The concept of 'choice'

Wow there have been some beautiful posts today ....:grouphug:

There certainly have been wonderful posts.
Inanna, you are the only person who has truly listened to my belief about my lack of choice being a factor in my Ellen's death.
I have read posts here with such hope for the future. All the wonderful women who have living angels will be passing on this deep spiritual understanding of the glory of birth and the importance of the birthing mother. They will speak honestly and openly with their sons and daughters about the importance of this rite of passage and in time the system we have will change. Huge change is always slow but it will happen. Small voices will be heard.
I felt very out of control while waiting for doctors I didn't even know the name of before my appointments at the FMU at Canb Hospital (the reception staff never told me which dr I'd be seeing). Because of this feeling I have made huge inroads into improving the environment of the waiting room in memory of my daughter. I made (actually am still making) a very very small change in the lives of birthing mothers. I felt women deserved a better environment while waiting in pregnancy for the arrival of their precious children. Against my choice I had spent hours with my daughter in this area. I made a change. It is a tiny step but hopefully the people working in the area will use it to remember that the women they are caring for deserve high standards and respect....................There was quite a bit of rubbish being left in the area. Mostly due to the lack of bins being provided for use. Staff in the area clearly judged the women who left things behind as "lower class" and treated them poorly due to this judgement. Instead of looking at the space they provided for these stressed, worried people they blamed the people using the space for not being tidy.
This judgement led to their justification of not listening to womens choices. This is along the lines of "If you can't behave appropriately then how can you make an informed decision?"...........
The system actually creates it's own justifications...........then justifies removal of choice........
I am sorry to have gone on about my experiences and am happy to take flak over this. Please forgive me.......

Don't apologise Kateo, your experience and perspective is very helpful to others.

Oh my - apologise. NO! This sharing is so important for Ellen, for you, for me & all of the other Women who are blessed to read your thoughts.

I am glad for a moment today you felt heard & valid. :hug:

Kateo, I feel honoured to be able to hear your experiences. Your journey and truth will not be silenced here. Please feel free to post whatever you need.

We are all listening with open hearts :grouphug:

Thank to EVERYONE who has contributed to this thread. It is why I come back to BB everyday (ok, maybe multiple times a day). You all speak to my soul.

Hmm this is interesting! Kateo's mentioning of the faceless and nameless doctors that were part of Ellen's birth journey reminds me acutely of a dear friend of mine whose baby was born at home but with severe (and unknown) congenital problems. the mother of the baby was spoken to by a multitude of drs over the course of the first week that without due thought or understanding immediately blamed her choice to HB on the condition of her son. her choice was attacked and she faced so much blame. and interestingly enough, once they found out what was wrong with their baby, the specialists made the point of emphasising that her choice to birth at home, probably HELPED that baby get the best start to life...simply because of a phsyiological first stage where bubs was able to access oxygen for longer than would of been in hospital. Like Kateo mentioned there is so much judgement within a medical system of a mother: whether she births privately, publicly, at home, whether she births on her back, on her knees (thinking of another members journey of recrimination for her choice to birth in a particular position...).

I find it strange how a woman's 'choice' is so at risk during this time of sacredness. where it is belittled or scarily, not seen as important. gosh, even our 'nesting' is a thing for people to have a chortle at and not take seriously! but i am getting on a soapbox here lol...

I agree Cassius - it's a form of mockery often & as such riles me at times also. :hug:

I've been following this thread and have wanted to post but my head is so fuzzy from everything going on in our lives right now that I just don't have the energy spare to collect my thoughts nearly as eloquently as you ladies have. I wanted to say this thread has made me smile & cry all at once, and the beauty in these posts is so heartwarming. I do have things to share related to the birth of both my children and the choices involved but I will come back when the fog lifts a bit and feel clearer in myself. I wanted to let you know how much I have enjoyed reading your posts.

:grouphug:

I look forward to hearing your experiences infinity. I can see from your sig there were certainly things beyond your control in the birth of your babies. I hope you can come back and share :grouphug: