I know the question sounds so silly... but I am interested to know, from anyone who co-sleeps, how you do it? I often bring Claire into our bed, but DH freaks out when I do and he goes out to lie down on the couch as he is scared of squashing Claire.
So, my questions are: if you co-sleep, how do YOU do it?
Do you have baby in your bed, or do you use one of those mini beds that goes next to your bed?
If you do have baby in your bed, how big is your bed?? It seems to me that a queen bed might be a bit squishy for co-sleeping because wouldnt you want to give your baby plenty of room so they dont get smothered?
And, if your baby is in your bed, is it just you and baby, or you baby and your partner?
AND, if baby is in your bed, do you just put him/her on the mattress or do you use a special little thing to put them in so they dont roll away?
sorry if this has already been posted. I couldnt really find what I was looking for when I searched.
thanks
I have a moses basket next to my bed, DS has his evening sleep in it. He wakes at some point between 11pm-3am (usually closer to 11!) and I grab him, lie us both down and latch him on. We then go back to sleep with him in a sleeping bag and me wearing the duvet like a cape. DH has slept with DS in the bed as I have my arms around DS so he can't roll off the bed or be squished, but he prefers a camp bed in the (unused!) nursery for now. We have a standard double bed and there is room for three, but as I said, DH doesn't really like it. We only do it when staying at my parents because he has nowhere else to sleep; if we explained the situation to my mother she'd go on and on about this killing DS. Planned, sensible co-sleeping does not kill a baby! If you drink any alcohol, smoke or take sleeping pills or other drowsy-making medication (you or your beloved) then you shouldn't co-sleep.
Hope this answers your questions. You can feed then put the baby back in the crib, but I get a far more restful night with DS in my arms and he doesn't wake up with the transfer back to his bed. I used to be a deep,wriggly sleeper but not now I'm co-sleeping; Mummy hormones when we're near our babies protect us and them. Plus when I wake from a nightmare it's such a relief to hear and feel DS against me, co-sleeping rocks!
check the sids and kids safe co -sleeping advice ...
we co-sleep with two ... though now they are 11 months we made a short side car bed so the one sleeping on my other side doesn't roll out (and I have more room- though he still is very close to me . The one in middle doesn't get squashed but he snuggles up to me to bf.
Our bed in Q size. One co slept from beginning pretty much but DH and I are slight to medium built and we don't smoke/drink excessively etc so we always aware of him IYKWIM.
You can buy special co sleeping inserts - ask Michelle 71 with new bub Oscar and if you have room push a cot right up beside your bed and other special ones i can send you a link ~ by time we thought about they were too old.
Enjoy it -it is lovely and I believe I get much more sleep not getting up to them and being able to comfort them instantly.
We put the cot as a sidecar and settled Sammy in there at first after falling asleep on the boob, and then during the night hed wake up,feed and fall asleep. Now he spends some of his time in his bed in his room before running into our bed and snuggling in the middle. I know how it is about being worried about rolling on top of bubs but our inner reflexes kick in and we are always very mindful. We both are of average build, dont smoke and rarely drink.
Our bed is a king size and when the boys were little they would just sleep between us now they have thier own double bed that they share and they also have a single mattress on the floor of thier room and we kind of play musical beds. Some nights we're all in the boys room (I might sleep in the bed with the boys while DH is on the matres or DH and Yasin might use the matress while Imarn and I use the bed or vice-versa or any other combo you can think of LOL - depending on where we fall) and other nights we will be divided between our room and the boys room. Our sleeping arrangements are pretty flexible - if one of us needs a really good night's sleep we will sleep alone in the big bed or if one of the boys is sick we'll put them in seperate rooms.
The SIDs and Kids website has guidelines that you should follow within those guidelines you can just do whatever you feel happy with
Thanks heaps for your responses.. theyve given me some things to consider.
DH and I dont drink/smoke/drugs/sleeping tablets etc at all, so thats good thing! I guess I am just worried about squashing Claire! DH is a bigish guy (95kg) and I am not very big (45kg).. but DH is a heavy sleeper and thrashes around in his sleep a bit, so I am worried about putting Claire between us. I like the idea of the side car thingos, but I dont think it'll work as our cot is massive (Its a Boori and its so huge that even I can fit inside it). Do you use a normal cot or a special type of cot?
I like the idea of musical beds but when she is older. I remember when I was younger I used to sleep with my mum a fair bit.
