I don't think it's ever too late to start. Most kids seem to go through phases where you catch lots of wees (and even some poos), and then as they get older, it all seems to go out the window. I don't know why this happens, but it happened to us, and from what I hear, it seems to be a pretty common occurence... So I say stay with it. This phase is just temporary. He will go back on the potty soon, so I would recommend that you persist, but don't stress out too much. Ultimately a week or two of "failed" days, is nothing in the long run...
It's been going on for a couple of months... I've tried not offering it for a while/ offering it and just leaving it when he's not interested/ pushing it a little. Had him in cloth for the last 2 days lots of nappy free time and he's still refusing. he'll sit there get up and go pee on the carpet. He *knows* when he's going, he can stop if he wants to and does if I tell him to. but still wont sit on the darn potty ... maybe this would be better off in TT discussion...
20 months isn't too late for EC. What you may need to do, though, is do the easiest part first - night-continence.
If you can sleep with DS in his bed at night for a while and be aware of his wrigglings, you will catch more wees than if you try to go for day continence.
While we sleep we release a hormone that inhibits urine production, so it's in lighter sleep that children rouse and wet themselves. If you can catch that moment to offer a potty, you'll find more successes that build up and give you both more confidence.
For us: long weekend in Bendigo, not one nappy used, and only two floor incidents at the motel (both times, right near the potty, doh!) - all weekend we spent the days by the fire brigade running track with no nappy on, and DD held on till I could take her to the toilet, where she'd do a big long wee I'm sure there were disapproving looks because she was wearing dresses and when they lifted up she was nekked, but I knew that as soon as I put a pair of training pants on, I'd slacken off and she'd end up doing a wee...so I left everything off, and she remained dry. Not a single smelly nappy to bring home, yay!
She's waking up in the morning and able to get down off the bed (when I say 'potty'), open the door of the caravan, let herself down (prompted by 'safe safe', so that she goes down backwards) and go over to her potty for her morning wee and poo. It's starting to pay off, all this intensive cue-catching - so when people say "oh, that's so easy that you dont' have to use nappies", I tell them that it's been an intensive 17 months!
question for you ladies, or more of a "suggestions please"...
We have HUGE issues with sleeping (or more precisely, not sleeping). DD takes alot of input to get to go sleep.
Everyone and everything I read is telling me to: dream feed, and settle her right away if she wakes and stirs during the night.
But I have been unwrapping her (as she still sleeps wrapped) and removing her nappy (which may often be wet) and pottying her (and she often goes) and then putting it all back on again. The problem is that this process often wakes her if she was only drowsy in the beginning. But if I leav her in the wet nappy, she often grizzles for quite a while anyway.
Also, because she takes so long to get down to sleep, the "settling" time often needs another potty-time, or nappy change - and again, both of these are quite stimulating for her, so then we have to start over with settling again. Settling can frequently take more than 90 mins, which is 2 or even sometimes 3 potty/nappies, so 2 or 3 lots of "razzing up" / stimulation.
Is it possible to continue to do EC and settling, or will one be sacraficed while working on the other as it currently is?
I've been wanting to start EC for a while now, I was waiting until DS was on solids though as he used to only do one poo a week. Now he is eating, it is all becoming more regular and I have been able to catch his poos in the toilet three times now. He is funny though, he hasn't done a poo in a nappy for ages, he only goes when he has nappy free time in the mornings. I haven't been able to catch any wees yet. Any tips on how to do this? Isaac is a very heavy night wetter, and during the day I can never tell when he is about to go.
I would begin with catching the night wees - easiest ones to catch because they're not up and around and giving confused signals At night they'll be asleep, then after a while they'll start to wriggle and maybe wake - you want to get them over a receptacle before the crying about being awake, though they may cry once you're asking them to wee in a potty. Just that this is the time they'll definitely have a wee to do.
We have achieved night continence! Wee before bed, then nothing (unless there's something else going on like teething or a cold) until morning, when I say "shishi" to her and she goes over to the potty. Shishi is what a few Asian countries use to cue for the potty, before making a 'pssss' sound - I had read that and then made a friend at Kinder who is Japanese and this is what she says to her DD My DD knows now, and if she doesn't need to she'll say "nononono", which is very cute!
So, 19 months and night continent. Day continent, too - we're in undies!
Milly - I see where you are coming from, but I have no advice sorry! It's all new to me.
