Wanting to co-sleep but scared

[Santosha]

My baby girl is almost 3 weeks old and until last night has been the sleepiest baby known to womankind to the point that I was waking her for feeds! I believe this was thanks to her prematurity (5 weeks early) and now that she has reached 'term' and is getting stronger, she has found her voice!! I've had cuddles in bed with her but have always put her back in her cradle next to the bed before I go to sleep for fear that I might smother her.

Last night she was really unsettled - had wind pains that finally resolved in spectacular style after about 4 hours of writhing! All I wanted to do was take her into bed with me where i could comfort her and keep her warm enough that she could be free of her blankets and therefore wriggle her legs around to help sort out the wind issue. Just being close calmed her instantly and even though she continued to wriggle, she stopped screaming.

But here's the problem. I couldn't relax and let myself fall asleep. I've read enough on co-sleeping now that I know that I'm unlikely to roll on her and that her risk of being smothered is remote (I don't smoke or drink) but I'm still terrified that I'll wake to a suffocated baby. Now I'm absolutely knackered as of course, I couldn't bear putting her back and having her cry.

I'm really keen to co-sleep. It makes sense to me. It feels right. But I'm scared. Can those of you who've successfully co-slept with infants tell me EXACTLY how you do it?

- how close is baby to you - against your body or a few inches away?
- do you always sleep facing them - if so, what if you want to roll over and face the other way? (I sleep on my side but tend to toss and turn quite a bit)
- what level is baby's face - level with your face, or closer to your chest. Where is your pillow positioned?
- what kind of bedding do you have? How do you ensure that it doesn't cover baby's face?
- how do you make sure that baby doesn't roll out of bed?

TIA ladies.
oxoxo a slightly anxious but blissfully enjoying new mummyhood,

[BellyBelly]

Co-sleeping is safe, provided you follow the safe co-sleeping practices. I co-slept with both of mine from birth. If you read the articles on the main site in the baby section there is loads on co-sleeping and guidelines.

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/articles

[Indadhanu]

- how close is baby to you - against your body or a few inches away?
She is usually always right up against me, snuggling in to me, unless I move her away. When she was tiy I liked to move her a tiny bit away, just so she wasn't right up on me (mostly for my own comfort, gets a bit smothery when she is right up on me all night)

- do you always sleep facing them - if so, what if you want to roll over and face the other way? (I sleep on my side but tend to toss and turn quite a bit)
No, I only face her when she is feeding, and I usually fall asleep but tend to turn over a fair bit, I just sleep normally

- what level is baby's face - level with your face, or closer to your chest. Where is your pillow positioned?
I like to have her level with my head, just so I know she isn't under the blankets, and I prop her up under my arm when she is feeding. When she was teenty tiny i used a little cushion as a pillow, or pushed my pillow over away from her. Now she is older she sleeps on my pillow (which is a bit annoying but anyway LOL).

- what kind of bedding do you have? How do you ensure that it doesn't cover baby's face?
I just used normal bedding, and had her head at my eye-level. Probably not the safest way but I tend to sleep without much bedding so there wasn't a whole lot of chance of her getting trapped. Now she moves around it wouldn't matter what bedding we use, she crawls in and out and giggles and rolls... she'd get under anything and then out again. These days I try to have her on the outside near the cot so she's on the edge of the bedding that way when shes playing she's not 'trapped' IYWKIM. But good practice is to have two sets of bedding I think.

- how do you make sure that baby doesn't roll out of bed?
She slept in the middle, and then when we moved we had enough room to put the cot next to the bed with the side off (sidecar-ing) so she sometimes sleeps on that side too, so if she rolls or crawls she just goes onto the cot.

[Jellyfish]

I have the pillow above her head and her head in line with the milk bar. That way, she can access food without me even needing to wake up! I'm usually facing her and she will be close to me. I use a blanket only over my back (I lay on my side) and the bottom part of my body. Her closeness keeps my chest area warm. She sleeps in a sleeping bag.

[Santosha]

Thanks Kelly, Leasha and Jitterbug. Sounds like you latter 2 both do it slightly differently and I guess we've just gotta find the way that works safely for us. I might try altering my bedding and her positioning, since it's being smothered by the doona that I'm most scared of. There's no way hubby will give up the doona but maybe if I rug-up in my jarmies and just have a lighter blanket over me...?

Will let you know how we go.

[Maruschke]

Oh Kate I am so glad you wrote this thread. I co slept for the first time last night . All night I wanted to turn over, and was getting tired muscles from not being able to roll over! I kept DD1 at booby level, but couldn't quite get the bedding right and was slightly cold on my back and overheated on my chest, LOL. But, it was the best night sleep I have ever had!!!

Also, what do the expert cosleepers do when you need to go to the toilet?

[Arcadia]

I used to lie on my left side with my arm out and knees up with bub in the space between...so she had access to bbs and couldn't slip under the covers or wriggle under the pillow.

The other thing you could try is a side-car arrangement. I have a co-sleeper, which is right up against the bed. So bub is right next to me, but has her own space and blankets etc.

I loved the idea of co-sleeping and did it for 6 weeks, but in the end I found I slept better when she was in her own space.

I used to wake DH when I went to the loo...