We're having huge issues settling DD when away from home, such as at Grandparents houses, so am keen on any tips. The main problem is that she is so alert and wants to be in with the action to the point that she gets over tired and then cracks it. On Thurs, we were at the PIL house and she was happy,happy,happy until she got over tired so she just cried for 45 minutes - nothing would work! This prompted my FIl to harp on about how we should put her down crying for 5 mins then pick her up and keep repeating this - no thanks! So, Sunday we were at my parents house following DD's christening, so there was a large gathering of people. Anyway, we watched for her tired signs and as soon as her noise turned to her "i'm tired" grizzle, I grabbed her, depsite comments that she wasn't ready for bed yet, anyway DH and I took her to a quite room and took it in turns trying different things - she was too wired to sleep but was not upset at this point. I went in and gave her a feed and then sat rocking and singing - I was so close to having her asleep but then I think she realised so that was when she cracked it! In the end, we gave up and she was happy, then 20 mins later, I popped her in the pusher and took her for a walk which worked a treat.
Sorry about the essay! But how do other people settle at other people's houses? what can we do to get her to sleep?
I used to have huge problems too. DD#1 is now great and when she's tired she'll just go into her room at Mum's and bash on the side of her cot until I put her to bed. DD#2 is still a problem but slowly getting better.
What I've done with both of my girls is mostly what you have described - go to a quiet room away from stimulation. I've firstly let them play in that room for a while - its quieter play without lots of people around though so they wind down a bit. Then I'll give a feed and hold her on me so she will gradually doze off.
TBH though, most of the time I just accept that they are just going to get a bit cranky and overtired from missing a sleep. Things got a lot easier with DD#1 when she started crawling and then walking - so much more physical activity really tired her out so she was much easier to get to sleep wherever we were.
Hang in there - and try to ignore the comments of ILs. Mine don't understand the parenting choices made by DH and I either and I'm constantly told I'm doing something wrong - mostly that I'm overprotective and that I'm spoiling my girls by cuddling them too much. You know your daughter so when you think she's tired, stick to your guns.
Hi,
I've found wearing my DS to be the best way (for him) to get him to calm down and then go to sleep when we're out. He's been worn since birth and so finds it very relaxing and a "cue" to sleep or be quiet/relaxed.
Up until he was 6 mths or so I wore him in a Hug-a-Bub and since then I've been wearing him in an Ergo carrier. I find this works really well as I can BF whilst wearing him (without people knowing) and he can zone out from all the stimualtion. It also enables me to still be involved in the group instead of having to withdraw (which I have tried - and you're away for ages!).
If I don't want to wear him after he falls asleep, I can then gently lie him down on a sheepskin/rug on the floor in a quiet room. Otherwise I just keep wearing him whilst he's asleep and almost forget he's there (he's just snuggled into me - feeling secure and loved).
This may not be for you, but it's certainly worked for me, my DS and my hubby and given us a lot of freedom when going places (more-so, I've observed, than babies that consistently have to sleep in the same cot/bed). If you have relatives/friends that your baby's comfortable with, they can also wear your bubba.
I also find DD needs some quiet time in another room to wind down before a sleep when were out, only 5 minutes or so. A nappie change, a little game of peak-a-boo (the current favourite!), then I wrap her and bf her to sleep and pop her down.
I find if too many people are in her face I put her in the baby bjorn or in her pram in the corner and that will settle her, even if she doesn't sleep she can have a break.
Good luck!
settling away from home
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