to the single parents....

Hi Everyone :wave:
Just thought i might join in if anyone still posts here??
I'm single mum to Lilly and have been since before i even knew i was pregnant! Would love to chat to any other single mums if you're still out there? :lol:

I am still aroud too LOL Just got sick of talking to myself on here LOL

Welcome Shell and Lily!

Its nice to see some faces in here.

Oh and Kathryn so rapt to see yiou are pg too Congrats!!

cheers mcihelle

Hey everyone!!

I'm still here, I've just recently moved back to the counrty where I grew up and all my family are. My sis had her first baby 6 weeks ago, Jaiden, and he's adorable. Ashlea is 4 1/2, just started kinder down here and is loving being close to all her family again. I'm about to set up work from home for a while, I'm a massage therapist and have heaps of friends that want to start seeing me which is great.

Life is wonderful and i'm so so happy at the moment, which is a far far cry from the time i started this thread over a year ago!

I've been seeing a fantastic guy for 6 months now and he's fitting into the whole 'single parent' thing so well. Ashlea adores him and he is so good to her. He's got the spare room at his place set up for Ashlea when we stay there.

Still have a few issues here and there with Ashlea's dad and his psycho girlfriend, but mostly settled down.

Hope everyone else is fantastic, Kellie hope Paige is settled down and not giving you too much of a hard time!

Welcome to the new mums in here, and Michelle its great to see you around, hope you and your family are all great!!

HI girls

I am LOL cos I realised that I crashed this forum and didn't even look at the title LOL I thought this was the forum for kids Jemmas age, that's why I addressed Kathryn, it's your fault stardragon, you confused me LOL

I am unwell atm, lol and the brains not working well.

Dee- where did you move to? I am so glad to see you here and hear all is well, good on you you deserve good things in your life.

I can tell you I admire you girls who are doing it on your own, it's hard to not get time out but you all work hard
cheers michelle

Michelle, you can come hang with us anytime you like!!

Kellie, Ashlea is like a teenager too, she's got the atitude all worked out at the tender age of 4. She's so much like me its terrible! I only wish she would sleep in!
She's been really good lately, then today had some major blow out and was a little cow all day. Thank god she is in bed now!!!

Its scary when they're so much like you aren't they Kel!! I dread the teenage years when shes like this already!

She's in bed now having a sleep with her 6 week ould cousin who is also asleep. He's staying with me for a few hours while my sis gets some things done. They look so cute on a big matress together in the playroom!

I don't know how people do it with 2 kids though!!!! I'm warn out already!

dont think ive posted in here before so thought id say hi - ive been on my own since jan & things are going well
there are times when it is hard by myself which im sure you all know about but generally i love the ways things are
eliana keeps me busy & entertained - guess the next big hurdle is TT!!!

Hello, just wondering if I can join in here? While I am supposed to be back together with DF, it's complicated and I feel more like a single parent. We rarely see each other and as bad as I feel to admit it, I'm happier this way. I live with my Mother so I do get a bit of help, but she works f/t & I don't like to ask for help too much!

I feel so proud of my DS, I absolutely adore him.

Although im not a single parent anymore, sometimes i feel like one since dh works all the time and leaves the child rearing up to me. Im glad all you guys are happy... im sorry ill write more later. I just dont know what to write... going thru a hard patch and cant write much as i know dh comes on here to see what i write..

Hey everyone, just wanting to know how everyones going?
Ashlea turned 5 last week, and i feel like an old old mum now (at the age of 25!!)
She's got into the school next year i wanted her to go to so very happy about that, she is so so excited!

I'm still loving living back in the country, my nephew Jaiden is 7 months now and he hangs with me from 9 - 1 each day while sis is back at work part time. I love it! I'll be starting work once Ashlea is at school, its been nice to take this year off and spend some time with her.

Ashlea learnt to ride her bike without training wheels a few months ago so she got a great new bike for her birthday. Apart from a few bhaviour probs we've been having that have been posted about in another thread, we're all going great.

Still seeing the same great guy, it'll be a year next week. He's great with Ashlea, and really I shouldnt take the credit for teaching her to ride the bike without training wheels cause he did most of the teaching and helping :)

I hope everything is well for everyone else too :D

Well done, Dee, COngratulations on the 'ALMOST' year! And good on Ashlea for learning to ride!

