Bubs is 8mths old and I still rock to sleep. When tired signs occur, (about 2.5hrs of wake time at the moment), we change nappy and I say "time to go to sleep". Then I sit on my bed and hold him in my arms and within 10minutes he is in his cot alseep. (it use to take 45mins - so we have dwindled the time down considerably) So it works for me. However, I am going back to work in 7weeks - partime - when bubs will be 10mths. I was hoping he would naturally move to going to sleep in his cot by this time. I would love to hear stories on how others have approached this situation and any suggestions!!!
This is my first time on this site and absolutely love to see this forum!! Thanks for your help
Can I just say from a carers point of view, life is so much easier if bub will settle self off to sleep, either in a cot or on a "bed mat". I've been a child care worker for about 12 years and have had many babies at different ages with all different sleep styles. One I had used to be wrapped, cuddled, patted and rocked (all at once) he also had a dummy, I ended up with him wrapped laying on the lounge beside me and being able to pat/rock to get him to sleep. I could then lift him and place in a cot. I eventually had him at the stage where I could pop him in the cot, pat his bottom and hold his shoulder and he would go off to sleep. His mother then took him out of care because his grandmother wanted to look after him. I currently have 3 babies in care, 1x5mo, 2 x 15mo. All three are placed in the cot, told have a good sleep and I walk out and leave them. One of the 15mo sleeps in a gro-bag and has a cuddly, the others have dummies.
Suggestions to try: place bub in the cot, one hand on his shoulder the other on his bottom. That way he can feel that you're still there. Even a slight rocking movement with your hands may help, If needed a little pat can send them off to sleep quite quickly or another one is to rub your finger down their forehead and nose in a soothing manner.
How does he react if you put him in the cot and leave him. Will he self settle or does he become distressed? Would you try controlled crying? Perhaps sitting on the floor beside the cot and patting his bottom?
Hi Mum2Willie. Yep I have been there and good on you for creating such a comforting sleep environment for your bub. It is likely to make the transition easier. A book to recommend is Pinky McKays "sleeping like a baby".
But some notes from me...
1. Just try putting your baby down after a cuddle but before he actually goes to sleep. Sometimes I haven't tried because I don't think DS can do it and then when I do I am pleasantly surprised. The worst thing that can happen is that he gets upset and you pick him up again. Make sure he has any comfort items that he is used to for the transition.
2. Make sure your DS spend some happy time in his cot when he is awake. This will mean he is much more comfortable in there when he is going to sleep and also when he wakes up.
3. Try to transition when other things aren't happening. eg. don't also try and move him into a different room, or don't try it when he is teething or sick etc.
4. Put something on the roof that is interesting but not stimulating. It will give him something to look at as he is drifting off. The ceiling fan is great for DS but we live in a hot climate as well.
5. Have some quiet but steady background noise while he is drifting off as it reminds them that you are around and they are not alone.
6. Don't fret too much. Daycare carers are used to bubs getting to sleep in lots of different ways and they don't seem to fight sleep as much when they don't have their parents around - probably because they stay awake until they are really tired with all of the activity and also because they don't have as strong a desire to remain with the carer as with you.
If I just put him in the cot he cries and cries and it escalates. I have lasted 1hr once and gave up. It has just been easier for me holding him. I have markedly reduced the amount of time that I hold him for - now never longer than 10mins. It used to be a lot longer. When I put him in he is drowsy (sometimes asleep) and he puts his thumb in and sucks himself off to a deep sleep. I guess the first step is to further reduce the amount of time I hold him and perhaps pat him in the cot when he is drowsy, after holding him for that shorter time - what do you think?
Last edited by Mum2Willie; November 24th, 2008 at 12:48 PM.
We went through this process with my DS a few months ago, and we still have our ups and downs, it took me a good 4 weeks to get there, but we did baby steps.
My first question is, is his cot in his own room or yours? If he has his own room, I would suggest by starting off going into his room and rocking him to sleep, so he gets used to falling asleep in whichever room his cot is in.
The next step I took was rocking till almost asleep, but not quite and laying him in his cot and patting, if he got upset I would pick him up and rock him again till calm and almost sleeping and placing back into the cot and patting until asleep. Sometimes I had to do this 5-6 times, and I would only pick him up if he was really upset, not just gizzling.
