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Thread: to the single parents....

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
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    VIC
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    985

    Default to the single parents....

    Hey, i have been thinking alot lately and going through some cr@p, and been really down about things like having no family around, feeling alone and stuff. Up until recently i lived with a friend after Ashlea's dad and i split about 2 years ago, and am now living by myself. I've been seeing great guy for a while, so i guess i started to depend on him alot since moving out alone, and it was all great. Now he is heading overseas in a few weeks for a year or something so obviously all thats ending soon. Its been really hard this past week knowing he's going. We see each other and its all perfect, but then every time he leaves its really hard for us cause we know soon we will be saying goodbye for good. I've never had any type of relationship end on a good note where we arent together anymore cause we dont want to be, but because of circumstances like this.
    During the day everythings great, see friends, play with Ashlea, study and the rest, but im finding sitting at home with Ashlea in bed is starting to get really hard. I've never felt like this before, and just wondering if any other single parents ever get like this?


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Funky Town, Vic
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    7,070

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    When I was on my own with DD, I always found nighttime the hardest. After she was in bed, tidy house, then what?? I was alone without a child hanging on me, and no-one to play with. My phone bill was enormous. You also have lots of quiet time right now to really think and ponder how sad you are going to be when it's time to say goodbye to your man.

    I began to invite a girlfriend or two around for "Wednesday night drinkypoos". We'd just sit around, have a beer or three, cook up a snack and have a gossip and a laugh. If anyone had a child, they would sleep over. It really broke up the week. Soon there was "Friday night drop in", a few people would drop by after work. My home ended up being a very cheery place, full of good vibes. It socialsed DD perfectly and the kids benefitted from the occasional sleepover. Nothing over the top though, just lots of laughs. It changed everything for me, the loneliness was awful before. A few years down the track, more kids, more hrs at work and that doesn't happen anymore. I really really miss it.!!

    Hope the crap goes away soon.

    Lulu

  3. #3
    *Yvette* Guest

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    Hi Dee,

    Yay the single Mums, some of the gutsiest, most resourseful, self reliant and loving mums I've known have been single Mums, me included.

    I've spent a fair bit of time as a single mum on and off between husbands. Just think of all those mums in dud relationships out there who would absolutely love to be you and not have anyone to answer to.

    You can control the tv remote, keep the house exactly how you like it, never be obliged to seek anyone's opinion when you make a decision. And being online is a great link to the outside world.

    If you can afford a baby sitter so you can get out and do something for yourself with other grownups outside the house on a regular basis, that helps a lot. I used to go to choir once a week to keep me sane.

    It's amazing what you can do on your own when you have to isn't it? Enjoy the advantages and take your sweet time browsing for Mr Right. Some people get to like their independence so much they never want to give it up.

    And do you ever get annoyed at the current affairs shows having a bit of a single mother bash from time to time?.....Don't get me started

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Bunbury, WA
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    184

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    Id like to be able to help people out with a bit of really low cost baby sitting... I like babies.. and I know how much I can help people by giving them a chance to get out...

    but sorry.. I live in WA

    (the other prob u can encounter.. is if you're too nice.. u can get taken advantage of..)

    Single mothers can do amazing jobs bringing up children.. My mother was single until I was 13... and im just fine... (well.. better than fine I guess.. im the first in the family to go to uni.. and my aunt told me the other day that I was a good example for my young cousin.. lol)

    Just try and think about the wonderful things you're doing.. Could craft help to keep you busy? It feels wonderful creating things.. If you make gifts etc too.. it can save money... and make wonderful personalised presents.


    K

  5. #5
    Chi-Chi Guest

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    Kellie, so wonderful to read your post. Praise the Single Mothers =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

    As much as it is important & necessary (& fun sometimes) to have a vent & whinge & bag men & complain about it being tough...

    It is so wonderful & liberating & confidence building to share & celebrate the great things about being a single mum.

    *I love that I don't have to answer to anyone & can make decisions by myself & for myself & my daughter

    *I love having my bed to myself to sleep in, to read until 2am if I want, to have cups of tea & eat toast in bed...to sleep on the diagonal

    *I love being messy when I feel lazy without feeling like I have to tidy up before 'he' gets home (without having to hear "what have you been doing all day?"

    *I love that when I tidy up & clean it stays that way

    *I love not having to pick up after a man & the resentment that goes with it

    *I love being able to go where I want & come home when I want

    *I love to take the credit for doing it on my own & doing it well!

    And I'm sure there's more...
    Let's be sure to accentuate the positives ladies \/

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    970

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    great post cheech, you are a very strong lady, that is obvious, i really admire the attitude you have - good on you!

  7. #7
    Chi-Chi Guest

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    Min, that is so sweet, thankyou.

    I don't always have a positive attitude. In fact I was upset this morning having to send my child to family or friends on the school holidays so I can work, when I'd really rather spend the time with her.

    But as much as I can, I am trying to be grateful for what I have!

    "Always look on the bright side of life!" :whistle: :whistle: :whistle:

  8. #8
    *Yvette* Guest

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    Onya girls! Single mums are brave & strong. Lol @ reading til 2am, I always feel guilty when I'm engrossed in a book & DH feels ignored.

  9. #9
    Chi-Chi Guest

    Default

    OK, I thought of something else...

    (only a little thing, but hey, it works for me)

    I Love that I can watch "crappy" tv like Neighbours or the OC without being picked on or having to justify it. And I never have sport on my telly, ever!

    Also, I can read NW or Who Weekly or whatever & gossip on the phone with girlfriends about who's skanky & who's on with who & who looks fabulous...without be interrupted, or getting this :roll:

    Ladies, if you other single mums want to add to my list, feel free!

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Funky Town, Vic
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    7,070

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    I was on my own for about 8 yrs before I got married, when I left him I was SSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to being on my own again. I'm still finding it hard to re adjust with current DP.
    I have always thought a perfect world would have boys living on one side of the street and girls on the other.

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    VIC
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    Default

    Lulu, i miust admit, now that things have settled dowm im back to loving living on my own, and doing my own thing when and how I want.
    Thanks everyone for all your replies!! My friends have all been fantastic lately, they've been all coming here when there is no one to look after Ashlea, and its great to have some adult company around, but then its also nice to have my own 'me' time when they're gone
    And after having freinds over this weekend, and having to share my bed, i remembered how much I HATE sharing my bed and love having it all to myself!

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