Blizz - looks good...
Joy - just checking on you..hope you're hanging in there ok..
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Blizz - looks good...
Joy - just checking on you..hope you're hanging in there ok..
Hey everyone,
Lieve, are you still around?
Joy - hope everything is ok, haven't heard from you in a while....
Tarkine, so sad to hear about a tragedy in the family. Hope you are able to find peace. How goes the pregnancy?
Hey Blizz - thanks for your help and understanding over the past week. How goes the renovations? Is Paige whizzing around on the bike? Hope you are feeling recharged. Not sure what you mean about the changes??? Honestly I must be blind...
Hi Minnie - hope things are travelling well for you.
Well, after a completely horrid week, I feel a lot better because I have typed/referenced everything that has been happening for the past year. Now I can let go of it until next week and concentrate on other things.
After taking the dog to the vets tomorrow (he keeps biting his tail, for some reason) I go to the clinic, pay for and pick up everything. Round one here we come.
Hey Gargy, I am so excited for you...go round one!!!!!
I am sure things will work out this week you have done all you can possibly do to this point.
Paige hasn't been outside today, but she isn't keen on the pedals on her new bike (they don't go as fast as feet on the ground apparently)
I have customised the coloure of my public profile it is now purple and yellow, although I have just re-edited with a slightly less vibrant shade of yellow it was a little in your face before me thinks (I was just bored last night really)
rennovations are slowing we have ceilings to paint and I keep going over in my mind...should I ? or shouldn't I ? (I know I shouldn't be climbing a ladder especially when nobody but Paige is here with me, so I am thinking i will leave it for DH when he gets home on Wednesday night.
the rest of the building will probably start next week (late next week I hope)
How are all of our DC lovelies we have been a tad quiet in here of late, hope we are all still cruising along quite happily?????
Oh dear oh deary me....
Watching 'Private practice' - it's my indulgence - watch it if it's on...generally not very serious etc...
Anyway - guess what the subject is tonight?
Yep, you guessed it - azoospermia!
And, miraculously, the husband can decide in 2 seconds to use donor sperm.
Yeah right! :rolleyes:
ETA: oh, and now they are using the BIL - cause he instantly agreed - this is getting better and better! :rofl:
Oh, ok, reality check has kicked in - they want to do a biopsy!
(hopefully this is not offending - I just can't get over how my life - and probably all our lives - have been reduced to a mainstream plotline!!):wall:
see where you are coming from Gargy......:ROFL:guess they have to fit it in to the time slot some how
been in live chat for a while but bubbas causing havock using my insides as a jumping castle, off to lie down me thinks....night hon..will have to catch up soon
:hello: everyone
Gargy - not much news here.. just plodding along - met my midwife - 19 years experience, dry sense of humour, same belief system as me, so I feel really comfortable with her.
Blizz - naughty naughty even thinking about climbing a ladder - although I too would be keen to finish the painting - going to spend this weekend painting!!
have had a productive evening, finally figured out my MIL's sewing machine (I inherited it) and have made 5 polar fleece tri-pillow covers 1 for Paige, 1 for Angus and 2 for sheppydog and one spare long story made short, Sheppy has taken over Paiges tri-pillow but Paige isn't ready to relinquish it even to her most adored puppy dog and no way is Angus getting it apparrently so now ALL of the children have their OWN tri-pillows.
my next job will be to make Angus his own taggie blankets as again I really don't see Paige giving up any of hers (she takes the three that I've made her to bed every night)
Had a bizzare day today it was the first day Paige went to daycare and I didn't.....I was more than a little lost I went shopping (well mostly I went waddling) and made it to 2:45 before I thought.....nope that's enough....I'll go and get her now!!!!...how pathetic is that?
Did end up running in to a friend and we had lunch which was nice.
