won't sleep down

[nox]

my ds is just about 6 weeks old. in the past couple of weeks he won't sleep in his bassinet only when i wear him. at night, he will go to sleep in his bassinet from about 7pm or so. he has started to wake for feeds after midnight every 2 hours but prior to that he will need resettling (usually about an hour after being put down)/ this means i get no rest in the day as i am always holding him and sleep after midnight is scant.
when i talk to people they say that i am creating trouble by letting him sleep while i wear him and the only way to get him to sleep more at night is to let him cry... he is a bit gassey which is why he likes to be upright on me.
any thoughts? am i creating problems later on??

[Jayney]

Relax, Honestly I think we all do what ever we can. Some babies are angels and sleep and do all the right things. If you do not have one of those babies we just do whatever we can to cope. DD#1 was much easier (slept) DD#2 by 6 weeks old I was wearing her almost all day even to pee LOL and generally not sleeping much (more than 2 hours all night). What helped me was at 7 weeks I got a baby swing. She slept wonderful in the swing 5 hours at night. I worried about how I would get her to sleep when she was too big for the swing. (Actually I was too elated about getting sleep to care at the time and though I would deal with it later if it is a problem.) By then it was not a problem. She slept well and continues to.

I think the first few months -whatever it takes to get them to sleep so you can sleep (and cope). I think it is as they get older that you set more patterns for them to get used to (spoiled)

I told DH I am not coming home from the hospital until I have a swing. (Actually I think I will try the Amby baby hammock as it is meant for sleeping)

[Michelle71]

Nox - my little man is the same. During the day he won't sleep for long unless he is sleeping with or on me. He also wakes every 2 hours at night for feeding. I get my sleep by feeding him lying down - I sleep and he feeds, and by sleeping on the lounge with him in the morning (his best nap). I don't really have any advice, just a hug I know how it feels. They will sleep eventually

[nox]

thanks ladies that makes me feel better anyway!
jayney -- what kind of swing did you get? that's an interesting idea ...

[Emma1979]

i know how u feel... i spent months on the couch holding dd (who is now 6.5 months) while she slept... she had wind, reflux, who knows, but she was a terrible sleeper..... i used to have a great way of laying in bed slightly propped up and holding her, and it meant i could sleep as well.... it might be worth investigating different ways of wearing/holding bubs that will enable you to get some rest too.... i had a big long pregnancy pillow that i would fold in half like a triangle, and i used to lay on that in bed with her across my chest in the cradle position, and i slept... it was bliss.... just do whatever you have to do.... now she refuses to let me hold her or rock her, and i wish i had of treasured those moments of holding her while i slept instead of wishing them away, IYKWIM.... it will pass, he will eventually settle down and not be so gassy, it may take a while but it will happen.... when we transitioned dd into her cot for day sleeps there were tears involved, but lots of patting and shhhhing while she got the hang of it...

i can't speak highly enough of a baby swing though.... it was a LIFESAVER in those early weeks.... we put her in it from six weeks and sometimes it was the only place she would sleep..... i have a fisher price one that i got second hand, and even now when she is teething and wont sleep at all, she will sometimes doze off for half an hour in the swing.... i would definitely recommend getting one.... try to look for the older style where the baby when he gets bigger can't reach at the sides and stop the swing from swinging.... the new ones i see in the shops seem to be a bit flawed that way...

[Tashie]

Hi Sweetie, Do what ever you can to get through the days at this early age. I used to put my bub to sleep on the boobie until he was about 5 months old. He is now 7 months and I was able to change this habbit pretty easily. I just wanted him to learn how to sleep at night first.
Have you tried noise to help settle him? I find radio static to be excellent. Works a treat, especially when my little man is over tired.

[Erin_25]

Like everyone has said, just do what you have to at this early stage. One thing to remember when people tell you to let them cry, bubs is way too young for that & would not understand what was happening. It will get easier, I held Charlie everyday for what seemed like forever. Now I pop him in his cot, walk away & he puts himself to sleep...it takes time & doesn't always work. We use Music in his room (CD) during the day & the radio on not very loud at night. He seems to like the noise, he also is still wrapped @ 6months as he loves that too - whatever works. I too can not speak highly enough about the swings!!! I borrowed one & wish I had bought myself one & discovered them way earlier!! Will be getting one with bubs no2 that's for sure.

[Jayney]

I got one handed down. An old wind up one. It only ran for about 15 minutes per wind but that is all she needed. Even if she didn't fall asleep she would be happy. I think most any swing would do the same. Good luck!

[nox]

Thanks I have just got us a swing. He seems ok in it for about 10 mins but then he cries again. Perhaps it is just that today was all a bit much for him. I will of course keep trying. I am desperate for this to work!! Even 20 mins of him quiet in it would be bliss!!!! he was overtired I think when we tried to get him in. So maybe that was a factor!
Thank you for all the encouragement, as you know some days as worse than others.

[Peach]

I have a fisher price baby papasan swing, it was 180 on special and it is the best thing I have bought!! My DD loves it sometimes ... but sometimes nothing is subsitiute for a cuddle with mummy. My DD Always falls asleep on the boob. Some people might not think this is the bext way to go .. but it works for us!

[Peach]

oh and I never ever let my DD cry ... there are lots of BB articles on this ... some people will tell you you are making a rod for your own back ... but I think if your baby is crying he/she needs you have you tried co sleeping? I co sleep with my DD after she wakes up from about 2am onwards.