Well I've separated from XH as of 13 October, he's still really upset about it, but I know it is the best thing for me and the boys. I don't want them growing up to think that the relationship between their Mum and Dad is "normal" or "good", so I've moved to Mum and Dads, where I'll be staying for a while.

We're sharing the kids, as we both work, and I (as a family lawyer) believe that at this stage sharing is the best thing for the kids, as they get to see both parents almost every day.

I'm actually really happy about the whole situation. So I'll move in here and chat with all you guys!

Divvy, good to see your happy and doing well. It certainly must help being a family lawyer at a time like this! I'm still having issues wit Ashlea's dad and finalising the papers. I'd love for him to *want* shared custordy of Ashlea so she could spend more time with him but he's always been happy to have fer for a day here and there to convince himself he's the best dad in the world and happily leaves everything else up to me. Work and his stupid GF still take priority over Ashlea most of the time but, oh well, Ashlea and I are doing fine the way it is :)

Can I ask how you share the time with the kids? I've heard of people doing two weeks on and off, and other people where the kids stay with dad mon tuesday and thursday nights and the mum the other nights etc. Just wonder how you and your ex manage the split time?

Keep looking after yourself and the kids :)

We're doing this:
Sunday Monday and Wednesday nights with me, Tuesday and Thursday nights with XH, and alternating Friday/Saturday nights.

So basically, routine is: Monday Mum, Tuesday Dad, Wednesday Mum, Thursday Dad, Friday Dad, Saturday Dad, Sunday Mum, Monday Mum, Tuesday Dad, Wednesday Mum, Thursday Dad, Friday Mum, Saturday Mum, Sunday Mum.

Well done Divvy, sounds like its' working out well, how are the boys coping with it????

I know a lady whom had a baby & she had him for the first 3 years (no contact with the Dad at all), then sent him to live with his Dad for 3 yrs & refused to have any contact with him til the 3 yrs was up..... It was absolutely mind boggling.... I really do not suggest it as the poor boy had no idea who anyone was... Infact I'd just plain call it cruel, he's now 14 or 15 & has no really relationship with either parent, just lives in a house with a person til they are sick of him....

Tracey that sounds awful! how could you do that to a child??

Divvy, it sounds like its all working well for you and the x. Like Tracey said, how are they kids coping with it all? Ash was a little older then Ned when her dad and I spilt up and she's coped with it quite well most of the time.

Alex had a hard time of it to start with, but is much better now.

Ned is starting to sleep better, which is super, he only wakes twice or three times a night now, instead of 20+ when I was with XH, and really stressed/anxious.

Hopefully everything will stay as easy as it is now. I almost think I could have initiated the split earlier if I knew it was this easy!

Divvy, I remember when I split up with Ash's dad my biggest fear was $$ and I was so stressed until I went to centrelink and figured out that yes I could live on my own! After that I thought the same, why did it take so long of me being unhappy to finally do something about it. Everything became so easy and simple (for a while til the nutty girlfriend started her cr@p!!!!)

Its like they say, the kids do adjust in the end, really they have no choice do they?? I always say its better to have a happy mum and a (eventually) happy dad seperatley than two unhappy parents together :)

ONly if the blimey bloke can actually understand that "I'm NOT coming back" actually means "I'M NOT COMING BACK!!!"

GRRRRR!

hahaha Divvy. My ex was the same for a few months after we broke up, and when he finally figured it out, he was with a new girl by the end of the week and moved in together after 3 weeks. (the psycho gf everyone has heard about over the past few years)

Div, i agree... wish they would just get on with life, like we're trying to do!!

Well, i have chucked XH out of the house, he was meant to be living at his dad, but everyday found a reason to stay here. So he's only allowed over here in the afternoon, has to leave as soon as the kids are in bed. (by 8pm) That gives me time to jump on BB and relax before anneliese wakes for her 10/11pm feed, then off to sleep. Got a good routine down pat now

Simone, well done to standing your ground on that, its best for everyone when there are clear boundaries i believe.
How are you and your ex getting along? Are you guys working things out or is it more final??

Take care of yourself and the kids :)

Well done Simone. Make sure it's best for YOU not for HIM!

