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Hi Sh2863
Thank you so much for your story and being so generous in sharing your journey with us. I am a new member who can not PM anyone....but will try to get in touch with Gargy to somehow get a message to you about your egg donor experiences. Hope that we will be able to get in contact soon.
Lots of hugs
babyseeker
hello lovely ladies and gentlemen of the DC thread, who here remembers who I am??? LOL!! Oh yes I am very slack:redface:
welcome to the new faces and good luck with your journey(s).
I am madly planning and packing to escape the state this weekend....I am going to Melbourne to see Essendon v Carlton, Paige is having a sleep over at her aunt and Uncles and Gus is jet setting with us to swine flu central for the weekend.
We are blitzing Melbourne this year, will be back in August to see PINK and again in November for a wedding complete with children in tow hoping maybe there will be a catch up in November we could make it to, you never know your luck I guess.
Business is going very slowly and I need to do some frantic advertising for more clients or I may end up having to go back to my old job:rolleyes:
The children are well and growing madly Paige will be three so soon, we have booked her a jumping castle can't wait to see her face, and a Peppa pig birthday cake.
Angus is full of cheeky toothy grins as he has two little chompers now.
All I can say to you starting down the donor road is that it is all soooo worth it, and I can't wait to hear of each of you expecting your own little bundles
love to all Allie and the gang xxxxxx
hi all, well had a great weekend away watching Carlton get flogged by Essendon, had a lovely meal and time at Jamie Olivers fifteen resteraunt and brought a I new camera (woo-hoo) and heaps of new clothes...glad to be home and hope we managed to avoid the dreaded flu LOL
Woot!! way to go blizz!! glad 2 hear you had a good time in melbourne and managed to avoid the flu. I can't believe that Angus is 8mths old and Paige is almost 3! Seems like yesterday that Paige was having her second birthday party!
Hi All
Gee it has been so long since I have posted in here! I have been reading everyone's posts but have just been a little slack in actually posting myself!! :redface:
Anyway all is good here! Only 5 1/2 weeks to go till we meet bubs! I cant believe how fast the pregnancy has gone! I have finished work now so just trying to take it easy and have a bit of me time!! Nursery is all ready & clothes are all washed & put away... so pretty organised!
I hope everyone is doing well.... am thinking of you all! I will make the most of the next few weeks and post more often!!
xxx
Yay Joy, how exciting, don't make it on BB much of late, discovered FB (sad I know) good luck can't wait to hear the news of your new arrival, will keep checking, all the best, love to everyone.
Can't wait meeting Gargy on Monday night woo-hoo
with love from the Blizz'zez xxxxxx
Joy - enjoy your last few weeks of pregnancy.. bubs will be in your arms before you know it.
blizz - hi GF!. Give gargy a hug for me!
Hi Guys, :hello:
Do you mind if I hang out in here with you?
My Dh and I are just starting the DE journey. As you can see from my sig, we've been through a lot and my FS has told me that it would be a good idea to move on. So my gorgeous 1st cousin (who is practically like my sister) has offered her eggs.
I've just been sent out all the paperwork and am waiting on the cost info so we can prepare.
In the meantime we're planning a trip to our favourite holiday destination, Phuket in Oct. So that's something good to look forward to.
It's all still very raw and I don't think I've really come to terms with it all yet. I hope that my fears of not bonding as closely with any resulting dc are all to be proved wrong.
Are there any DE girls in here at the moment?
Looking forward to getting to know you all.
Clemo
Clemo, when I held bubs in my arms for the first time, I totally forget about donor anything... .Of course I'm eternally grateful to the donor, and would love to meet him one day and give him a big hug and thankyou.
We used donor sperm.. good luck in your journey...gotto go baby trying to type
Hi Tarkine,
It's good to hear how you feel about it. I'm hoping that I can get my strength from you guys having come out the other end of it all.
If you don't mind me asking, how is your DH handling it all?
He's handling it quite well. He's known for years that there would be problems (health reasons), but to be honest it took him 4 years to get his mind around it, and I'd given up hope of ever having babies, when his sister got pregnant and he went to visit her baby and that was it for him - he wanted one, then getting him to the specialists was a lot easier.
DH and I have very similar views on the whole donor thing. Alex is DH's son and that is that. If/when Alex wants to meet the donor then we will do everything in our power to make it happen. we love him and our close family knows we used donor sperm and it changes nothing about how anyone feels about him. the MIL is as crazy in love with Alex as she is with all of her other eight grandchildren
That's so good to hear Tarkine.
I'm getting itchy feet now and really want to get started but it'll be after we get back from Thailand in Oct that we'll do the DE cycle.