Hi Everyone
Sorry I haven't been on here for a while!! Things are going well with me! We are nearing the end of the TWW... blood test is on Friday! We are looking forward to finding out either way!! You can get yourself into quite a 'tizzy' thinking if your pregnant or not and if you have the symptoms!! and if you do have the symptoms it can be the Pregnal injections anyway!! We are thinking positive & hoping for that BFP!!!
Sorry cant stay long but will let you all know how Friday goes :pray: for good news!!!
:grouphug:
Blizz,
Making pillows sounds like an enterprising day! Can understand feeling lost taking Paige to daycare and being at home. Glad you got to go shopping though!
Yay - good to hear from you Joy!
Glad things are going ok...
oh Joy,:goodluck: good luck my sweets, I'll be thinking of you on Fri (have you given in to POAS yet????????) let us know how you get on ooooohhhh the TWW is just the hardest isn't it?????:noaf::bluecheer::cheer::bluedust::pink-babydust:
Well I have been playing domestic godess today (don't worry Gargy and Tarkine I didn't over do it and definately no painting or ladder climbing involved)
have done a zilion loads of washing out in my temporary laundry in the covered area on the deck (bless DH) I have vacummed and started to tidy, then I baby sat my nephews for a couple of hours and they ran amuck with Paige through the house and on the deck so I have just finished re-cleaning the lounge room and Paige's bedroom and have snuck in here for a quick quiet moment while Paige is watching Playschool.
I have worked fairly solidly and there is still sooooooooooo much left to do.
we have our local show on Friday so our happy little family will be attending this to see the baby animals and trying to persuade Paige that she isn't big enough for some of the rides in side show alley and to spend a zillion dollars on dodgy battered savs and show bags that break the minute you open them.....can't wait should be fun, my work friend who is also PG is coming with us with her niece (and Paiges best friend) so at least we can waddle around together except that this is her first and she doesn't seem to be waddling anywhere near as much as me....
well no other news DH is home tonight so i may not be around alot for the next few nights as we will be madly trying to get our laundry ready for the cupboard skins to be built in on Thursday.....aaaarrggghhhhh!!!!!...that's tomorrow!!!!!!!!!
oh well must go and cook tea take care all
:heartbeat:Allie xxxxxxxx
Wow blizz.. your making me tired just reading what your up to..
Joy - fingers crossed for you hun!!
Well I'd like to say that things have gone back to normal, but things are still really tough for DH - trying to finalise FIL's estate and deal with all the issues that come from when someone chooses to end their own life. Unfortunately he had a business, so there are the constant phone calls from creditors of the business wanting to know where their money is. Sometimes it would be nice if the world would stop spinning long enough to enable grieving to occur and people to catch their breath.
Take care everyone - will pop in when I can - all of my energy is going into supporting DH through this difficult time.
Tarkine, what a challenging time for you both it is hard to deal with estate matters normally let alone under stressful situations, I am thinking of you and hope that things will sort themselves out quickly for you
:heartbeat:Allie xxxxxxx
Blizz,
Re the ladder: good, because otherwise Tarkine and I will send the big hairy yowie bunyip to come and sort you out! :p
I agree with Tarkine - what a busy day!
Tarkine,
:grouphug: I couldn't even imagine what you and DH are going through. I hope you are both given time to grieve. All my blessings to you.
Hi Ladies
Blizz - I caved today and just did a pregnancy test! I was going to try and not do it but something just took over me and I HAD to do it!!! It came up with a faint positive sign. I am trying not to get my hopes up though... do you think the Pregnyl could still be in my system? I had my last shot of Pregnyl on Monday. We have our blood test tomorrow so I said to DH lets do another test tomorrow morning before we go. I am back at work now so want to try prepare myself for the results as best I can! If it is negative dont want to get upset at work - will save that for when we get home!!
You have been a very busy bee blizz! Make sure you dont overdo things!!
