Uh oh.. we have sleep issues!! Help!!

[Arimeh]

Arghh we are soo tired!!

Miss M has decided that she is totally allergic to sleep. At the moment, her current routine is to wake up around 7am-ish - go to bed at around 10.30 for a 1.5hr - 2 hr nap - and then fall asleep on her bottle at around 6.30pm for about an hour - then we give her another bottle at 9/10pm - and she usually wakes a few times during the night, and ALWAYS at 3.30/4.00am - and then she's up until 5am - then goes to sleep until around 7am.

We don't give her anything at 3.30am - but I'm thinking we may start giving her a bottle again, just to try to get her to go to sleep!!!!

This routine would be FINE if she was an only child and I could sleep during the day. Problem is, if she's up till 5.00am - she cries and screechs - which wakes DS - so then HE'S up from around 5am. For the entire day. No day sleep.

DH has been a total star, he gets up to her all the time, and usually takes her out to the loungeroom and she eventually falls asleep on his chest (this is after having her in bed with us for an hour and she just wants to play, sing, screech etc) and makes for a very unsettled nights sleep for DS - who sleeps with us.

Problem is - DH will leave for tassie in a month or so, and will be down there a month, so I'll be on my own, with the two kids, neither of whom are good sleepers (DS isn't that bad now that we have dropped his day sleep, he crashes at around 6.45 and wakes up around 10pm and crawls into our bed for the rest of the night) and I'll be around 7ish months pregnant too (with SPD - just for the added bonus).

I need some help - some solutions to get her into a better sleeping routine (ie actually bloody sleeping would be nice!!!) so in a month's time I don't end up killing myself with sleep deprivation!!!!!

I don't even know where to start. DS dropped his 10pm feed when he was around 7ish months - and only ever woke up briefly during the night and that was fixed by putting a dummy in his mouth. DD doesn't use a dummy. So we haven't experienced this for so long (ie - its been going on a YEAR now) and its hard not to get frustrated at her when she wants to play at 3am and all we want to do is sleep!!!!

Help please

[Epacris]

Oh Mel, first big hugs sleep deprivation is torture (like real, proper torture).

Can you try to keep her awake more during the day. For her morning nap, let her have an hour, then wake her? Maybe she might then have her afternoon nap a little bit earlier and don't let that one go too long either? Might be worth a try.

I wouldn't reintroduce a night feed if that's not what you want to do, it will only encourage more night time wakefulness

Just another thought, bright sunshine during the day helps reset body clocks. So when you wake her up from her naps, take her outside into bright sunlight.

More hugs

[Arimeh]

Thanks Rachel.

If she has two sleeps during the day - she has one at around 9.30 for about 40 mins, and then one around 3ish for about the same - then she won't go to sleep till her bottle at 9.30/10pm (depends how cranky she is getting as to the exact time we feed her) and she STILL wakes up at 3/4am.

So since its a struggle getting her to go to sleep during the day (think of lots of screaming, fighting, rocking on hands and knees in cot in a desperate attempt to NOT go to sleep) we find it easier to get her to have the one sleep for a few hours and crash easily at night on the bottle. Its just the constant waking at 3/4am that does our head in. And the wakefulness afterwards....

I mean, it would be easy to get angry at her if she was a little grizzle guts, but she is sooo freakin happy all the damn time that you can't get angry at her. Which sorta makes me angry at me cos I can't get angry at her.. lol

[Epacris]

yeah, that's not much day sleeping is it

Ummmmmm.... when she wakes at night how do you/your DH interact with her? It's sometimes really hard to get the balance right between comforting and stimulating. Are the lights low or off, how much eye contact, how much talking to her, are there any toys that could be stimulating her? Try to be as quiet and as no-fuss as you can?

More dunno More hugs

[Arimeh]

Ummmmmm.... when she wakes at night how do you/your DH interact with her? It's sometimes really hard to get the balance right between comforting and stimulating. Are the lights low or off, how much eye contact, how much talking to her, are there any toys that could be stimulating her? Try to be as quiet and as no-fuss as you can?

When she wakes up, DH tries to resettle her in her cot, then gives up and brings her into our bed.

All lights are off (cos three of us are all in the bed anyway trying to sleep (or stay asleep in DS's case!) and the only talking we do is to tell her that its sleepy time, whilst we drag her down from being on her hands and knees to a lying down position. No eye contact (its dark). Its very no fuss cos we're trying to bloody sleep.. lol

[Epacris]

Oh... Mel... I'm sorry, I've run out of suggestions... more hugs

Maybe someone else will have some more/better ideas.

[Cassius2]

i'm gunna be norti and advocate a milk drink at 3.30am...

DD started waking rather consistently at 4.30am (for the day) so in the end i had to go 'back' to the boob in the dark and back to bed routine. it wasnt that bad and rather quicker than i thought she started sleeping through it again ITMS...

HTH and hope you get some sleep ins before DH goes away! xx

[Michelle71]

Mel - we have been using some tips from the no cry sleep solution book (toddler and baby - toddler is probably better for you) and even just a few of the pointers have made getting a *routine* easier (are you sure you don't have clones of my 2 children though ) The number of hours sleep and the signs of tiredness / sleep deprivation were really helpful here. DS looked like he was busy and playing when in fact we had missed the first tired cues (subtle ones) and he was now overtired and far more difficult to settle.

DS is on day 2 of waking for a few hours in the middle of the night and he did the same around your DD's age. Unfortunately it was a stage here and we just had to ride it out - which in no way helps with the sleep deprivation.

[*Belle*]

Hugs hon. Totally understand you need some sleep!

Will she go to bed an hour earlier say at 9.30am? or does she just fight the sleep? and then only let her sleep for 1hr max so you can put Aricyn and Miss M to bed for their day nap together later in the day? I do this with Julia and Tara, Tara goes to bed for morning nap at 8.30am and sleeps til 10am then they go to bed at 1.30pm and have a sleep and then they dont go to bed at night til 7pm or 8pm. Tara always wakes up at midnight as she hears DH go to bed and she wakes up for the day at 6am.

Hugs mate. xxx

[Arimeh]

she won't go to bed earlier Belle - we have tried, that used to be her routine, and it worked fine - two day naps, but she just fights and fights and fights it, and we both end up frustrated.

Aricyn doesn't have a day nap anymore. If he has a day nap he won't go down for the night until 9.30/10.00pm. Plus he is so whingy after he wakes up after a nap during the day - he's just not a good waker-upper-er.

But yes, your routine sounds good - but would never work here unfortunately.