Thanks Mayaness, how do you tell when they are about to wee when they are asleep? DS always has a very wet nappy after he wakes, and so far I haven't noticed any signs that he is weeing. Except he sometimes has a look on his face when he is actually weeing, there doesn't seem to be any signs beforehand. I sleep with him, and he has two or three feeds during the night which obviously generates more wees. He doesn't really wake properly for the feeds, and we always fall asleep feeding so I am a bit reluctant to turn those feed times into 'awake' times by getting him up and undressed in the cold.
Or is it just about timing? This morning after his first feed for the day I held him over the toilet (I must buy a potty) but there was nothing. I like the shishi word, I think I will use that
I bed share, too, and that makes it easier to do - I was reading Ingrid Bauer's book on night-continence and realised all the windows of opportunity I had lost with DS and that's when I hopped back into his bed (he'd moved onto his own bed by this stage, after more than 2 years) and waited for all those 'hindsight' cues! It worked - he would stir a little and then I offered the potty. Yes, it started off by waking him, and even when he got upset he wasn't 'fully' awake - I'd put his nappy back on (before I took it off for bed times) and we'd curl up together again for a feed and he'd drop off.
I remember that at the time my SiL kept on about how her DD was dry at night (she's a month older than DS and had been claiming this for months). After reading about ECing I knew that she wasn't truly night continent because what they were doing was withholding liquids after a certain time - she was dehydrated overnight, not night continent. They couldn't really understand why DS had become night continent, using the potty and quickly the loo while I was still feeding overnight and giving him drinks till bedtime.
So, just little body movements when they rouse from deep sleep into a lighter sleep - it's in lighter sleep that they wet the nappy. So, yes, it's about timing and the body movements that help identify the time they rouse from deep sleep. In deep sleep the hormone is released to inhibit urine production. The Bauer book is really the best reference for this information - Natural Infant Hygiene it's called.
Thanks Mayaness, I am going to try to get my hands on Ingrid Bauer's book.
I still haven't been able to catch a wee. No signs that I can see, maybe the book will help. DS hasn't had a pooey nappy in ages now, except last night. I don't know how I missed it, and I just felt so awful that I had let him sit in his own poo without knowing. Going to do a search for that book right now
Mayaness - do you know where I can get the Bauer book from? I still haven't been able to locate one. All the links I find to what is supposed to be her web page take me somewhere else.
I EC'd yesterday while a friend and her baby were visiting. A first for me! It was funny, the babies were playing on the floor together and I could see Isaac was about to poo and I was just going to let him do it in his nappy because I felt a bit embarrassed for some reason. Then I just thought, no, I'll do it, who cares who is here so I just said 'umm Isaac needs to poo, back in a sec' and I whipped his nappy off and took him to the toilet to do his business (still haven't bought a potty). My friend actually thought it was great, and asked all about it! I'm glad I did it while she was here, who knows, I may have converted someone lol!
ISBN for the book is ISBN1440649596 - if you need to order it from a bookshop. Check with your local library network (and in the search field see if you can search through an extended library system - I didn't realise till late in the piece that I could order books from libraries all over the state, with my previous service, and I think with my new one!) as well.
I know that embarrassed feeling! Then thinking "well, I can't explain embarrassment to my child who just needs to do a poo in a dignified manner, now that she knows how to do it and it's all she knows". Sometimes I think that it 'might be easier' to put DD in a nappy, then slap myself and realise that's silly - she hasn't been in one on over 6 months, so why would I put her back in one? Plus, she can hold on for ages till we find a loo, so an 'accident' is really my own oversight - and rarely happens now, anyway.
She's only really having accidents at FDC, and she's only been twice, the second time she used the potty later in the day, so it's a matter of her comfort levels in care. She's taken to care very well, and the carer is happy to just change her into fresh clothes and offer her the potty
Good one on catching the poo and enlightening someone!!
My DD is 6 weeks old and I have always planned on ECing. I caught a couple of poos early on but was surpised that I wasn't picking up on any cues from my baby. I had some essays and exams to get done for uni so I sort of didn't bother. Anyway, today was my first day at home since my exams were over and we spent it with heater on and nappy off reading EC forums and advice online. Ended up catching 2 poos (based on timing, not picking up on cues). Still, I feel pretty chuffed about it.
I feel like my EC journey has started now and I know noone else who has tried EC, so I thought I would touch base here so I have some friends to turn to for advice (or to share my excitement and milestones).
I started at about 6 months with DD1 (totally dry day time by 14-16 mths) so i am a bit unsure what to do with DD2 as she is 11 weeks, we have lots of nappy free time when we are home and i sometimes know when she is going to wee - gets grunty and kickes her legs and poo wise she always does it mid BF so thats a bit more tricky.