Next step was to take him into his room, do nappy etc, give him a cuddle and some songs and then put him in the cot and pat him to sleep.
Next was same as above but patting till almost sleeping and stopping before he fell asleep so he fell asleep on his own.
Next was to give him a quick pat, but stopping while still awake and just sitting quietly in his room while he fell asleep. He he got up or grizzled I would give a quick pat till settled and just sit back again, I would leave when he was asleep.
Last step was to put in his cot, give a quick pat and leave the room before he was asleep. I go back in if he gets upset, and resettle to laying down, quick pat and leave again.
It was quite long and time consuming, but worth it in the end,because now I just go in and give him a quick cuddle and pat, lay him down and leave- 9 times out of 10 he goes to sleep on his own.
I think the key to it all is just to do it small steps at a time, so he gets used to the new process. I would spend up to a week getting them used to each step before moving on.
Hi,
we are in the same situation here, and i am doing what Ali is doing...
we are up to rocking til almost asleep at the mo, sometimes it works other times she just gets really really upset and i have to wait til she is asleep before putting her down.
MJ cries and cries if i just put her in the cot straight away, but had been reading to her when she was in her cot, but that upset her, so now we have her last feed, then go into her room if we dont do the feed there. Next i put her down to play with toys on the floor and i read to her for about 30 mins.
Then i pick her up to rock her... usually she knows this is coming and will protest a little by crying, but generally settles well.
We have been doing this for about 3 weeks now, i am hoping by christmas she will be able to go down herself... so i think i will be doing it a lot longer than Ali, but we will get there eventually
How glad am I to find this thread!! I just started this process today... I am a bit scared that I won't cope with her crying but DH and I keep telling ourselves that it is better for her in the long run...I will be checking back to see how the other mums and bubs go
I did a very similar thing to Ali, and my DS now can go to sleep by himself 9 out of 10 times. The 10th time, I do need to help a little, but no where near as much as I did. He used to need to have a boob and be fed to sleep. It was a slow process but worth it. Good luck with it.
I think the thing to keep in mind as well, is there will always be set backs but it is important that to stick with the routine as much as possible. My DS has just cut 2 teeth and had a really hard time with it and was quite unwell, so he needed extra help getting to sleep- and some night ended up in bed with us- BUT now that he is better we are back in routine, it is taking a bit extra to get him off, and some nights I am having to sit in his room for a bit until he is almost asleep before I sneak out, but slowly I am shortening the amount of time I stay, so now it is just a couple of minutes and I sneak out.
Thanks Ali for brilliant list of steps. Glad to see lots of other people also going through the same process. Bubs cot is in his own room but I have been rocking him in my bed. Guess I need to put a couch for something in his room and start putting him to sleep in there. With the step from rocking to almost asleep, to putting him in the cot and patting - did you reduce the amount of rocking bit by bit - say 1 minute each day. How did you know it was time to try putting him in cot and patting? I tried that yesterday and it was a complete disaster...
Oour first night went pretty good, Bethany is still in our room so when she got too worked up I just went over and soothed her, till she was calm, only took about 3 goes each time and she dropped off. I noticed she is sleeping better too, Not as restless. We just did a day one, took a bit longer but again I just kept going in soothing and walking out. It is soooo hard not to pick her up though!! But I can see it working which is soooo good.
For me when going from rocking to going into the cot sleepy alot of times it would depend on your baby, some days Liam would be sleepy in a matter of minutes, sometimes he would lay in my arms staring up at me for ages.
I think for you the first step will be getting your DS used to falling asleep in his room, he needs to becomes comfortable falling asleep in those surroundings.
When I went to the stage of putting Liam down sleepy, I would wait till his eyes started flagging and that would be my queue to pop him in his cot. For me the key was making sure he had a firm hand on him, so he knew I was still there. I would put one hand on his shoulder and put with the other.
Goodluck with the process, I hope it is not too traumatic for you. I know it seems daunting but it truly is worth it in the end.
From rocking to sleep to cot
Thanks for your help
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