I will have a think about it and look on the Sids and Kids website too.
Linz I have been doing that too but then DH forgets and falls asleep and then wakes up and freaks out and goes out of the room? Silly man. He is happy for me to co-sleep, but I thik he just doesnt want to be in the bed too! I am thinking maybe I should put her on the end of the bed and maybe see if there is some sort of rail I can put on the bed so she cant roll out? Does anyone know if there is such a thing?
We have co-slept since DS was about 8 weeks old and he is now 16 months old and still sleeps with us at least half of the night. I make a point that he always starts the night in his bed though. When he was little I had one of the anti-roll thingos to prevent either of us from rolling on to him and that worked well. Now that he is bigger we don't need that and he sleeps in between us just fine. He has a feed, then scoots himself up in between our pillows and falls asleep. It works perfectly as he can sleep uncovered, but we can stay covered and warm. I love co-sleeping as it lets me get more sleep and I don't have to get up and freeze when he needs a feed.
Every once in awhile he gets too unsettled and then DH will take him into the spare room and they will sleep in there which means for some reason DS settles and sleeps better and I get a good block of sleep. Both beds are double beds. I hope that helps...
thanks Caro, i might just try a pillow on the edge so she doesnt roll, and then I'll squish DH into the corner. He is happy for me to co-sleep, just as long as he knows, which he does, but he seems to forget she is there.
lol no, by 'end of the bed' i meant next to me, but on the edge side of me, not the middle. I am bad at explaining things, haha. I'm not going to put her at my feet or anything like like. She'll just get kicked off the foot of the bed or smothered by dooona. where did you get that sleep positioner?
thanks Heidi. I think when she is older I wont be so worried about DH squashing her. And she does settle better and I get more sleep if she's is with us. I also freeze when I get up in the middle of the night to feed her, and then after that, I can never get back to sleep, but i can if she is in with us.
Last edited by Karina; June 19th, 2007 at 11:32 AM.
My brother in law and his wife have a 8 year old and almost 3 year old still sleeping with them. We often joke about how they managed to concieve the youngest. It works for them and the kids are healthy and happy so that's great.
When I had my DS, he only came into the bed in the mornings for his morning feed when DH would bring him in before he went to work....I couldn't sleep with him there for fear of rolling on him and that was him and me in a QS bed!!
There's nothing like having a big cuddle with everyone in the bed though...I'm going to enjoy having 4 of us having fun in the mornings before getting up!!
I do understand the concern about squashing but something I read somewhere (maybe one of Pinky's books) is.... when was the last time you fell out of bed? Even in our sleep we are aware to some extent of our surrounds (although we can't smell) so unless you drink etc it's very unlikely that you will sleep on your baby.
Sleep accidents usually occur when people ignore the safe sleeping guidelines.
Then again if the fear of squishing bubs is stopping you from getting a good night's sleep it might be best to set up a side car or buy one of those snuggle beds - because you need your sleep!!
I was nervous about cosleeping when DS was tiny.. we only really started when we moved in with my mum for a few months.. and DS was about 7 months old? Now he's with us the majority of the time LOL. I have started trying to put him to bed in his own bed, but it's my laziness that makes us cosleep, coz I don't wanna have to get up in the middle of the cold night to fetch him LOL.
He's always just slept between us. DH didn't seem worried about squashing him, he was always aware of where he was.
There are times when DS sleeps in our bed. We have a QS bed. Neither of us drink/smoke etc, so I am always aware that he is there. I wrap him, so I don't get a finger in the eye, get his anti roll thingo (dunno what it's called) and put him in the anti roll thingo on a pillow (the sort of pillow you sleep on lengthways) between DH and I. He is elevated, so there is no way I can squash him.
He is also further up the bed so his head is the same height as ours. He falls asleep with me on my side breathing in his ear. The heavier I breathe in his ear, the deeper his sleep. The anti roll thing stops him rolling of the pillow.
I don't sleep as well as when he isn't there because I am aware of his presence. DH has to turn over without flayling his arms all over the show. He is also aware of his presence.
When the alarm goes off, we all wake up together - happy families!!
Of course, some nights he stays in his cot, in his room all night, but there is the odd night where he just wants some company.
Co-sleeping .. how do i do it?
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... though now they are 11 months we made a short side car bed so the one sleeping on my other side doesn't roll out (and I have more room- though he still is very close to me . The one in middle doesn't get squashed but he snuggles up to me to bf.
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