Okay I realise every baby is different... but.... I am wondering how much sleep on average could you expect from a 12 week old at night?
We currently bath Hollie at around 10pm (I realise this is ridiculously late) and then give her a feed, and this usually means she will sleep until about 5am, or 7-8am on a really good day... I know she needs to be going to bed earlier, especially as she isnt a little newborn anymore and will soon be a little girl. I would love to try to get her down at say 8pm, but every time we give her a bath earlier and try to get her to sleep earlier (following all the same rituals only difference is the timing) it fails miserably, she just won't settle in her cot any earlier in the evening, its as if she 'knows' it isn't her usual bed time.
Everytime I bath her earlier, say 7pm, even if she has her last feed at the same time (10.30pm) she has then been waking at 4am, I can only attribute this to the earlier timing of her bath... I am desperate to stop bathing her at 10pm, but am not too keen on the 4am wake ups...
Does anyone have any idea how I could coax her into going down for the evening earlier...? and even then can i really expect a 12 week old to WANT to sleep until a reasonable hour, say 6am? (i realise she will need fed during the evening, thats fine, i just think there is no way she will ever be sleeping at say 8pm and only waking for a feed(s) then straight back to sleep til the morning)
i think if i ever do get her down early, i think she will then wake for the day super early as a result... is anyone else in a similar situation or does everyone have their babies sleeping soundly come early evening?
id really love to hear what other babies of a similar age sleep or slept at night.
Start with bathing her at 9.30 for a week, then 9pm, then 8.30, then 8pm, then 7.30. It will take a while, but doing it all at once will be very confusing.
Can't help you with the waking up, I'd kill for Liebling to be doing 10-5! That's amazing.
I agree with Ryn - I was going to suggest exactly the same thing. It is the long way to do it but less frustrating I think. And DS is 16 months old and still not sleeping through - so I'm with Ryn there as well - would love DS to sleep 7 hours straight no matter when they are in the course of the night. So far on a good night we get a 4-5 hour stretch!!
Hi Emma - my DD is 14 weeks old. She goes down anytime between 6 and 7, she will wake once between 3 and 5am but then go back down until between 7 and 9am. i wish i knew the secret but i'm afraid i don't. from any feed after 5pm i then play for a short time then bath her and then put her down after rocking to sleep. the only thing i make sure is that she has had 5 feeds in the 24 hour period. she has been doing this since about 5 weeks but has been a good night sleeper since 2 weeks. good luck.
I agree with everyone else, definitely try bringing it forward by 15 minutes every night. I'd definitely be trying to get her bedtime earlier because in a few months time you'll probably start to have problems with night waking if she's really overtired when she goes to bed. Often these things are fairly easily sorted when they're quite young.
thanks guys.... yes i know i have been really lucky having her go such long stretches at night... i seem to have jinxed myself though as she now is only going 4 hours... dam! i am hoping it is her 12 week growth spurt thingi....
so it IS reasonable for a baby to sleep from say 7pm to 6am, just waking for feedings, not for 'wake time'...? I managed to rock her to sleep at 6.30pm last night, and she woke just before 10pm so she had a feed and a play, and went down at 11.30pm, then she woke at 4.30am and same thing, had a feed and a play til 6am.... i guess what i am asking is, is it reasonable to expect her not to have the play, to just go straight back to sleep? it just seems like so much sleep!
I don't have the answer but have the same problem. We bath DS at 9:30 and then he has a story and a feed (He's 7 weeks) and he then sleeps till 4-6am. Great for us but I also want to get his bath back to when he has his 7ish feed and put him down to sleep and then try and give him a feed around 10/11 ish and see what he does so I will be interested in people's suggestions on this. We haven't been game to try it yet but maybe we should give it a go and see what he does. Love to know what people think.
just wanted to post an update, especially for SRV....
last night hollie had a feed at about 5.30pm, then a bath just after 6pm, then a top up feed at about 6.30pm... by 6.45pm she was asleep in her cot, she did wake every 45 minutes (she also does this during the day) and i had to go in and replace the dummy, but she slept until 10.30pm then had a sleepy feed, she then woke at 2.30am and i replaced the dummy as i didnt think she had 'gone long enough' between feeds, she woke an hour later at 3.30am and i gave her a feed, i think she would have dropped back off to sleep around 4.15am, then woke at 7.15am this morning. Amazing, i cannot believe she had so much sleep!! I was worried when i put her down after her 3.30am feed that she would be up for hours, as she seemed wide awake, but i just left the room and went back to bed, i could hear little noises, but no crying i had to get up for.
