The desire to have both genders

[bec2483]

Hi I'm bec and a mum to four dd does the feeling of wanting a little boy ever leave your heart as I would like to increase the chance whether they work or not for a little boy but dh doesn't want anymore

[Arimeh]

Hi - My story is a little different because I had a boy first, and then three girls, but I had been trying since my second DD was born to get a boy (I wanted a boy, girl then a boy).

When my DD3 was just over 18 months old we discussed having another child to try for a boy, but then I realised I didn't want to chance it - I couldn't go through it all again just for a gender that I didn't want. So we decided to not have another child and I made peace with the fact I would never get another boy and my family was fine as it was.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, however you want to look at it) I fell pregnant when we thought we were in the "safe" time and although we tossed up the option of terminating (because I was done, and I didn't want any more children!), we chose to keep going with the pregnancy.

Incredibly, it is actually a boy this time around, but not because of any planning to get him. I think if you want another baby then you have to be prepared for the possibility of getting another girl, and how you would feel about that. That is basically the reason why we didn't want any more because I knew I didn't want any more girls!

[Mildez]

I am in a similar position although have 3 of the same gender. Although I hope to have a 4th child regardless of gender and realise there is about the same chance of having the same as having the opposite I don't think the feelings of wanting the opposite will even go without getting it if that makes sense. I am fine about it most of the time but then things happen which make me very sad I am a parent of the same gender children usually like when others have a new baby and have both genders, the comments about having all the same and then you would only have another to get the gender you want and your poor DH etc. I don't think age will help as the main reasons for having a son will only be exacerbated with age when our daughters get married and we are the only ones left with our surname. Yes of course your son may not have children or your daughters may name their children their maiden name and then there is the fact DH and I will never have the opportunity to parent both genders. I think also the pain of not having both genders is very poorly understood because you should just be grateful to have children which doesn't help.

[raffy]

I only have two of the same gender but we made a conscious decision to go again and try for a girl knowing full well the odds are stacked against us, I think if it is another boy it will take time (and I won't love him any less or treat him any different) but eventually I'll make peace with the fact it wasn't meant to be and even though I'll make peace with it I still don't think I'll ever not really desire a little girl of my own and I don't think I'd go for a fourth just to try for a girl

[jellybean88]

I'm the opposite we had a boy first and I was hoping for another boy and got a girl lol and now I find I want another of each gender so they can have a sibling the same gender but what are the odds of that happening also I really don't want to do the whole pregnancy newborn thing I would quite happily adopt to pick a gender if it wasn't so hard and expensive

[RainbowRiver]

After my first girl, then finding out I was having another girl, I was devastated and took over 3 month post birth to 'accept' her. I then gender swayed and had a boy. My most recent bub is another girl and I couldn't be happier.

[courts&munchkins]

I was the opposite. I was desperate for a little girl and I had a first little boy and then when my second was a boy I remember being very upset. It took me awhile to get on board. When we decided to have a 3rd I had to come to terms with that it might be a 3rd boy and how I would feel about that... not that I didn't love my sons, I just felt like I wasn't complete without a daughter. So once I had accepted that I would be happy either way we tried again, she turned out to be a girl but not really by anything we did, more just luck I think. Then we got pregnant with a surprise 4th baby who was another girl so I ended up with 2 of each. I think if my 3rd had been a boy I would have been happy and adored him but I think I always would have felt a little sad by not having a daughter.

[ladybirdflies]

I just had my fourth girl. I am over the moon with her and thrilled with four girls. THere is a part of me that wonders about what it would be like to have a son. We did not have dd4 to have a son we just wanted to extend our family. I really feel done having babies, but there is a longing for an experience of a son. I could never have another baby to have a son only. If we have another it will be because we felt the impulse to extend our family again. I do wonder if this longing will always be there too, just the wondering of what it would be like to have a son.

[PumpkinZulu]

I'm the opposite. I have little to no desire for a boy, not really. If I could choose what #3 would be I'd say a girl, but if it were a boy I wouldn't be devastated. But I definitely don't have a burning desire for a son or anything. I don't know why, but I often see more women pining for daughters than sons (this is in my own experience with people I know IRL, I should add).

[Amity]

I have two boys. During my pg with DS2, I had counselling to deal with the fact that the baby MAY be a girl. I totally didn't want a girl.

But that was probably more about not wanting a daughter with their father (my XH) rather than not wanting a girl, per se.

I'd be delighted to have a daughter with someone worthwhile.

[Melbournemumma]

I have 2 boys. When DH and I decided to have a third baby I wanted a little girl. We didn't do anything to try and get a girl but when deciding to have a third I had to be prepared for it to be another boy. We found out yesterday that we are indeed having another boy. I had already expected this and am ok with it. I am also ok with this being my last baby. I would still have loved a little girl but DH and I do make very cute little boys ;-)

[LuluHB]

I have three girls and I wouldn't have it any other way. I honestly don't wish for a boy. Neither does my DH. I wanted kids, not genders, and am just grateful that the three children I have are healthy, happy little people

[~TT40~]

growing up(before I was even of child baring age) I always only wanted boys. never ever wanted girls at all. I wanted 5 boys. then I just wanted a baby, stil would prefer a boy but wasn't disgusted at the thought of girls. and now I have a girl I wouldn't change it for the world. it just feels so right having a girl. and if all the future kids are girls I would still love them as much as my ideal boys

[Freya]

I have four boys. I never dreamed I would have so many kids of the same gender. I figured Id have a boy, girl and then whatever! I still struggle with the idea of never having a daughter but I do love my little lads immensely.