Waiting, waiting.....you'd think I'd be good at it by now!
Hello my name is redlady,
My husband and I are using a known sperm donor but we are trying home insemination first before trying IVF. As our clinic has a waiting list. We are anxious to get trying I am turning 36 in september. I would like 2-3 children. I have revised it after finding out I would need IVF to have children, it used to be 5-7 children. lol.
I would like to meet others who have done home insemination. Are there others out there who have done this?
Our families don't know we are using donor sperm and my DH is adminate that they don't find out.
Did you choose to let the child know how they came about or not?
Sorry for all the questions
sincerely
Redlady.
Hi All
Only 3 weeks to go now!! The time is going sooo fast!!!
Welcome Clemo! We have used donor sperm and bubs is due in 3 weeks! DH & I were both devasted when we found out he had no sperm.. but after some councelling & long talks together we decided that using donor sperm was a good option for us. I sometimes wonder how DH will feel when the baby is born.. but he is so excited and really cant wait! He wants it out now!! He talks to my belly everyday which is really sweet! October will be here before you know it... good luck with everything!!
Hi Redlady... Welcome! DH & I will def be telling our children how they came into this world.. we want it to be part of their life story so will be telling them from a fairly early age. Our close family also know that we used donor sperm & have been really supportive.
We went through IVF - 1st cycle was unsuccessful but we fell pregnant 2nd time with a frozen embryo transfer. Sorry not much help on the home insemination!
Tarkine - I cant believe Alex is 5 months already! Are you enjoying motherhood? I am really looking forward to it but am also getting a little nervous & anxious! Am trying to take everyone's advice and just rest up for the next couple of weeks! Always feels like I have stuff to do though! :rolleyes:
Joy - just remember to go on your instincts.. it seems that every man and his dog have advice on babies, but you need to go by what you feel. I remember feeling really tired and exhausted in the hospital, and thought I had to leave my baby in the bassinette - neither of us got any sleep, until one of the nurses showed me how to co-sleep with Alex and it made the world of difference, for me.. BUT we are all different, so it might not work for you.
Redlady - we went through IVF (hit the jackpot first go) as we didn't know anyone who would be a donor... I saw an SBS series on making babies (I think it was called) and they followed a couple who did at home (with a syringe) and it worked for them. We told all our close family and friends about using donor sperm - but that suited us.
Redlady - I'm new to this donor stuff and will be using my cuz's eggs so can't help you on the sperm side of things. I've heard of sucessful home insem though - so I hope it works for you too.
About telling any resulting DC children - well there has been a lot of research done and they say that it is better for the child to know early on in life. Secrets are no good for any body in the long run. There is a recommended book called "Sometimes it takes 3 to make a baby" to help with explaining.
I think in the end it's about letting the child know how special they are and how hard we tried to get them.
I'm still going through the feelings of failure which is probably why your dh wants to keep it a secret. But in the end we have to push our pride aside if we desire to fulfill our dream of having a family.
Joy - Congrats on 3 weeks to go! How exciting! Thanks for the welcome. Looking forward to getting to your stage asap!
Me - We booked our trip to Phuket yesterday. So it's all set. Sun baking, ****tails, white water rafting, elephant treks, and lots of shopping...here we come!
Joy - how fantastic, time flies doesn't it? Wishing you well these last 3 weeks, and looking forward to hearing news of his/her arrival.
Redlady - we've dealt with our situation probably a little different to others. Ever since finding out DH has issues with sperm production, we've been very open with everyone; friends, family, even nosy acquaintances (who i'm betting wish they never asked!) They've followed us through our journey of finding out this news, then a failed IVF attempt where DH had an open biopsy, and now with our search for a donor, and the issues that go with this. We're adament that our child (if/when we finally have one) will know from as soon as it can understand how he/she came into the world - and also have some kind of special 'uncle type' relationship with our donor. We've found that by sharing our 'problem' with others, it lessens the load we have to bear ourselves. But saying that, that's just the way we are - we needed to be able to talk about it, although it did take a while to get our heads around it all. I'm sure you guys equally will deal with it in a way that suits what you need. Everyone's different.
Oh, and we'll be doing IVF as my cycle is a bit unpredictable. I'd be interested to know how your home insem goes. And regarding your donor, do you have any arrangement with him as to multiple children (you say you want 2-3), and what role, if any he will have in the child's life? We're having some of these discussions with our donor at the moment and it's quite confronting to talk/think about.
Clem - out of curiosity - does your cuz have children of her own? I also want to say, i hope any feelings of failure on your part pass quickly, and that you soon have a child of your own so that you know without a doubt that you'll be a great mother, regardless of whose eggs.
