Question - Should I be worried?

[Zion]

Hey guys, just a quick (probably very silly) question thats been on my mind as of late. I've already asked this to a couple of people, but neither were 100% positive with their answer so I thought I might try somewhere else.

Ok well here's the story. My friend has been having unprotected sex with another guy (not me) for a few months now, and having him pull out before ejaculation everytime (yes, im aware pregnancy is still very much possible). While she was 6-7 days late with her period, her and I engaged in unprotected sex (I pulled out well, well before ejaculation), and I just found out she's gone a further 1.5 weeks of being overdue, which brings her up to 2.5 weeks total. I assume this is a decent sign that she may be pregnant.

My question is: since she was already late when we had intercourse, what are the chances, if any, that she may be pregnant off me and not the other male.

Thanks for your time and help!

[Mildez]

If her period was already late then its unlikely your the father of her baby if she is pregnant. If her period cycle is irregular ( meaning if the time between her period from month to month varies) then the fact her period is late may not be a reliable indication. Because you have had sex with her before a pregnancy is confirmed then I would say you can't rule yourself out completely as being a possible father of the baby (if there is one) but I would say the chances are slim and its more likely the other male is the father. An early ultrasound done before 12weeks pregnancy might give you more reassurance that the baby isn't yours as it will give you the measurement of the baby and the likelyhood of when it was conceived.

[Spring Angel]

I agree, it is unlikey that you are the father if her period was already late.

But hey, pregnancy is the least of your worries, what about STD's, HIV, AIDS?

Wack a condom on and you don't have to worry about any of that stuff.

Spring

[LimeSlice]

Hi Zion I think the chances of you being the father or any child i this instance are fairly slim.

She may not be pregnant at all. If she is indeed 2.5 weeks late, she should do a test and find out for sure.

As for the withdrawal method - Spring is spot on! How many other guys is this girl sleeping with - unprotected?? Herpes, hepatitis, HIV...there are several STIs you could now be carrying around with you too - I certainly hope you aren't having unprotected sex with anyone else!
Seriously, have a hard long thin about 2 things - 1. why oh why are you sleeping with a girl who is sleeping with at least one other guy (do you like sloppy seconds??) and 2. why on earth would allow yourself to risk getting someone pregnant and contracting a very serious disease yourself?

Sorry if that sounds like something your mum would say, but seriously, you are talking about a girls life, and the life of a new human being. How that life comes into the world is important and deserves more than your casual post-coital concern.

Good luck, I hope you can find yourself a steady girlfirend who isn't sleeping with 5 other people.

[Zion]

Thanks for all your prompt replies. So the overall answer is that its unlikely, but I'm not 100% ruled out - pretty much what I was thinking beforehand. Always good to get numerous opinions. I guess I have to wait until she is ready to get tested and find out whether or not she is actually pregnant, and go from there.

As for all your concerns regarding STD etc, both this girl and myself have been tested earlier this year so this whole incident was relatively risk free in that regard. Her and this other male have been in an 'on and off' relationship for a while now, and she has told me that she hasn't been sexually involved with anyone else apart from us two. Ofcourse I know this should be taken with a grain of salt, but I do trust her.

This whole thing happened at a party, where alcohol was involved. Stupid I know. But I guess I needed a scare like this to stop anymore of this happening in the future.

Thanks again.

[Lulu]

Oh Zion dear, she may have been clear earlier this year - but was the other guy she is sleeping with?

[Trillian]

And how many other women is the other guy sleeping with? If I were you I would do the smart thing and both get tested again because you really shouldn't be going unprotected when there are numerous partners involved. And I agree that it is unlikely you are the father if she is indeed pregnant. There is also a bigger picture too of how would you feel if you weren't the father and how you will deal with your relationship and all that.

[touchthespindle]

1. why oh why are you sleeping with a girl who is sleeping with at least one other guy (do you like sloppy seconds??) and 2. why on earth would allow yourself to risk getting someone pregnant and contracting a very serious disease yourself?

I think Zion was coming in here looking for some opinions on what were the chances of being the father of this child not to be lectured. I for one take offence to this comment because what happens in Zion's life is personal after all you don't know their circumstances!!

Being a "sloppy second" wasn't their issue and it's an unfair comment.

Best of luck Zion. I hope things work out for you the way you hoped and if she is pregnant I hope that you will continue to be supportive.

spindle

[LimeSlice]

I really couldn't care less that you were offended, Touchthespindle.

