okay
i have a few concerns about my ds who is 5 and at kinder off to school next year. first a bit of background why i am concerned. he is quite a giving child (eg a kid will come up and take something and he will generally let them have it) he does whinge to me if someone is upsetting him, like he wants me to stand up and protect him - you know tell the other kid off and let jay have what he wants. jay tends to stand back and is not the sort of kid that seems to be the leader iykwim he just blends in. anyway's my concerns have come about as a good friend has a 9yr old whose temperament is very similar to jay's, this boy is a lovely kid and you really would be proud to be a parent to him, however this does not help him at school the things that are happening to him are terrible - name calling etc etc - he generally just plays on his own now, like the other day when he suddenly got set upon my a group of kids - he was beaten up and even blacked.

i can see that jay may tend to get picked on a bit as i have always tried to bring him up to be nice, respectful and gentle (i do admit i have wrapped him in cotton wool since the death of his sister) anyway today he was really quiet after kinder i asked if something happened he said a kid hit him in the tummy for no reason, i asked him what he said and he told the boy to stop i don't like that (this is what i have told him to say in the past) but frankly i don't think this will cut it at school, bullies aren't going to listen are they. i also don't want him running off to tell the teacher - doesn't want to be seen as a dobber i suppose okay for now but not in a few years time.

anyway i told him tonight that if anything like that ever happens again to tell the person to stop right away and warn them if they don't he will hurt them back and if they continue i told him to twist their ear, i made sure he understood it was only if he was being hurt by another child and nothing he said would make them stop. do you think i have advised him wrong. to tell you the truth i think i would rather be the parent of a bully than a parent of a child that is bullied iykwim. i dread to think what is going to happen at school.

input on how to handle these sorts of situations would be invaluable to me. i don't think teachers really can do much, i mean this friend of mine's son took himself to the nurse at school and his bloody teacher didn't even realise he was missing (pvt school and 13 in the class) wtf there should be more supervision as far as i am concerned..

okay off my soapbox now.