Hi Lieve,
Our known donor has come to an agreement of fathering two children at minimum. I have an illness that makes me dizzy I have an inner ear condition I have had it for 5yrs now. If pregnancy agree with me I would like 3 children if possible. If pregnancy doesn't agree with me I will settle for only 2 children.
Our donor does not want to be a part of the childs life. He sees this as a gift to us nothing more. He made sure we are not going to ask him for money for support of the children. As it was never our intention to all of a sudden ask for monetry support.
He sees his role as giving us sperm, me concieving and myself and my DH as the parents. He sees it as a gift, not something that belongs to him.
He does not want contact from the children but will be there to ask any medical questions if we have them. His family history going 2 generations back has no medical or psychiatric conditions.
He has 4 children of his own.
Because he doesnt want contact from any resultant children we have agreed not to tell the child. We will tell the child that he/she was concieved in a very special way. That a very special man gave us a gift. But no names will be revealed.
Im sorry if this offends anyone. But my DH doesn't want his family knowing he has that big of a problem that he CANT father biological children. His family place extreme emphasis on having the family trait passed down and genes. Which are faulty which is why he is infertile.
We have chosen a donor very close to his looks and height.
Sincerely
Redlady
Hi Redlady,
Just quickly dropping in to wishing you good luck. DP and I have decided to look for an egg donor later this year.
I don't think you are offending anyone, it's your choice and you need to deal with it however you feel comfortable with it. It's unfortunate that the family of your DH feels this way. I havn't yet decided what I will tell my mum but I have told my sisters and they have been very supportive after asking some questions.
Sara
Hello ladies I have my BT today with my very last embryo with my own 44 yr old egg. If it's a positive result quite frankly it's a miracle from God and all here will be witnessing a miracle.
We will think about looking for a donor after a break. I don't know time's getting away
Lieve - My Dh and I have been very open, like you have, with our journey. We have very close friends and family that are very supportive and have shared our dreams, thoughts and fears with all of them.
Only a select few know about our next step of doing DE at the moment but we have every intention of being open about it all when the time comes. I just needed some time for myself 1st.
Yes, my cousin has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's now in a stable relationship and they want to have kids of their own but my cousin wants to help me first. She is such a wonderful person.... :heartbeat:
What stage are you at Lieve? Will you be doing a cycle soon?
Redlady - I'm sorry you and your DH have to bear the pressure of his family.
Sara - Good luck with finding an egg donor. Will you be going anon? Can I ask why you were doing pgd? We did it as I have a balanced translocation.
Futuremum - Wishing you so much luck today :pray:. Hopefully this will be your miracle and you won't need to even think about DE.
got everything crossed for you futuremum
Wishing you best of luck futuremum! Have everything crossed for you :pray:
Hello,
Just found out another clinic near our clinic doesn't have such long waiting times for donor sperm. They are sending me out information in the mail. So it may look like we are doing full blown IVF afterall.
I hope to start this year it will be great to be finally underway.
sincerely
Redlady.
Just to let you know the BT was negative we will be looking into donor now
Thanks for all your well wishes sorry no personals I've only just found out this news
Future Mum,
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Redlady
future mum :hug: :hug: :grouphug:
I'm so sorry Futuremum :cry: :hug:
I had a bit of a meltdown last night :crying:. I started thinking, what if my cousins eggs don't work.......then what......don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with anymore bad news.....I know it's silly trying to guess the future but I just worry. :rolleyes:
Futuremum, :hug:. I'm so sorry your last embryo wasn't the one. Be kind to yourself, your journey is far from over.
Clemo - i understand your meltdown all too well, have been having a few myself recently. it all just seems so hard, and so many doors keep closing. We just heard from our potential donor that his semen analysis came back with a less than optimal result (poor motility), so he has to do another one to be sure. If it doesn't look good with him we're back to square one and then i don't know what we'll do :(. I'm doing a lot of crying lately, partly from sheer frustration, part anger, part sadness and time just seems to be slipping away. Our donor had planned to come out to Australia in October to do the counselling, testing, etc so we're still a long way off yet before we cycle (with a 6 month quarantine period on top of that, etc). Do egg donors have to undergo the same testing, quarantine, etc as sperm donors? Is it an equally exhaustive process for you & your cousin?
Redlady - glad that you have another option open to you with another clinic. It sometimes feels like we have so few options in this difficult situation, so it's good to at least have one or two to consider.
Lieve - I hope the 2nd analysis comes back ok. I don't know why this has to be so hard. It should be the most natural thing in the world. I do have a lot of moments thinking that it's really not fair. And don't get me started on the herion addicts that breed like mice....how unfair is that!!