Tarkine - My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. :hug: Thinking of you
Gargy - How are things going? Is day 21 nearly here?
ooooooooohhhhhh honey, it sounds promising, I am not sure about the pregnyl but I will definately be keeping all of my fingers and toes crossed for you my sweet, good luck....I am sooooooo excited for you....It is so hard doing the waiting I'll check on you tomorrow to see how you get on.....
need to go and clean the fridge now.....NO I am not nesting!!!!!!! it is just disgusting and we have brought $80 worth of fruit and vegies this morning that I can't find a home for so now i am off to make them a home...wish me luck!!!!
Hi Joy,
Hope the faint lines come through and you get a big fat BFP!!
Just playing the waiting game at the moment - when I had the last blood test they told me that I was "still surging" ie I hadn't ovulated yet, so I am having another blood test on Monday (at 7.30 am on a public holiday :o)
So happy - the wall is fixed, the window is fixed and for a cheaper price than quoted. Mum and Dad did an excellent job helping me in the garage while my Nan minded my dog so he didn't escape. We had a nice lunch together too. Both the dog and cat had a marvellous time inspecting everything and both of them are crashed out on the lounge.
Just summoning up the energy to take the cardboard to the tip for recycling...
Hi all, Sorry I dropped out there for a while - I still check in EVERY day to follow your heartfelt posts, but haven't felt up to posting myself.
Joy08 - everything crossed for you today
gargy - sending positive vibes for a massive surge this weekend
blizz - you are SO nesting - pillows, fridge, stocking up on groceries...
tarkine - much strength to you and DH, you've got a lot on your plate. My DH also lost his father last year, they had a very bad relationship so that itself brought up a lot of unresolved feelings. And now being faced with not being able to conceive naturally, DH is having to revisit a lot of these issues. Not saying it's the same, but when it all happens at once it's a lot to deal with.
I wish i had seen Private Pratice this week though..it's important to be able to laugh about all this. It's been a very weird week for DH and me. He had to produce another sample this week but this time 'perform' at the hospital instead of doing it at home and then delivering it. After which he was very down, he actually said he felt 'humiliated'. Very upsetting for us both, because you don't see the point in still having to continue doing this after you've been told there's nothing there, and all the results are looking pretty bad. BUT, the nurse rang that same afternoon to tell us they found ONE sperm. And they've put it on ice! We're in a state of shock, we don't know what this means. Is it good news? does it mean if there's one there's two? is it in any kind of condition to be able to fertilise an egg? we dont want to get our hopes up, because it's so easy to come crashing down again, but how is it possible that they've found a single sperm when all the results say there shouldn't be anything. We're trying to get onto our FS for some answers.
:grouphug:
wow Lieve,
even finding one sperm has got to be better than finding none at least it gives you a bit more hope heading in to any further more invasive tests.
We knew that DH would have NO sperm as the condition that he had basically meant he hadn't developed at all in that area.
I am not going to kid you you are at the beginning of a very difficult challenge
unfortunately it takes a little while to get through the grieving process if you are indeed sterile, I have said before that the counsellor we saw equates the level of impact from this as being up their with loosing a child.
You have a lot of discussion to have and decisions to make,
what DH is feeling seems like the normal reaction that most of us have experienced with our partners be prepared for some degree of depression or DH going in to himself. Mine tried to tell me to leave him instead we got in to a counsellor and to be honest I think he didn't really come around to the idea until we saw our FS who was amazing and explained about the whole process and something clicked with DH and I think the whole journey took 6 months from diagnosis to starting assisted conception using IUI with donor sperm.
we are all thinking of you and holding your hands as you embark on this process.
I have absolutely NO regrets about taking this path in life I honestly couldn't see myself just giving up and saying 'well that's it then!!!!" and I have an absolutely amazing daughter who I love more intensely than I have loved anything in my life and another precious life about to join us in a matter of weeks and I honestly wouldn't change a thing, we are so much stronger as a couple and a family as a result of our experience to date.