[nox]

My DS falls asleep on the boob as well. I used to feed in bed at night quite regularly but for some reason lately it has not been working for us -- I suddenly found it very uncomfortable and he wouldn't get as good a feed. So now I sit up to feed. There have been time though where I have gone back to that and he will settle for a bit sometimes. I also often do the 5am feed siting in bed and we both fall asleep that way for an extra hour.
It is more that in the day he won't leave my arms, which is both good and bad! I am hoping for the best with the swing. I prob won't know how effective it is until the week starts, as the weekends are always another story with DH around and all ...

[Campari]

Hey nox,
I know its been a few weeks since you posted this, but I just wanted to say that my DD (9wks) does EXACTLY the same - during the day I can only get her to sleep on her own for about 5 - 10 minutes, then she wakes up and cries. I can resettle her, and she'll go back for another 5 minutes. I can choose to do this all day, or otherwise just let her sleep on me, which she will do quite happily for two hours!! It got to the point where I just let her sleep on me, as its too stressful and tiring going to her constantly, and I don't want to leave her crying. Some days I was spending the entire day just trying to get her to have some "quality sleep"... I hope its a phase. Is your DS still doing it? Did the swing work? My DD was great at day sleeps up til about 6wks - she would do two hours or more at a time. So I have had a taste of the good life, and I want it back!!!

Nights are very similar to yours too - she will do her 6-7 hours unbroken sleep from about 7pm, then wake regularly after that (at which point she sleeps on my tummy again...)

Slings haven't worked cause she wriggles too much and gets distressed. She'll sleep in a pouch while I am on a walk, but I can't walk all day !!

Let me know how you are getting on... I'm thinking of you!

Rhi

[nox]

Hi Rhi,

Yes the swing does work ... it isn't the fixit all but it works. I can get 15 mins or so without him in my arms. Sometimes if I get the timing right, he has fallen asleep on it -- once for 2 hours. I feel terrible when I plonk him in it, but hey, if it works, it works and I can't carry all day!
Now that he is close to 9 weeks too, I have got him sort of sleeping in the day. In the morning he is so tired that I can usually get him to sleep for 45 mins. Same in the afternoon although right now for example, he woke after 45 and I have just resettled him down. I have heard that 45 mins is a sleep cycle. It doesn't seem to matter if I wrap his arms in or out or any combo of that.
At night, he is no longer sleeping 6 hours or so. He now will do 4 hours, 3 hours, 2 hours then 1 hour (I settle to get another hour no feed) and then to bed with me sometimes an extra hour or even 2.
While it is still really hard, I feel better. Mostly because it is a relief to have him out of my arms for even half hour at a time, as I am sure you understand! I still 'wear' him quite a bit, but now we do our morning walking with the pram.

Let me know how you are going.

[{sarah}]

The first 3-6 months is all about survival IMO, we do what we can to get by!

As another suggestion, because he likes being upright, have you tried raising the head of his bassinet? You can put the legs on some phone books or put a pillow UNDERNEATH th mattress to raise his head. Might make him a bit more comfortable if he's not happy lying flat on his back.

[*LovemyKids*]

I think that i am a creater for making problems for myself. First DS would fall asleep in the swing until he was too big for it about 8 months. Then i would breastfeed him to sleep. When he turn one and i decided that i had had enough of bf then that was it. He would fall asleep on his own. Its not as hard as everyone makes out. Once YOU are ready you can do anything, that is my opinion.
My second Ds had a dummy while a newborn. He then started to army crawl at about 6 months and he would spit it out everywhere and it used to get really grubby so i took it off him. I thought that the dummy would be the hardest thing to take off him but again I was ready and it was easy.
Hope this helps
I say you will deal with it when YOU are ready and until then do whatever works for you.

Nikki

[nox]

yes i have the bassinet raised at the end. hard to tell if it works or not. it is pretty challenging at the moment again. i have tried a dummy he's n ot into it so i let it go although i re try every so often. at night he is happy to bf to sleep and at night he settles better. even during the day sometimes he is totally ok about self settling if i leave him be. today is another story, but i guess that is the challenge ... every day is different! i can't get him to calm down, i have fed, changed etc with him and he is screaming to the high heavens! i have taken temp and it's ok as well. have popped him in the swing and that seems to give me some peace for a sec ... opps there he is!

[Campari]

hey nox,
just wanted to let you know that today my DD slept in her own bed during the day, for two lots of 1 hour!!! That was a massive record... she hadn't done that in so long. I had spoken to a nurse at the CHC, and she thought maybe it was colic - with the tummy pains waking her up if she was lying on her back. If she is sleeping tummy-down on me (on my tummy or chest), then the pain isn't bad as the pressure + warmth helps relieve their pain, so that's why she always stopped crying when I let her sleep on me. SOOOO, I gave her some brauers colic relief before her feeds today, and it really worked - she self-settled and slept for an hour in her cot. Brilliant. I am going to seriously look at my diet and see what could be making her so gassy.... Does your DS bring his legs up and tense his little tummy when he cries if lying down? The nurse said its normal for this to occur about 1 - 1.5 hours after a feed, which is when the milk goes through their bowels etc. The timing for me always corresponds to nap time. Not sure why she is OK at night, but maybe its because I am eating something for breakfast that isn't good?? Will let you know what I do. For starters I will cut out the Sultana Bran