She didn't take much of a feed this morning, so i think i am going to make the middle of the night feeds gradually smaller, til hopefully she wont need them (fingers crossed). She only lasted about 45 minutes this morning then showed tired signs, so is now back down having a nap. I suspect she woke earlier than 7.15am and perhaps i didnt hear her or she was content to just lay in her cot (unbelievable?!), as she can usually last 1.5hours of play time, usually - so it was substantially shorter today.
Anyways I know it has only worked one night, but i am going to persevere with this 'routine' as it was absolutely wonderful to eat my dinner in peace last night, and i even had an hours sleep before giving her the 10.30pm feed. she had an abundance of day time naps yesterday too, probably about 4 hours worth. Will be interesting to see if she sleeps much today.
That sounds really good. I also would kill to have dinner in peace and just a brief amount of time to talk to hubby. Stephen has a cold at the moment so I won't change his routine till he's over that but then we'll give it a go. Especially since he's still going from 10pm to 5am without waking despite his cold. Then I definitely want to try what you're doing and bring his bath forward to his 6pm feed. I'm glad it's working for you, I hope we have the same success. Will keep you posted.
second night running and so far so good (at 9.30pm).... am still very nervous come 3am-ish in case she thinks it is time to rise for the day.... fingers crossed.
thats so weird, hollie used to do 10pm til 5am too, and sometimes longer, but now we are back to four hour wakings, i am praying it is only temporary... has anyone else had a bub who reverts back to more wakings at night then it passes? please tell me it will pass?!
Am really glad things seem to be a little better for you. Ever since we bought Erynn home from the hospital, I would make sure that she was awake at 5.30pm for playtime, then undress her for nudie nakey(about 10 minutes - great for airing everything out!!!) time while I prepare her bath. By 6pm she is drinking her bottle and by 6.30pm she is in bed.
DH or I will give her a feed between 10 and 11 then she sleeps through til about 5 or 6am which suits us fine. We know that she will sleep longer as she gets older so I think that she is doing great. I have always done this ritual with her and she knows the routine and becomes Princess Crankypants if we dont follow it.
The 4 hourly wakings will pass. Erynn went through that phase also so we stretched her 10pm feed out till 11 or 12 and she is doing great. Offer bubs her dummy or let her fuss for a minute or two as Erynn generally makes a couple of noises then goes back to sleep.
Emma, I've found with Stephen that sometimes he's woken up from "day" sleeps ie after his 5am feed he wakes about 8:30 / 9:30 ish or his other day sleeps and he cries to be picked up but he doesn't necessarily wants his feed straight away...when I've offerred it he's only taken 50 - 80ml and quite reluctantly and will end up pulling away. If I stretch it out a bit, change his nappy, have a cuddle and a play till he gets grizzly and then give him his feed he takes a nice big feed and still has a little play after before bed. So sometimes he wants sleep, play, feed, play, sleep rather than sleep, feed, play, sleep. Don't know if that will increase what she drinks. In any case the amounts on the formula can are just guides. It doesn't really matter if she's having lots of wet nappies and enough poos and putting on weight. But that's just a thought.
Hi Emma,
Have you tried waking Hollie for a "rollover" feed when you are ready to go to bed say at 10-11pm? I have found that this works for us:
Feed at 6pm, then bath and in bed by 7pm
Wake baby for feed at 10.30pm, even when sound asleep. No talking or play, keep lights dim, just feed and straight back to sleep.
Baby wakes around 5am for feed. Do same (dim lights, no talking) and back to bed, even if he looks awake. As it's still dark outside I consider it night time - I don't offer any options for play. Keeping lights low as possible helps most I think. My bubs goes back to sleep until about 8am or so.
It is true that most babies need 15hrs in total (over a 24 hour period) at 12 weeks. Does she sleep well during the day? My baby sleeps poorly during the day so i try to get him to sleep for as long as possible overnight.
With regards to the dummy, we use it to settle our baby but not to sleep. If your baby wakes only to replace dummy I would consider not using it as a sleep tool, especially if it is every 45mins.
thanks for your advice guys
she WAS sleeping from 10.30pm until at least 5am, sometimes 6,7 or 8am just a few weeks ago (and this was breast feeding too), but now she is waking at four hourly intervals, i just don't get it.
