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Sally - The only help I get here is he`ll dry the night dishes but it took me over 3 years to get him to do that, oh and he`ll pack the dishwasher for me, for some reason I hate packing it!!!! Other then that he will not do anything at all, yes right down to taking the bins out and cutting the grass. Unfortunately he also doesn`t spend his free time with me or the boys which does upset me :cry:
:yeahthat::
Pffffffft, yeah right.
It's like I've committed a crime just by asking.
I had enough, broke down and everything and DP stil cant see how much of a lazy ass he is.
He takes the rubbish out and does the lawns but thats it. He has only ever once changed a nappy. He never baths the kids. He leaves his clothes where he takes them off and shoes too. If i ask for help all i get is "i go to work"
I dont expect help all the time but maybe helping out watch the kids while i cook or maybe watch them in the bath or unpack the dishwasher. Better yet put your dirty stuff in it when ur finnished with it. He has never looked after the kids alone. He holds DD for 10 mins and thats it.
my DH is away at work anywhere from 5 to 10 days at a stretch, so our house keeping routine is, well, anything but routine!! i maintain everything while he's away, and when he's home, he does a hell of a lot. because it's only me at the moment most of the time, there isn't a lot of washing etc - he understands that i struggle to move baskets around with wet clothes, and to hang stuff out, so washing gets done between us when he's home. he will mow (i've been forbidden to do it after five angel babies), but i will get out and weed the gardens and prune things - this tends to happen more when he's home cos we do it together.
cooking - i will cook up massive batches of food while he's away - just choose a day and cook to my hearts content - then freeze meals for him to take. when he's home, he either cooks (he loves it) or we cook together. it's fairly rare for me to cook dinner when he's home (lunches are more my domain!). DH will load and empty the dishwasher and do the dishes without prompting, and last night went and picked tomatos to make sauce, apples for stewed apples, and some peaches - just took himself into the kitchen and came back when it was on cooking to tell me what was happening!
i can't complain about DH and how much he helps out - he is more domesticated than most guys i know. there is nothing he won't do, but he does ask me to look after the money side of things - no biggie there!
i think when Gremlin comes along, he'll do as much as he can - obviously if i bf, he can't help with that - but he's been talking to me at length about how to best set up the nursery for convenience for both of us, what we should put where so that it's easy to get to etc...
My DF does heaps, cleaning, cooking & caring for DS but he isn't working at the moment so he has the time. When he was working he did the washing, cooking on the nights he was home and all outside work.
The thing that bothers me is when i was working a 9-5 job i still had same responsibilities. Before the kids DP would cook 1 night a week and maybe a BBQ on weekends. Help with cleaning everynight we'd take turns washing or drying dishes.
Once our 1st baby came he was all excuses with bubs. He's too small to bath, i have a weak stomach i cant change him, i breast feed for 3 months so i got i cant feed him then it was he doesnt like it when i feed him, he likes you to put him to bed, he doesnt like me he wont go to me... Blah blah. Then cos i was home all the house hold stuff was done. (being only 18 everyone said i would fail and need help so i fought to do EVERYTHING without anyones help) Then i started part time work and still no help (i mean nothing except the bins to the curb and mowing the grass... oh and he does a bad job too) He doesnt even take his plate out after dinner.
Now after 2nd bubs i'm struggling to fit things in and sleep is minimal. I asked for help and i get "well you did ok with DS, or "i go to work"
Yes he does work so i can stay home but the way i see it if i was in a paid job i would be Child care worker or Cleaner. DP wonders why there isnt US time but if i got a hand every now and then i would have US time and ME time aswell... Its just being in a partnership. Yes some days i can do it all myself Others could it hurt to give me a hand.
I do most of it....he will wash the dishes when hes home (shiftworker). But then again im a SAHM, he works two jobs, one as a firefighter, other job running his own motorbike business which allows me to stay at home in the first place. So i kinda think it is my job to run the house so to speak. But in saying that, if i do need help at any one time, he is always there.
......mine did this too, he left all his stuff in the bathroom (like its soo much effort to toss them in the washing basket in thebedroom- the next room). SO i just didnt wash his clothes...he soon complained when he had NO UNDIES for work. But im sorry, if he cant pick up his dirty socks and undies and put them in a bloody basket, them frankly he doesnt deserve for them to be washed....NOW, they get put in the basket every time.....;):
He leaves his clothes where he takes them off and shoes too.
