Scared husband

[J-LO]

I have been wanting to have a baby for so long. I work with children everyday, and at times I get a little depressed that I dont have any children of my own yet.

My husband and I have been talking about having a baby. We have sort of set a date to start TTC. But he keeps changing his mind saying we cant afford it (we bought our home 6mths ago). I want to take off 6mths before going back to work 3 days a week. He is freaking out that we wont be able to afford our mortagage and living expenses etc once we've had a baby and I cut back my hours at work. I think we will be fine. We are paying double our repayments as is. Not to mention any payrises he may get. Dont get me wrong, I know he wants kids, he actually wants more kids then I do! He's an accountant and is just so consumed by numbers!

But when is the right time?
What advice does anyone have for me or for my husband?

Thanks for letting me off-load!

[Eenee]

gotta love accountants hey! My Dh's brother is an accountant and yeah so all about money. my DH was the same and just concerned about moneyand being able to afford kids but I worked on him and he came around in the end although he doesn't want as many kids as I do for that reason.

[Calluna]

Personally I don't think there is ever a "right time", but you do sound like you're fairly well set up.

No advice for your hubby sorry, but I'm sure someone more useful will be along shortly.

Hope you can talk him around soon. The waiting sucks.

[tellytubby]

A friend once told me, if you wait until you are able to afford to have a family - you will never have one

Yes they are expensive, but everything falls into place, and you don't regret it for one second x

[buffy1]

TT exactly the advice we were given - in fact, that's what changed my DH's mind.

JLo hi, and good on you for posting about this. I don't know if we're ever really ready for kids, financially or otherwise. But when it happens, I think you just make it work - whatever budget you're on. We're also lucky in Oz to have access to family benefits/assistance including Paid Parental Leave, FTB, Child Care Rebate etc.

There are ways to make it work if it's what you both want. And think about the reward!!

Best of luck, hope you're holding a beautiful (priceless) bub in your arms soon xxx

[starangelk]

Accountants can be so conservative in nature I think it would help if you got involved in the numbers and showed him your calculations and asked him where you are going wrong as you think you can afford it. He might just not be on the same page as you and his desire to have kids is totally there so I think you guys will be TTC very soon. GL!

[Marley&Me]

A friend once told me, if you wait until you are able to afford to have a family - you will never have one

Great way to look at it, me and my Hubby are trying and I had the same dillema, but it was me freaking out. It can take up to 12 months for a healthy couple to conceive anyway. We have been ttc fir 18 months so far, (but we have a few problems).

good luck, hope he comes around

[J-LO]

Thank you everyone for all your advice.
I have been trying to show him how I plan on saving money in the long term- such as using cloth nappies and wipes, the baby furnature and clothes are all coming from family and friends (which they have already started giving to us), and buying second hand items where possible. I know so many short cuts to setting up for a baby, being in the career path I am in (childcare 9yrs). But as always that Accountant's hat is on!
I feel like I am at pulling at strings with him.... but he is fully convinced about trying for a baby when he's a bit tipsy! LOL!