Even when I do the sleepy feed at 10.30pm, where I just feed her practicially in her sleep, she still wakes at 1am for a feed. I just don't get it. I have bought some different teats today (faster flowing) hoping that she will take more milk during the day, as she only takes about 90mls per feed, which just doesn't seem to be enough, especially when she does giant spews a lot of the time.
With regards to the dummy, I am interested in weaning her off this, if it could be done without too much upset, as I don't want to rock the boat too much at the moment because her sleep is so off. Its been about 2 weeks now, I guess I can't keep blaming it on a growth spurt.
She does sometimes sleep well during the day. She tries to wake up after 45 minutes, but if i get her back to sleep she can sometimes last 3 hours (not often) but more often than not around an hour or maybe sometimes two hours.
last night it took an hour to actually get her to sleep at about 10.30pm she dropped off, woke at 2am for a feed, then 6am and was up for the day. Have only just managed to get her back down for a nap at 10.30am. She just fights sleep.
ps, JAC - how do you use dummy to settle, but not for sleep...? do you mean you use the dummy while you are calming bubs before putting down to sleep, then take dummy out? or how?
i wish she would learn to even sleep with me in my bed, it would be nice to take her back to bed with me for a cuddle, but she won't sleep unless she is wrapped tightly and i have to sort of hold her, and even then this morning that didnt work, she wouldn't have a bare of it. Is there a way to introduce/encourage co-sleeping with the baby next to you? I am desperate for some sleep but by the time I have gotten her down for a nap I have missed the boat for me to go back to sleep, as I seem to be suffering from a bit of insomnia.
Emma,
I use the dummy to stop the cry and distract him but once he settles down it generally falls out after which I will use patting to sleep rather than replace the dummy as he has calmed down. If your bub does not let go of dummy I would take it away once baby is calm and see how you go (rather than having her fall asleep with it in her mouth)?? My baby fights sleep too. I have found that if I put him to bed sooner rather than later (both during the day between feeds and at night) he struggles with it less. I think being over tired can make them fight sleep more. I have read that at 3 months (actually even up to 6 months) they should only stay up 1-2 hours between feeds. I used to try to keep my baby up for as long as he was happy to "tire him out" but since putting him back to bed sooner (regardless of whether he looks tired or not) has helped with day sleeps. I think your baby just wakes at night because she is hungry and still having her growth spurt so I would just feed her as soon as she wakes and put her back to bed. The waking at night will pass when she is ready. Don't forget they have small tummies that fill quickly but also empty quickly so need filling often as they are growing.
Ryn - He must be tired after the late feed, even if he appears not to be, so I would just persist in trying to settle him back to sleep as soon as he is fed. I use the "pat-shhh" technique which involves placing baby awake, but calm, in bed then patting them to sleep while saying "shhh" if they are making a noise (crying). I had tremendous struggles getting my baby to sleep before using this method. The key is to continue patting for 5-10 minutes after baby LOOKS like they have fallen asleep before leaving them. My baby will wriggle around quite madly for up to 5 mins while I do this, then eventually shuts his eyes (though I ensure roon is very dark so have to squint to make sure). I also turn my head away so that he is not looking at my face - I find that he gets a bit bored of the monotony of the patting in the darkness and this helps a tired baby decide to "nod off". I don't leave though for about 10 mins after this as I sometimes need to start patting again if he wriggles awake. I never ever let him fall asleep on me or in my bed so that's how I get him to sleep in his cot all night, but it takes a long time and a lot of patience. What does your baby do when he "won't go back to sleep" after the late feed?
SRV - I had the EXACT same patterm with my DS at around 6 weeks of age. He would be unsettled between 6-10pm, then go to bed quite well after this time. My suggestion is to continue to perservere with settleing him at 7ish, like you have tried, but stay in his room throughout the time that he usually needs resettling (so probably 20 mins for you) and quickly resettle as soon as he starts to grizzle without picking him up if you can, then stay in room for up to 10 mins more in case he needs resettling again (or wait just outside his room/close by). It takes forever to do it this way but I have found that over time it is really successful. It now takes me 15 mins in total to put DS to bed at 6.30pm and I don't hear from him again until I wake him for a rollover feed. Mind you, it has taken the last 6 weeks of doing this consistently every night for us to get to this satge. Oh, I also only settle DS in his bed awake (only picking him up briefly if he cries - I settle without picking up if he "whinges") - very hard work but so worth it as he now sleeps really well at night.
Sleep - how much at night?
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