I hope and pray that all of you in this thread find some of this happiness in you very near futures
you have all helped me from loosing my head and being able to talk about issues that I don't feel other people in my world can understand....who can understand properly unless they have walked in your shoes, I have met some amazing ladies who are walking my path though we may all be at different parts of the same path
thankyou to all of you for the support I get from this amazing thread
I love you guys.........:heartbeat:allie xxxxxxxx
Thanks Blizz, you're spot on about what your counsellor said about the grieving and it being up there with losing someone. We've been grieving solidly for the last 3 months ever since we found out, and I've never experienced anything quite like it. I used to think 'rollercoaster' was such a cliched term, but actually, there's no other way of describing it - oh, apart from of course the 7 steps of grief!!!! And in no particular order!:rolleyes:
I loved what you said about your intense love for daughter and your experience. Brought tears and smiles all at once. Emotionally, I've very highly charged these days that the tiniest thing sets me off! But what I want to say is hearing positive outcomes like yours does give it perspective, and stokes the fire to keep on going.
Joy honey.......are you out there?......not meaning to push but....hey dying to know!!!!!!!
hey Gargy.......how goes the surging????.......it's like waiting for your lotto numbers to come up isn't it??????
Hi Ladies
Well not good news I'm afraid. We got the results and it's :bfn: I am quite sad... really thought we were going to get a BFP. I guess the good thing is we have 3 frosties in the freezer so hopefully 1 of them will give us our BFP.
I know we will be ok... just a bit sad at the moment. Next step is if I dont get AF by Tuesday have to go for another blood test to make sure HCG levels have dropped. If I get it before Tuesday I guess I will call them to find out what we do now. I hope we can get on with things fairly quickly. Dont want to have to wait too long!!
:grouphug:
Joy
Oh, I'm so sorry Joy - I was writing as you were.
Definitely take your time and feel sad. It is a hard thing to hear.
Lieve,
I think that I may have ovulated - I had the chocolate craving, the NEED to clean, and have become very irritated with DH today - either that or I'm behaving normally :D
Fantastic news about the sperm!
I agree with Blizz about being at the beginning of a very difficult challenge. Whatever happens you and DH will be following a different journey to most in order to have a child.
Most of us have been through the emotional challenges as well. Going back through my journals and blogs (for work related reasons) I realised how much of a toll last year, and the beginning of this year, has been for us and our relationship. Grief definitely takes its toll.
Please remember that we are here and we will listen and support you whatever challenges you face.
We are still in the depths of this process but we still believe that we will have a child. I can't wait to be looking back at all of this and saying 'this was sooo worth it.' And if we don't have a child - well it still will have been worth it.
Blizz,
Right back at you! When I talked to BFS about BB, she said it was like an on-line support group. Some days it was DH, BFS and you all that were getting me through. So, love to you all - I would be lost without your support. :loveshower::
you have all helped me from loosing my head and being able to talk about issues that I don't feel other people in my world can understand....who can understand properly unless they have walked in your shoes, I have met some amazing ladies who are walking my path though we may all be at different parts of the same path
thankyou to all of you for the support I get from this amazing thread
I love you guys.........allie xxxxxxxx
Tarkine
Thinking of you...
As I said to Lieve - I think I've hit the PMS part of the cycle - I was adoring of DH a couple of days ago, today I could quite happily strangle him!
Luckily they have delayed the test until 9.15 am - so we get a bit of a sleep in.
Seeing my niece and nephews on Sunday - so I have said to DH that we need a sloth day tomorrow and a 'us' day on Monday. That's the plan anyway...
oh Joy, I am sorry to hear that, we too went through quite a few FET's before this one took, fingers and toes crossed that the next one will be the one.....:hug: hope you can get straight back in to it, take care of yourselves
*new photo's added (including a belly shot sorry I don't do tight tops so it doesn't look as big as it actually is)
Thanks Blizz - Can I ask how many transfers you had before you fell pregnant with Paige and with this pregnancy?
