Is it just me or do you feel the same??

[mum2zarius]

Ok so i work 3 shifts a week 2 shifts are 12.30 - 2.30 pm mon & Tues and the other shift is Sat night 5pm - 3 am... hubby doesnt work is it just me or is spending every sinlge day doing the same crap each day annoying and gets under your skin.. i am at a point as to whether or not to get my own house for myself and our son and he stays in his own house and try and get some life back.. i am going through a stage where i am starting to resent him and not want him any where near me physically or sexually i am soo scared to tell himm this as it always ends getting turned around to make him the victom.. Or another sugestion that my mum gave me was to go on a holiday with just my son and myself some where nice for a week... i dunno i am at a point where things arent making sense in my head or my heart they are both so torn....

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

I'm not sure what you mean when you mean doing the same thing is it in the sense you spend a bit of time together but it's just the same old same old or as in you going to work him bring home?

Can you talk about doing something different as a family? Have a night a week to yourself or as a couple?
A holiday like your mum said?


Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

[little_O]

Hey Hun

You sound like you're doing an awesome job. Can DH not work, or does he choose not to? Does he take charge of the domestic front?

I think the week away may be a good idea to just clear your head. At least then if you relax and come back to the situation you might be able to talk to him calmly about how you feel without him being able to pull the victim card.

x

[mum2zarius]

Hey Hun

You sound like you're doing an awesome job. Can DH not work, or does he choose not to? Does he take charge of the domestic front?

I think the week away may be a good idea to just clear your head. At least then if you relax and come back to the situation you might be able to talk to him calmly about how you feel without him being able to pull the victim card.

x

I think it is more that he doesnt want to work... i know he has an issue with his shoulder dislocating even after a surgery.. and no he sits and does nothing really i get home from my weekday shifts and he asks whats for dinner ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i try not to snap or go off even though i want to so bad i dont...

[mum2zarius]

Misty - with the idea of moving out is exactly what you said by him being interested when he sees me having fun and enjoying life and on the other hand i wanna give him a wake up call to what he has to lose, as i feel a little unapreciated and taken for granted... and my ways to feeling whole is totally different to his, he uses sex to feel better where with me its the simple things of showing compassion when you need it and care, love and acceptance.. and i just think if he lost what he has he would relise that. and i also think it might stop me from resenting him at the same time having my own space...

Zarava - that is my biggest problem i feel i cant talk to him with out it all being misconstruded and turned and twisted and feel secure about talking to him..

[janzward]

Hi,

I don't mean to pry but I divorced my husband for the same reasons. He needs to get his @ss up and move to support the family not the other way around. In my opinion only its not how it should be. you are working hard and doing the same thing everyday. You need a break as well a short vacation would do it. But as for your husband you guys need to talk about this through if you are willing to work it out, otherwise it would be best to get your own space and live without him. Some men do not have sense of responsibility and needs a wake up call. If that doesn't work then there is no hope from him.

[mum2zarius]

What i meant by same thing.. is yeah the boring same old every day arguements and bickering or not even talking to eachother he is on his computer and i am chasing our lil man around or im watching tv.. its like nothing is there anymore between us... its like we are 2 flat mates living together.

[misty]

Why do you need to move out to get your life back?
If it is honestly just resentment and boredom at being stuck in the same routine, day in day out (I completely understand that and have been there), then you can make changes to that routine. If your DH isn't willing to accomodate you, then leave him behind (he will likely start getting interested once he sees you having fun). Make some friends, join a club / group. take up a sport or a hobby. reach out and do something you wouldn't normally do, meet people you wouldn't normally meet. Just because your DH doesn't want to change his routine, doesn't mean you cannt change yours.

If on the otherhand, there is some deeper issue within your relationship making you consider leaving, well that is a whole other kettle of fish.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

DP and I have had those issues, it wasn't until a BIG fight and FINALLY talking through some things we realised we both needed to work on a few things.
All I can suggest is having a big open & honest chat to each other.
What you find annoying etc, what he finds annoying, how you can BOTH work
On certain aspects, try new things etc. it takes time but it can be worth it of that's what you want.


Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

[TeniBear]

I hope this isn't how DH sees me. We're pretty much the same, only in reverse and with him working a hell of a lot more