I did alot of the work around the house ... about two years back his sole responsibility was to SHARRAP!!!!! That's it. I would do EVERYTHING, but he is not allowed to say a word, moan or critisised (sp)
NOW I feel we have a good balance. He does the garden (could be nicer) takes out the trash, BBQ twice a week, shower with dd, put dd to bed. He even started dinner last night :o on his own!! He still does not throw his papers in the bin or his clothes in the wash, but that does not bother me anymore .. picking up stuff has become a speciality with me, having kids and all.
I'm old fashioned .. I believe that if you are a SAHM, it's your job to look after the kids and the house. It's the man's job to bring home da bacon - BUT that does not mean that he can't help out now and then ... out of his own accord .. or just say that he SEES what you are doing and that you are doing a good job and are a good mommy/wife/lover/friend/woman. I feel that 90% of women would not mind doing 100% of the work if they get the recognition for it .. and the odd bunch of roses ;)
I don't have a DP but he will have a lot to live up to with my dad for an example! As a child, Mum was a SAHM, dad always did the lawns and stuff though, I have never seen my mum use the mower! When I was in highschool, they bought a post office (where dad worked all his life) and ran it together - at that point my dad started doing alot more.
They are now retired and dad still helps with loads of washing, vaccuuming and he actually irons! Yep they have ironing boards, mum does the 'hard stuff' at one and he does the 'easy stuff' at the other!
He also always buys mum flowers and gifts and cards for all celebrations! He is rare and hard to match.
Hell no, am I'm super jealous reading about all the one's that help.
DF even classes Bella as a bit of a chore too :rolleyes:, don't think there's been a day where he has actually held her in his arms for more than 5 minutes. He even watched me on crutches, 8 months pg and packing to move into our new home.
OK, nuff said, me thinks u get the pic - he's mega lazy...
My DP is pretty good. We both cook and all that, after dinner one of us deals with the boys and bedtime, while the other cleans up. DP usually does the bath and bedtime deal and I clean up, then come help him when I'm done. It works well.
I feel lucky to have someone that helps out.
xox
My DP is a gem! He changes nappies, baths DS every night, will help out during the night and with any chores, especially if I have had a not so good day :D. I really appreciate everything he does, he is a wonderful man.
my DP doesnt do much, but he works 6 days a week so i dont expect it. i see it as he does his job, i do my job (house stuff). hes good at his job and brings home $$, im good at my 'job' and the payment is a beautifully clean house, clothes, food...which makes both of us happy.
since ive been pg DP has helped by doing the following:
dishes once a week...but i usually end up redoing half of them...they get all streaky and stuff when he does them
carries out washing basket and helps me hang washing on line/bring it in (still trying to teach him to peg under the arms though...most my shirts come in with peg marks in the middle of the boob area when hes done the pegging LOL)
takes out rubbish to bin and puts on bins on bin day
our lawn for some reason just doesnt grow...weve been renting this place for almst a yr and have only mowed it once...so just before rent inspections he and his brother do a quick weeding.
DP just inst any good at housework...he genuinly tries sometimes but i just dont think his cleanliness standards are as high as mine...but thats fine cause im sure i couldnt do his job very well at all.
so it works for us :)
i have to say i feel a bit sheepish because my DP is very good to me, he does the dishes as well as cleaning out my car. he is on a mission to rid the house of ants at the moment. he's definately a keeper:dance:
We must be the lucky ones Butterfly_warrior, my husband is fantastic and does most of the work as well. I never feel 100% and am always very run down and he is fantastic!:
Love him to bits :loveshower:
My DH does heaps as well. Sometimes I think he does more than me lol.
My Dh does so much around the place.. but so do i..
we both think we do more then we should and both think we need a longer rest or 'free time " then the other... but it wont happen.
i wouldnt have married someone who cant hold thier own in the housework department.. i think its unfair that any part of a partnership wouldnt want to help the other partner..
but then again.. some days i wish i was the type of woman that could do it all for him.. i love that he provides for us financially i wish i could provide completely in the household..
My DF & I actually share EVERYTHING.. we share the cleaning, the cooking, kids, etc etc
We do have certain thing's which are just his or just mine i.e bins are HIS, but toilets are MINE.. Kitty Litter is HIS, food shopping is MINE....
So yep he does..but really we share everything. We are a TEAM and we both know when one of us stop's doing their share, it really affect's us all in a very negative way..so we dont get away with it really!!! lol
But in saying that, i have to deal with all the outside world stuff.. DR'S, APPOINTMENTS, BILLS, LAWYERS, INSURANCE,PHONE CALLS, CREDITORS ETC ETC - ANYTHING EXTERNAL lol