Thanks for your words to Gargy. Sometimes it just feels like you never get a 'break' in life! Oh well enough with the negative thoughts and time for positive.
Chat soon
:grouphug:
with Paige we did 10 try's at IUI with an unproven donor at this point my nephew was born with cystic fybrosis and my family were all tested I tested as a carrier of the CF gene along with one of my four brothers (father to my nephew) and since there were no records of whether my donor had been tested we decided to lessen the risk and switch donors,
The clinic must have decided that because we had been mucked around with an unproven donor that they would offer us ICSI on our first IVF treatment free of charge so I had 20 eggs collected (yes I was very uncomfortable) and of these 12 fertilised through ICSI
I had one fresh transfer put in and this didn't take and Paige was the result of our 1st FET.
we started trying again when Paige was 11mths old I had to wait for AF to return and stabilise after BF, we had been slowly whittling our way though our remaining 10 embryos and now have three remaining in storage.
It did seem to take us a lot longer the second time around we also had a miscarriage in Nov last year.
but everybody is different so I'll be hoping that you have my first experience and your next try will be the lucky one.
with love from Allie xxxxxx
I woke up with pains this morning as well and thought....no come on this is way to early!!!!....turned out it was gas!!!!!!:redface:
by the way does anybody have the number of the fairy that comes and waves her magic wand and finds a place for everything????????....even when you think you have no more space to spare??????????....I desperately need it now!!!!!!!!!!....my house is threatening to overfow with junk at the moment that I seriously CAN"T find a home for!!!!!!!:leap:
:ROFL::
by the way does anybody have the number of the fairy that comes and waves her magic wand and finds a place for everything????????....even when you think you have no more space to spare??????????....I desperately need it now!!!!!!!!!!....my house is threatening to overfow with junk at the moment that I seriously CAN"T find a home for!!!!!!!
When you find one, let me know!
Let me guess - you have braved the study again???
Joy - so sorry you got a BFN - it's so hard after all the had work and emotion. Good on you for looking onwards and upwards...it's the way to go.
Hope you're all enjoying the weekend...shame about the miserable weather in Sydney - but what can you do...
Hi Blizz
Thanks for sharing your experience. Did you get really upset each time you were not pregnant? I am so upset at the moment - just keep crying! DH is worried bout me! I think it's just such an emotional journey and your hormones are all over the place it's really hard taking the news that you are not pregnant! I have been thinking all day today... 'what if I can never get pregnant?' then that just starts me off crying again! Has anyone else ever had this thought? I really didn't think I would be this upset with a BFN. I know this will make me stronger and all that but just a little hard at the moment. AF turned up today so I am going to call the clinic tomorrow and find out what our next step is. Not sure if they would like us to wait until next month to do a transfer or if we will go straight into it this month.
Thanks for listening ladies... I dont know where I would be without your kind words and support!!!
p.s Blizz if you find the number for the fairy please send her my way!!
:grouphug:
Haven't even made it out of the lounge room/kitchen yet!!!!!:
I am in soooooo much trouble....one of the girls in another forum suggested that we should water our house's to see if they may grow a bit....I'll try anything at this stage.
I get frustrated to easily at the moment and give up and sit on the couch.
might have a go at it tomorrow arvo when DD is in Daycare and DH has headed back to work,
We haven't had a meal at the table as a family yet because I CAN"T FIND IT!!!!!! under all of the stuff that has been chucked on it since before and after I finished work.
goal for tomorrow....clear the table so we can have a sit down family meal on Saturday when DH gets home.
must admit plaster dust and building mess also getting me down....but it will be worth it in the end....Laundry is starting to look good and suprising what a modern update can do for a room it looks bigger and more organisable, the tiler is supposed to be in on Saturday so I guess I'll hold off on doing my last proper clean up till then, mind you still have plumber and electrician to come back as well as bench top and cupboard doors to go in so might hold off a while longer if I can stand it.
