settle him on his own. Thanks heaps and I love your signature, BTW

Does anyone know how I can wean him off it though? I suffer from insomnia and often if I have to get up to resettle him at night I won't be able to go back to sleep, so it would be good if I could teach him how to settle himself. Am I expecting too much from him?

[KatieRabbit]

Can you get a copy of Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solutions (Dymocks etc)? She describes the method of weaning off the breast to sleep. It takes time and effort (but any method will) and it involves allowing your son to feed until very sleepy, then detaching. He will cry, then you reattach and keep doing this until he is asleep. So in effect, he is 'dropping' off to sleep without the nipple in his mouth. It is better described in the book! You can also (when he is off but asleep, but 'rooting' for the nipple) VERY GENTLY close his jaw to stop the sucking motion when he is off. You repeat this every feed, every day until he is asleep without the breast. It may be that you still hold him to sleep, but then you will have to work on getting him to sleep in the cot with you settling him. the book also has lovely settling strategies that don't involve you leaving him to cry.

[Uncle Amy]

This is so funny,

I noticed your thread above the others because my sons name is Finian - and then you are also describing the problem i have nowI He is 7 months and i am a single mother so I can't forsee being able to put him to bed without myself! but thanks I will look for that book at dymocks.

and for Finn - never lose hope that sometimes he might just go to sleep without any coaxing. It may only happen once a month, but I do believe it's good to keep his options open and don't settle on "he will always. ." Go with your gut, if you feel like doing something a little bit different, or your so sick of the routine you need to, try it. The last time this worked, he was wide awake, but calm. He was very tired and had been refusing to even drop off after his feed - he'd get on the boob then almost wake up as soo as he dropped off it, and get all animated again. so i walked about with him in my arms patting him on the bum, then on the shoulder, then when I got sick of it, I put him in his cot, tucked him in, his eyes were open, i turned out the light, patted him for about 5.5 seconds thenleft the room.

I live for moments like that, give him the chance to prove he can be a genius, and meantime I'm with ya sista, my boobs are sore and I REALLY hoping he can learn to go to sleep regularly without my boob.

P.S tomorrow night on t.v at 7.30pm on some commercial television is a program on settling babies - today tonight or something like that, good luck

[Lolli]

No advice here, we're not at that stage, just wanted to say that the show on tomorrow night is A Current Affair. A BellyBelly member, Buzzie, will be on there

[Uncle Amy]

Cool!!!