here we go again

[LG]

Hi all,
Well i haven't been seen around in these forums for awhile, but i used to be a regular - and got a lot of support and information in here in the past.
Here's the run down. I was diagnosed with PCOS when TTC #1, and fell pregnant after 8 months TTC on clomid. I had a beautiful son, Evan in 2005. Disappointingly, it still took 6 cycles TTC on clomid to fall pregnant #2, but I finally caught that egg and gave birth to Zac in 2007.
I have had 2 lovely births in a private hospital with a private Ob and midwife (midwife is a personal friend who also delivered both boys). I had no pain relief or intervention, and was extra excited to facilitate Zaccy do the breast crawl and self attach to my breast minutes after birth. I breastfed Evan for 2 years, and Zac is nearly 1 and showing no signs of weaning anytime soon! I am a counsellor with ABA and also the SA project officer for breastfeeding friendly workplace accreditation.
So now DH and i have decided to TTC for #3, and have got my script for clomid (and provera which starts my cycle). There is one big hurdle. DH and i disagree on how we will birth. I REALLY want to home birth #3 (if there is a #3 of course). And he is dead against it - i THINK (although he's not a big talker) he is worried about the cost (which is no more than an Ob, but his answer to that is to go to a birth centre, pop baby out and come home next day - nearly as good as being home), and i THINK he is worried that the flood gates will open and i'll start pushing for the boys to be there, for my sister to attend (a point of discussion last time - i wanted her there, he didn't. she wasn't - well wasn't time in the end anyway!)... oh i don't know really. But he wants me to agree to NOT push him in to a home birth BEFORE we TTC.
The birth is really important to me. But is it more important than having #3?? i don't know where it fits on my priority scale TBH, but i feel really strongly about wanting this. Mind you, considering i'm not actually pregnant and getting pregnant has never been simple or quick and easy, it all probably sounds a bit silly even having these conversations yet!!
Does anyone have any similar issues? Can anyone offer some perspective??
Oh and one other thing - how long after taking 7 days of provera should AF arrive? i can't remember? is it like a week?
Looking forward to getting to know all you other TTCer's and starting the journey again.
Thanks
Linds x

[rufalina]

Hi hun! Long time no chat... It is great to see you here. Not sure I can help with your questions... But I recommend taking it in baby steps with DH ... I think the Business of Being Born doco has helped out a few girls in discussing home births with their DH's...

Wishing you all the best in TTC3, and in wining DH over to that homebirth.

[LG]

Hey Ruf! Wow Congrats on a little boy!!!!!!!!
Thanks for your reply. yeah the business of being born is a great doco. Unfortunately, DH won't watch it. He says he's not interested. He liked the way the boys came in to the world and why can't we just do that again. The old man thing - if it ain't broke, don't fix it
I LOVED each birth with the boys, don't get me wrong. I just feel like i'm in a great position for a HB, and this is my last chance to possibly experience snuggling down with my new born baby in my own bed in my own home after birth iykwim. I love the idea!

[lilmisshavachat]

Hi LG..
Good luck in TTC#3... I think that life is about experiences and that if this is what you really want do then you have to go after it... I think you may have to negotiate with DH over conditions that he will let you HB.. Maybe you need to agree not to have the boys there or your sister if that's what he wants.. a little give and take if you are willing.. Can you trade with him... If he is dead set against you having a HB then maybe you have to push him to provide facts to you as to why it is better in hospital... If he is researching to prove you wrong the facts point to proving you right for safety and comfort and that's win win... I hope you can sway him because the more advocates for the safety and naturalness of HB the better off we will be as a nation and species... Good luck LG...

[rufalina]

Thanks Hun. I am loving being a mum and cant wait for no 2!!!..
Have you seen this thread, with good discussion of talking through homebirth with DH's... here.... . The girls there might be able to help you out too. Cause, if it is something you reallllllllly would like to try out, then we need to help you get DH on the page. xo