Zion is a big boy and I'm sure if he has a problem he can speak with me directly about it.

As for my response, that is also none of your business. However, the comment I made is not unfair at all, it is the truth. And for the record, anyone careless enough to sleep with multiple partners unprotected is careles enough to catch something. Therefore Zion is in a prime position to pass that on to some other poor unsuspecting female. NOT OK.
Did you know that he can pass on any number of STIs without any knowledge that he has them? That it can take years for some forms of STI to even show up on a test?
That the HIV infection rate of 18-24 yer olds has jumped something like 20% in the last 15 years?

So yeah, it is worthy of a lecture, because it is a damn dangerous and careless thing to put yourself in that position with no thought for consequence. Being pregnant would be the least of his or her worries.

[touchthespindle]

Hmmmm limeslice what a real **treat** you are

I didn't come here for a lecture either. This is supposed to be a supportive environment. It is NOT the place for crass talk or pulling one statistic you probably got off some medical journal which has no strength or weight.

I couldn't care for your comment

Zion is obviously a "big" boy and can handle indeed your horrible comments and he'll probably never be back here again. I wouldn't be either if I was treated like that.

Zion did state he had made a mistake. Can't you just leave it alone? You don't have to jump on your moral high horse.

GUESS WHAT.....YOUR NOT PERFECT EITHER!!!!

As a medical professional with masters degrees in many areas, I was hoping that this forum would be somewhere that I could help others and be supportive. You have just ruined all my hopes of that for this forum if you are that insensitive towards some who just "Asks a Question".

Go and enjoy your slice..........

[Lulu]

Oh come on spindle, settle down a bit.
You don't have to jump to Zion's defence, and if you would like a nice supportive environment it might be an idea to help create that yourself in your own posts as well.

Although it was delivered in typical Lime style, there were several great points made and although you might not like it all those little green boxes to the right on Limey's header indicate that a whole heap of people like the things she has to say.

It's good with a forum - if you don't like something you can click off....

[Me+him+bub]

I dont think Limeslice got it from a shotty journal, I too have completed 4 years of uiversity and am a health proffessional and have worked in sexual health, and yes it can take years to eventuate in some instances. Just look at me! the reason i was unable to concieve for 2 years is due to an std i contracted from my own partner! he had no idea he had it! so it does happen!

Zion - You sound like an intelligent man and I wish you all the best in regards to your situation. Just live and learn

[LimeSlice]

For those who are interested RE the statistics. I was incorrect in my previous post.

I cannot find the exact data for 18-24 y/o bracket, however the total diagnosis rate has increased by over 50% between 1997 and 2008.
In 1997 there were 645 people diagnosed with HIV in Australia.
In 2008 that number had risen to 973.

That is an increase of 50.85%

these statistics come from AVERT - an international HIV/AIDS charity

27% of new diagnoses in 2008 were through HETEROSEXUAL contact ( a mere 3 % through intravenous drug use) This rate is second only to the rate of infection among gay/bisexual men.


And from the Australian Federation of AIDS Organisations, who coordinate the annual HIV Surveillance Data from the UNSW every year.

9 September 2009
New HIV infection data shows need for continued investment in HIV prevention by all governments

The release today of the official 2009 Annual HIV Surveillance Data shows that HIV infection rates have plateaued in Australia over the last year.

The new research, released by the National HIV Research Centres at the University of NSW indicates that the number of HIV diagnoses in 2008 was 995, compared to 1,051 in 2007.

"While these new figures do not yet constitute a trend. reaching a plateau is preferable to the continuing increases we have had over the last decade," said Don Baxter, Executive Director of the Australian Federation of AIDS Organisations (AFAO).

[Inanna]

Zion it sounds like you realise the implications of unprotected sex - especially where alcohol is added to the factor.

STI's are insidious little things that can be notoriously slow to grow and eventuate. Be very careful.

The fact is if you have had unprotected sex there is a chance each time of a child being conceived. You need to enter into your sexual liasons with this full knowledge.

I hope that you haven't fathered a child this time - and it is great that you have stepped out of your circle and asked for advice. Well done!

As for all the responses - You don't need a degree in anything to know the basics that unprotected sex = likelihood of pregnancy & disease...

Remember Zion "if its's not on - it's not ON!!!!!