Oh honey firstly..........:hug: yes I to have been through this devestation when implants haven't taken, a couple of times at work which was really hard.
I think I just hardened myself to it with the attitude of oh well straight back in to it and I too would ring the clinic and say...what next for this month????
I think the hardest thing I've found is that through the whole process of IVF I have conditioned myself to expect the worse so that I won't be too devestated (it never really truely works though)
Another problem I have found is that in both of my PG's I have been waiting for things to go wrong again I think it was a hang up from the IVF processes so every time I go to the toilet I still check and expect to see (but still secretly hope not to see) something going wrong( I am getting a little better in the last part pf PG but still nervous IYKWIM
I think it is just the nature of IVF
jump back on the horse if they'll let you hon at least then YOU feel like you have some control in what is happening to you but don't forget to take a break for a cycle if you find it is getting to much it is amazing of what a month with out trying will do to give you a break from it all it is like a pressure is lifted but come the end of that month you are usually busting to get back in to things.
Does this make any sense????? It has been my experience to date.
Oh Joy, here's some more hugs :hug:
The last time when I found out the IUI hadn't worked in February I burst into tears at work and had a long talk with my manager about everything.
Yes I definitely have had that thought - what will happen if we don't have children? I have thought of different scenarios.
These thoughts are there - but for the moment I've shrugged them off and started the IVF round again.
I don't go straight back into things again mainly for my own grieving process, plus I generally have other things going on. But when I feel ready I get back up and start again.
Blizz,
Oh dear - you really have the cleaning bug! Here's hoping you find a place for everything!
Hey everyone,
Got the results back from the blood test this morning - I am where I should be now and will be starting Syranel tomorrow morning - probably at 6.30 am to tie in with work.
I'll let you know how I go.
wo-hoo honey good luck with the syranel
:hug: joy, my thoughts are with you.
Gargy - good luck with the syranel - I was a brain dead goldfish on syneral. I was talking with Dustry about this and she said there has abeen a range of reactions (and mine was about the worst!).. Trust me to go all out with the reaction to the drug!!
I think somewhere I read that eating an orange afterwards takes the taste away (worth trying).
Blizz.. can you come and clean my place? You cleaning demon you!! Hope the renos get sorted before Angus makes his arrival - my bet is on the 30th October!
Take care everyone - sorry haven't been around lately, but i have been popping in now and then to check on you all :)
Gargy - if you like a sleep in on the weekends...I suggest you re-assess the sniffing time. Has to be done the same time each day to prevent O and you really shouldnt be late. Just a suggestion. I do my needles etc at night and set my phone alarm for a daily reminder.
So glad you're starting....
Thanks Blizz, Tarkine and MM.
Tarkine - I hope I don't become a brain dead goldfish!
MM its easier at 6.30 - any later and I may forget. I'll just get up, do it then go back to sleep on the weekend.
Had my first dose this morning.
Had a shocking night's sleep last night - will take the dog to the vet for the 8.30am appointment and go back to sleep when I get back - I'll ring the union later.
Oh Gargy, I can't quite imagine what it's like as I haven't embarked on IVF treatment yet, but I'm quite excited for you. Go the syranel !!(I'll probably look back at this post in a few months and go, what was I thinking??)
Joy, I hope as the days pass, the hurt and sadness at your BFN result become a little less.
Blizz, what you say below about needing to feel like you have some sort of control in the process, is so true for me. My frustration is building as I hang 'in limbo', and I really just want to embark on the next chapter, whatever that may be. We have another appointment with DH's FS (sperm guru)tomorrow morning to do a whole battery of tests and scans (the FS even mentioned looking for a possible tumor which freaked me a tad and put a little perspective on having child versus ensuring DH is healthy), so I'm really hoping after this round of tests we'll be a step closer to...well, somewhere!
:hug: to you all from gloomy, winter has returned with a vengeance, Melbourne.