Do you tell your LOs that you love them? I'm not questioning whether you love them, of course we do - but do you actually verbalise it to them (whether they understand it or not).
The reason I ask is my parents never really said it to me, and as a result I am finding as a parent that telling DS I love him doesn't come naturally. I know my parents love me, but they very rarely express it to me. Now with DS, I'm sure he knows I love him - but I haven't said it to him much.
How important do you think it is to actually tell your kids that you love them? I think I'd really like to make an effort to change myself to tell DS I love him, and to tell him often.
I tell my girls all the time - at least once a day. I always say it as the last thing at night too "Goodnight sweetheart, I love you" The best thing ever was when DD1 said "I lve you too mummy" for the first time.
For the same reason, I was never told as a child (or teen, or adult!) so I don't find it easy to say it to anyone (well other than people online - luv ya sterla ) but yeah, to actually verbalise it is VERY awkward for me.
Mel, I'm the same - I can write and tell someone I love them easily (cards and letters were always filled with all sorts of mushy stuff), but I feel awkward saying it.
Mind you, come to think of it - when I say things to DS like "you dag" or "you funny little thing", etc, it's probably said with the same inflection as "I love you" - I've just replaced the words, lol.
Definitely something I want to work on, especially as DS gets older and understands more.
I too come from a family that never, ever says "I love you", BUT it was never a problem, I always felt loved. They showed me every day that they did indeed love me. Actions speak louder than words?
Anyway, it is completely normal for me not to say I love you so I never have said it to my little ones. Then about 6 months ago, when DS really started to be able to string a sentence together, he started saying it to me all the time. I think our FDC lady says it to him all the time, so he naturally then just transferred it to a different situation. It is pretty amazing and very powerful. So now I do say it to them often. But DS now goes completely OTT with it and says "Mummy I just love you so much" (in a really soppy voice) and put his hands on my ears and twists my head so he can look me in the eye. I think that's kinda cute but kinda weird, anyway, I'm sure it won't last long. I'm sure he won't be still dong that when he's 16.
i say it to my kids at least a couple of times a day and they say it back. DS is usually the one to say it first - 'mummy, i really love you and daddy and ashy and ruby" and i reply 'i really love you too, matey'. I say it to DD1 before school and before bed. i think it is important for them to hear.
my parents did a lot, so I do too. Multiple times a day.
DH's parents did not, but for him it's the reverse. He doesn't want to be that way so is conscious of making sure he does.
My parents never really said it much growing up, especially my dad as he's not big on "feelings". It wasn't something I thought about much untill I got a bit older and moved away from home.
Since living away from them and only getting the chance to see them every other month, I now make a point of trying to say it to them both as much as possible. It's funny how much I think just saying it has altered out relationships, I feel much closer to dad now that we can say it without it feeling weird or out of place, My Dad's always stoked when I finish a phone call with "love you dad".
I tell DD all the time, she knows the sign for love from a book she has and its basically just hugging yourself, i say i LOOOOVVVE you and hug myself...and DD will come and give me big cuddles! I think if you give them lots of affection and its clear to them that the 'are' loved it wouldnt matter if you actually 'say' the words ir not.
With my step dad...who has been my 'dad' since i was 6....i only really said "i love you" a few years ago when i moved to australia, and now i make a point of saying it every time we talk, it was a bit wierd at first but now its nice.
I tell her constantly.... more than once a day!
My dad said it to me occasionally (maybe more when I was little but I don't remember) and I am pretty sure that my mother has never said it to me ever.
But with DD it just seems natural to say it often.
Maybe if you start to say it it will start to feel natural IYKWIM?
I tell my children numerous times a day that i love them, i think it is a very important thing to tell them. I'm sure your son knows you love him just like you knew your parents loved you but to hear those three little words 'I Love You' is like muic to my ears.
I tell DD it alll the time as does DH, especially before bed and getting up, picking her up, dropping her off at daycare and thoughout the day when I can. I say it because I love her to death, I want her to know that she is deeply loved and cared for, and I am not at all saying that those of you who don't, don't unconditionally love your child/ren. I feel that by saying it for me it verbally affirms that I love my daughter with all that I am and all that I have.
I can't wat for the day when she can tell me that she loves me.
Why I say it is based on my history...
I wasn't told it much, my mum mostly just says it on the phone at the end of the conversation "love to all", and occasionally she says "you that I love you don't you". But my mum has always been there for me and I KNOW that she loves me very much, just isn't as affectionate - like we aren't a hug/kiss family.
I never felt it was real when my biological Dad when he said it, sorry "Dad" but I can't feel that you love me when you wanted me terminated ....... That you continues to retain a closer relations ship with my older brother and sister and that you didn't give a crap about me for 7 years, by making no contact at all for birthdays and christmas, or any other time of the year.
But... my Step dad, I can't remember him saying it, although I KNOW that he does, and I KNOW that he would do anything for me, he has always been there for me, and it took me a long time to trust and accept that he wasn't going to **** off and leave us high and dry. I would do anything for my SD, he is 'da bomb'
So even though I haven't been told it a lot, I want my daughter to hear it with strength and conviction that we do you her and we want her to be able to say it, feel it and believe it. There is saying I lvoe you and really meaning it, I think those two things are quite different, my "dad" says it, but I don't believe him and I probably never will.
Do you tell them?
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) but yeah, to actually verbalise it is VERY awkward for me.
....... That you continues to retain a closer relations ship with my older brother and sister and that you didn't give a crap about me for 7 years, by making no contact at all for birthdays and christmas, or any other time of the year.
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