We are going to try counselling, at his insistance, but i have made him agree that if i give it a good shot, and we still arent working things out, that he will leave, no questions asked.

Either that or i can ask him to leave after Xmas. He just doesnt want to do this to the boys just before xmas.

Simone, give yourself and the kids the best Chrissy present they could get...free of that man! You have a choice: stay with him when you know you are at risk and are unhappy, or tell him to leave and get police help etc. You have a choice, girly - that's a good thing, you just have to do it :)

he just makes me feel so guilty for wanting to leave...

When he is the one who should feel guilty for not leaving when asked...after all the damage he has done and will continue to do...

Im sorry IK, i know you were so happy when i told you he left...

Don't be sorry for me - you're not doing it for me, chicky. I'm just in your cheer squad! You answer only to yourself and the kids in the end, no apologies are necessary anywhere else.
No-one could want to stay in the situation you are in, so it's up to you to get the wheels into motion. Do you know how much it sux that I can't just go in there and say "she's kicking you out, thanks very much for getting yourself out and sorting out the divorce in a civil fashion"? But that's the way it is - you have so much power, but for now you are choosing not to use it - find it and use it, if that's what you want to do :)
It IS frustrating that you keep taking him back, but I'm not going to leave you in the cold and stop talking to you! You'll just have to put up with me repeating myself!:hug:
You're a great single parent, too - you do what other women would shudder to think about, and you do it very well. I know it's no walk in the park, so to you and the other girlies here, :clap: and :thumbsup:

Thanks IK. After Xmas im going to have another chat with him, even if i have to move out... i have that help number on my fridge, and the number for a shelter...

Simone, just like IK says, its a desciion you have to make for yourself, and although i dont completely know your situation, i've just followed your story in bits and pieces here on BB, from what i have heard/read, I personally agree that leaving your partner is the best thing for you and your kids. My best friend was in a sitaution sililar to yours and it was hell to sit back and watch her get hurt over and over and be put through so much cr@p

Thank god its all over with her now, but we just worry about friends when they are in situations like this

You know we'll do anything to help, just stya strong, you don't need to be with someone like him

Take care :)

By the way, Where is Kellie??????

I haven't seen Kellie in a while...

Im at a point in my life where i feel so deflated i just cant be bothered. I know that seems awful, and makes me seem like a bad mum who doesn't care about her kids, but ive just had enough. I love my kids more than anything, but i just dont feel strong enough to leave anymore. I have no family over here, a few IRL friends, and im just so worn down some days i feel like giving up...

Simone, your not a bad mum at all! Stop being so hard on yourself! Its sad for you as a person, not a wife, not a mum, but you, that you feel so 'stuck' in that place. I do understand though, life can be tough, and being a single mum, esspecially with three little ones is even tougher. Having no family is hard too. I stayed with Ashlea's dad for longer than i should have because it was easier to put up with the crap and being unhappy than to make such a huge change. I personally couldn't be happier than when I finally kicked him out.

Everyone just wants you to be happy because you deserve to be :)

thanka dee, you're gonna make me cry if ur not careful!! :)

Well, some of you would have heard all the drama's over the past few years with Ashlea's dad's crazy psychotic girlfriend who has been a constant pain in my @ss since they got together, and done anything she can to cause troblue with me and ashlea's dad, and also upset Ashlea so so so many times...
Well I'm so so happy to tell you all that christmas was the breaking point to their pathetic excuse for a relationship and they broke up :D
he told me it was coming for a long time and that it was for the best and blah blah blah. There were alot of drama's while they were down for christmas, and now I'm just so happy that Ashlea doesn't have to be anywhere near the nasty cow anymore !!!

Yay!! finally the wicked b*tch is gone!! What a great chrissy present for you guys :) Now lets hope they dont get back together...

Dee - surely the chrissy angels where watching over you this christmas...congratulations omg I have "ding dong the b*&^h" is gone singing in my head! What a lovely chrissy present for both you and Ashlea.

thats why i wrote wicked b*tch kerry... had the same tune going on!!

haha you're both spot on, all though i can think of much worse that suits her better :D

So could i, but this IS a family orientated forum dee LOL hahaha

Kellie, we still love ya, and we miss ya!! Pop in here more often... We were starting to wonder if you'd left us forever!!

Things arent great here, but im surviving...