Does your DH/DP give your LO as much attention as you would like?

[amberj]

I'm wondering if this is only my DH, or its a male thing. I should start by saying that DH is a really wonderful father and DS adores him, so this is not a major complaint- just something that niggles at me sometimes.

I often find myself wishing DH would give DS more of his attention, instead of playing with his iPod/ computer/ telly etc. I feel like DH doesn't engage in interacting with DS a lot when we're all home (I *think* he's quite good when its just he and DS home together). As an example, after dinner and before DS's bath, I like to get down on the floor and play with DS, and DH will sit on the couch and be involved in something else. I try to pull DH in and help him join in, but its like trying to move concrete. The thing that really, really kills me is that DS looks at him for a response and gets none, or tries to go up to him and pull him in, and DH kind of gives the minimum.

It really breaks my heart to think that DS feels rejected by his daddy. I think perhaps I am too sensitive about this- probably some childhood issues there- so I don't really trust my judgement here. Maybe DS doesn't feel rejected at all and I am projecting!

DH isn't always like this- often he's great, but he's "detached" enough to upset me. I've tried talking to him about it, but it doesn't change. I've tried encouraging him when he plays with DS ("Oh, he loves that so much- look how much he looks up to his daddy")- no changes.

I suspect other guys are like this- am I right? Or is this actually a matter for concern?

[MrsFabuloso]

My DH can be similar if he's doing something he's involved in. He can ignore the kids unlike I can. I just can't ignore them calling me and I hear everything they say and every sound they utter, all the time, no matter if I'm involved in doing something else or not. I think it's just the way men are programmed. They aren't able to do two things at a time, so if your HD is involved with his computer or whatever, he is just not able to be listening to your DS too.
Have you tried just asking him outright to sit with you both for 15mins before he goes off to do his own thing. I know my DH like time to be able to unwind after work. He will help me bath and dress the kids but then he wants time to be by himself for a while. Which I can understand. He has just worked 12+ hours and wants to have a few mins to think!! If you havne't brought it up with him he may not realise he's doing it and might think he's paying attention and playing?

[feeb]

I hear you!! I am always saying to DH he needs to play more with DS1, as he does the same watches TV or is on lap top when he could be o floor playing with DS1.

I do think it is a male thing as many friends say the same about there DH. With DS2 he holds him for a while then puts him down so he can type 2 handed or what ever.

[Rouge]

If you are concerned then you have reason to be concerned. We share our time with the kids equally. If I'm on the computer or DH is on the computer then the kids are occupied, if they aren't then we'll spend time with them. But they also have each other so they tend to play a lot together. But when they were little we engaged more because it was what they needed and they didn't have their own activities iykwim?