Darl I think there's a difference between emotional development (read cord cutting) and practical realities. If retaining your private health insurance leaves you with more choice, then that's not a bad thing. And it doesn't mean that you haven't moved on emotionally from feeling dependent on having a "private" experience complete with your old ob etc for your next bub. I think you can still have that (if you end up needing it/wanting it) as a considered choice that's the best one for your and bub in the circumstances and it won't mean that you haven't 'cut the cord'. Like you said, something has clicked. That's happened whether or not you retain your PHI.