I have been telling her that she is weeing when she does and talk to her about it, but should i be taking her off to the potty?
Any hints?
Also DD2 has taken a backwards dive with night wetting, she sleeps without a nappy and has an absorbent sheet (the ones that you get in hospital) under her so i just swap that out if she wakes up wet. Trouble is she is dropping her day nap so is exhaused at night time and sleeps more soundly so doesnt always wake if she needs to go (or cant hold it - not sure which)
I am not going o put her back in a nappy, but i am getting tired as she never seems to time her wet bed with Miss A's overnight feeds so i am up 2-4 times a night atm...
I'm doing the 365 photography project and one of the people I am following posted this gorgeous pic today so I just thought I'd share.. it's interesting to read everyones comments, some thinking it would be messy!
Just had to share...Aurora is 6 months old and we started EC yesterday (as in using a potty) we just caught our first wee!!!
She woke from a sleep and I was about to give her nappy free time (about 50% of the day is nappy free) and I noticed she was dry, so put her on the potty and she wee'd woop woop!!!
I did the same with MJ and she was poo TT by 12 mths and daytime dry by 15mths (slowed mainly by me returning to work)
Yay the journey begins again
hi there my son is 2 and we have just started in big boy jocks he's doing well but i cant seem to catch a break when it comes to poo's he has done it twice on his potty but was mortified by the sight and seems to hold on or just do it in his jocks....any suggestions?
I am in a bit of a "potty pause" I think.
I look back to a few months ago, just before my DD started walking, and we could have a dry nappy for most of the day if we were at home (going out and EC just doesn't seem to happen - I think because there are just no child friendly amenities anywhere near where I live, and when she was smaller I just used the back of the car, but now she is bigger it hasn't quite worked as well). Anyway, I could have easily said she was poo EC Graduate (is that the term??) from about 9 months, but still having a few misses with wees. Well, we had a few hurdles - walking started; got too big for the potty, so after 3 different potties finally found one; mum also pg and super MS and fatigue, so wasn't quite as in tune; a bit of disruption in the house in terms of moving things around to create space for number 2. that kind of thing. And I look back now, and we would be lucky to catch 2 or 3 wees per day - all the rest misses, and she has even done a couple of poos in her nappy too. I mean I do expect a step back but what is surprising is that she doesn't even seem bothered when she is wet or dirty, which was so not like her. And try as I might, I really don't think she seems to be showing signs of wees anymore. I have done the nappy free time, and several times she has been standing peeing on the floor and either been oblivious to it, or with a very surprised look on her face as in "who put that there?". At night - some nights she will be dry right through, and wake for a wee, but then others she will sleep right through and be wet in the morning. Any suggestions? I feel like we have lost the path a bit, and not sure of the way back.
She's busy, she's learning a new way to experience her world
It's normal to have some regressions. The most important thing is to keep things positive between you and her. Keep communicating with her and avoid being disapproving. She's not learning toileting for you, she's learning it for her, and you're helping her I know it's frustrating, and it's really important to remember "it's not about me". It WILL happen.
My DD is now completely continent. She's nearly 2.5 and has been out of 'back up' nappies for 15 months (since we moved to the farm and out of MiL's house). She will go all night without needing to wee, and likes to use toilets, though she can't use ours yet because she can't reach the seat of the composting loo (we use the 'weekender' chamber while we're here in the shed), as well as the fact that it hasn't been plumbed in for liquid waste, so we're all doing our wee outside, unless DD wants to use the potty.
So, I guess you could call it a 'success story', and really, it's classic EC outcome that I know you will all come to I'm glad the practice is being revived, even in just small numbers, here in Australia!
Your toileting successes are always much more worthy of celebration when you've had setbacks - so the regressions really teach kids what to build from and what not to go back to, without us saying anything about it except what to aim for next time.
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... maybe this would be better off in TT discussion...
I'm sure there were disapproving looks because she was wearing dresses and when they lifted up she was nekked, but I knew that as soon as I put a pair of training pants on, I'd slacken off and she'd end up doing a wee...so I left everything off, and she remained dry. Not a single smelly nappy to bring home, yay!
At night they'll be asleep, then after a while they'll start to wriggle and maybe wake - you want to get them over a receptacle before the crying about being awake, though they may cry once you're asking them to wee in a potty. Just that this is the time they'll definitely have a wee to do.
he has done it twice on his potty but was mortified by the sight and seems to hold on or just do it in his jocks....any suggestions?
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