The donor info pack I got says that my cousin will have all the typical IVF blood tests, 2 x counselling sessions, there was a huge medical questionnaire she has to fill out, but apart from that, I don't think there is anything else. I'm sure my FS will want to have a look at her ovaries and question her about her cycle to figure out the meds but I think that's it. My DH and I have to have the typical blood tests again and counselling. The donor admin fee is nice isn't it????? $2k just for the pleasure and nothing back from medicare....nice. They surely see you coming.
What do you mean by quarantine? I don't really know much about the whole donor thing yet. I spose I should do some research. I'm just a bit tired of the whole thing at the moment and am trying to keep my head in the sand!
Where is everyone??? :dunno:
Lieve - Did you get your results back?
Futuremum - How are you dealing with the whole DE thing?
Sara - Have you started looking for your egg donor?
Me - I thought I'd get the ball rolling on things. So DH is doing his required blood tests today and I'll do mine tomorrow. I'm getting the blood slips sent out for my cousin so she can do hers too. Then I'll arrange for my cousin and I to see my FS and then arrange counselling & nursing apps. I'm hoping to get all this stuff done now and then after we get back from Phuket in Oct we can go straight into a cycle.
Although I don't know how healthy our bank balance will be after our holiday!!!!
Hi Clemo, hope all the blood tests are going well, a few jabs certainly helps you feel like you've started the process. :crossfingers: all come back good and you can get straight onto a cycle. I know for me at least when I was doing things like counselling and nurses appointments, etc it felt good to regain some kind of control over it all and a bit of excitement too knowing that each day was one step closer.
Now I feel a bit in limbo land. Our donor hasn't done his 2nd test yet - unfortunately he's not in the same hurry we are :rolleyes:...so we just have to wait- but apparently his clinic said he shouldn't be too concerned, so we'll see. You asked about quarantine - well when someone donates the clinic tests their blood for diseases like HIV & Hep B, C. Because these diseases sometimes take up to 6 months to show in your blood, they hold onto the sperm until after 6 months when the donor does another blood test. If the 2nd blood test is also clean, then they release the sperm to us to be used. So, I'm not sure if they do the same for egg donors or not. Possibly not.
Joy - :bellyrubs: any news??????
Hi
Has anyone looked into going to the US for a donor egg. I emailed someone who posted in here at some point (she was a one-off poster) and never received a reply. I'm looking for some info - where to start, what to expect, costs, time commitment, etc.
I am just beginning to think about ED after my 3rd m/c due to age-related trisomies.
Best of luck to you all - I hope you all get your much wished for and deserved babies.
Thanks.
Lieve - Bummer about the 2nd test not being done yet. I hope your donor hurry's up for you. A 6 month wait ontop of everything is a bit of a pain.
I had a read of my DE info pack again and it does mention the quarantine but it also has a section where I can wave the quarantine period if the 1st tests come back ok. So that's what I'll be doing.
It does feel good to be doing things. I just booked our FS, counselling, nurses and accts apps. It's a bit annoying though as we have to have 4 different apps to do them all and taking time off work is a bit difficult. :wall: Anyway, we have to do what we have to do.
buliej - As far as I know there are egg donor clinics in the US that you register with. I don't know anymore info than that. Maybe one of the other girls in here will be able to help.
Hi Everyone
No news yet.... just waiting, waiting, waiting!! All going well & bubs is in position so just playing the waiting game at the moment!!
Lieve - I hope your donor gets the 2nd test done soon! It's good his clinic said not to be too concerned with the first test... hopefully that has put you at ease a little?
Clemo - Great that you have the ball rolling with things! I felt a lot more in control of the situation when I was organising the appointments - feels like you are getting a step closer & moving forward!
Tarkine - How are things going? How is Alex? Hope all is well!
xxx
Hi Julie,
I just yesterday found an ad on essential baby for a US donor agency clinic, it seemed to cost $UD 7000 which went to the donor and another $US 5000 to the agency and that's before any medical costs.
Wondering if anyone here has any tips on where to advertise for a donor - I've found the aussieeggdonor website which seems to be a good way and also thinking of Sydney Child but would be helpful to know where others found their donors.
Wishing you all good luck whereever you are on your journey.
Sara
Hi sara we are looking into US donor agencys too
clemo we have sent our ad off to the VIc Minister of Health to get approved, I also found AED and am feeling better excited even about donor.
Hello to everyone :-)
Joy - That's great that bub is in position and ready to go! Not long now.
Sara & Futuremum - great news on getting started. I hope you find your lovely donor ladies soon.
Does anyone know where you get the essential baby magazine?
Futuremum - Forgive me if I'm wrong but I think Sara is talking about Essential Baby the webiste. it's another forum like this one.