Children of Narcissistic Parents

[StrawberryFields]

So I've noticed in the short time I've been here, that there are a lot of us who have a parent (biological, step, in-law etc) who exhibit signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

For years I've thought that I was alone, that I was the only one who genuinely couldn't bring myself to like my own mother because of her behaviour - but now I see I am definitely not the only one! For so long people made me feel guilty for it, like there was something wrong with me all because she would never show that side of herself to anyone else but me. Being her only child made it even harder because I carried the burden completely alone.

I know there are forums out there specifically for kids with NPD parents, but I thought it might be nice if there was a place we could go to discuss, vent, and get support from our BB family too.

So let this be a safe zone for us, free from judgement or guilt. Post your story, ask for advice, have a rant, and share resources - we're all in this together!

[Just Me]

Great thread!

I'll quickly share the links that I have found most useful. There are heaps out there, but I'll start with these. I don't have heaps of time at the moment, I am meant to be trying to get all six of us out the door in the next hour (procrastination much? )

Here is a great link to start with: Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers While it is aimed mainly at daughters of narcissistic mothers, it is pretty relevant to all children of narcissistic parents.

I also found this blog really helpful - Narcissists Suck I don't think the blogger is a professional but an expert definitely. Having narcissistic parents is really a qualification in itself . I get the impression her blog was therapy for herself while she worked through her own issues. She doesn't blog much anymore, but the information in it is great.

There are other links but I thought I would start with those.

[NaeNae]

Have I told ... you lately ... that love you do do do ........

seriously great thread hun x x x will be back after bacon and eggs x

[Miss.September]

How sad a thread like this is needed. I'm here too.

[StrawberryFields]

My mum ALWAYS buys me clothes that are too big for me - then of course I would get in trouble for complaining that they were miles too big, or asking for the reciept so I could go get the right size. I was a size 8 and she was consistently buying me 12-14's.

She's also a TERRIBLE gift giver - I remember when I was about 8 or 9, all I wanted for Christmas was a baby born doll. ALL I wanted, I even told her get me nothing else I don't want anything else accept that doll. I got a stocking full of clothes (all too big for me), a book about Egypt, and a chocolate making kit - I'm allergic to cocoa. I mean how hard is it to get a kid one thing. Its not like they were a hot item at the time and stocks would have been low. I wanted one thing and she didn't think I should have it - I remember her saying I was 'too old' for dolls.

I also cop being told how much she gave up for me and how she raised a child, worked full time, and did uni all at the same time. The truth is she was a shift worker, it wasn't unusual for there to be several days a week when I didn't see her. Dad would drop me at a friends house early before school and I would get a lift with them, and then I would go home with another friend after school until Dad finished work. The nights when she was home, Dad would cook, and she would be in the study click click clicking away on the keyboard getting her assignments done. The only time she really did things for me was to drive me to piano lessons that I hated, or stand over me yelling at me while I practiced whatever musical instrument I was being forced into at the time. When I was 15 she took a job in Canberra for 6 months and it was bliss - accept for every second weekend when she would come home to 'visit' (read: check up on me). Raised me my arse.

[Tinsel]

*hand up* yep, I have a mother with NPD. I went to the links which were posted in another thread and when I read the traits I was like yep, that's it alright. I have limited contact with my family and try not to let them stress me out.

It is a little sad that there are so many of us with issues but at the same time I am glad that there are people who understand.

I am constantly aware of the way I talk to my girls and I really, really don't want my relationship with my girls to be like it was/is with my mother. I'm fairly sure it won't be but the thought is always there.

[StrawberryFields]

It is really sad isn't it? That was what I thought when I started to notice how many people seemed to have mothers like mine!

I'm slowly but surely typing up my story so far, its taking a lot longer than I realised it would!

[Miss.September]

It's worth doing SF. I documented a whole lot of "episodes", took me over three hours, lots of tears and it was so draining. But I felt good afterwards, gave me a real feeling of relief. It ended up being over 20 pages.

[*Sparklez*]

This is such a great thread!!
While I don't like to call my mother narcissistic I do know she is, and always has been..
Will post more later due to being on my phone.. But I thank you for letting us be open and able to support one another in this sort of situation...



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk xoxox

[StrawberryFields]

Its disturbing how much I remember that I can now attribute to narcissism but at the time I just thought thats how everyones mothers were... I missed out on so much

[NaeNae]

Sounds like we all have mental issues

I wish I could write down everything but to be honest I really wouldn't know where to begin. I think there is definately something wrong with me... I certainly do not know how to cope with her behaviour. If "friends" ever did the things she has done I would simply break ties and move on with my life ...... I think its much harder when its family.

Nae x

[Sopdet]

to you all, while I didn't have narcissistic parents, I did have an x who was one, at least I could get away from mine. Still trying to work through the issues left behind.

Thinking of you all and sending you strength.

Also thank you for the links

[~Lashes~]

sounds like mine, only it is her attitude to everyone. i dont think i could/want to remember everything to write it out.

[PumpkinZulu]

Here for my MIL. It breaks my heart that that woman is DH's mother

[Just Me]

I have told my story on here already so I will just add the links. It's in the Platinum section though so not everyone can view it. I don't really want it on the main site. Here are the links ...

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...d-tell-137152/
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...me-fil-147387/

[Starfish]

I'm subscribing too. Unlike most of you, the NPD person in my life is my father. He came to stay with me a few weeks ago and I am still feeling utterly awful about the experience. I am thankful that he usually lives in another country, as even the occassional skype contact is enough to drive me mad.

[toomanyshoes]

I have told my story on here already so I will just add the links. It's in the Platinum section though so not everyone can view it. I don't really want it on the main site. Here are the links ...

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...d-tell-137152/
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...me-fil-147387/

*shudder* I remember those threads, can't believe the stuff you had to deal with

I second JM's first 2 links, the forum and blog even though I found the forum confronting, was really hard to place my mum in that basket and realise what she was doing was more than something that could just be brushed off. I still find it hard not to make excuses for her, she's my mum and isn't meant to be that way.

[StrawberryFields]

I always get: 'You were such a beautiful baby...what happened?' or 'The genes were there you were just too stupid to chose the right ones.' Yes, because the fact that she chose to marry and procreate with my father who looks like the jockey sized lovechild of Mr. Plod and the Monopoly man has absolutely nothing to do with it and the fact I'm short can't possibly be anyone else's fault accept for mine!