I don't have much great advice but just wanted to pop in and offer support. It sounds *really* tough and I can understand why you're concerned, and also why you found it difficult to cope with. I imagine that would have made it difficult to leave the house or do anything social for all that time. Especially with all the competition that often surrounds parenting & child development (which shouldn't, we all do things differently and develop at different rates). Good on you for recognising that you needed help

I think he will eventually start caring, which will be the impetus for him to remember. The fact that your husband did the same suggests that it might not be anything to worry too much about.

As for the psych and wondering if you might've made the oroblem worse... is there anything to suggest that he's doing it on purpose or to weild some control over you? Unless he is, I don't think you've made it worse or need a child psych (JMO). What is it making you feel like he might need a child psych?