What do you call your MIL?

[Teeki]

Ok, I mean besides 'that cranky old cow who disagrees with everything I say"! Lol just kidding

I just call my inlaws by their first names, and DH is the same with my parents. Growing up, my parents were the same. My dance teacher, she and her DH both call both sets of parents Mum & Dad - I never could tell who was whose actual parents. My Mum was pretty opinionated about it, she thought it was ridiculous and that you should never call anyone but your own parents Mum & Dad.

That seems to have changed now though! My Nana (Mum's Mum) passed away two and a half years ago. Mum really didn't handle it well - especially as her sister passed away only three months earlier. It was a rough time. Anyway, she has now taken to calling my other Nana Mum. I'm thinking it's because she doesn't have her own mum anymore, but it's a complete backflip. They never got on *that* well, but now there are loads of FB status updates and messages between the two, both referring to Nana as "Mum" and how much she loves her.

Should I talk to my Mum? I mean just seeing as though she was always so against the idea, could it be that she's really missing her own mum or something? It could be nothing, or could it mean something more? It seems to me like she's trying to replace her own mum

[jaspen]

my parents called both sets of my grandparents mum and dad unless they were present together and then it was only mum and dad for the "actual" parent if that makes sense.
i call my inlaws by their first name as does my DH wrt my parents.

[megs]

I call my MIL by her first name. Although now that we have had kids I tend to call the Nan and Pa half the time as I'm referring to them in front of the kids and its easier.

I was seeing a guy ( long term relationship) and they expected me to call them Mum and Dad, and I honestly just couldn't do it, it didn't feel at all right and must say I got annoyed that they expected me too. Hence to say that relationship didn't last.

[Amity]

The outlaws.

Well they did call me the d e f u c k t o.... to my face, in public...

They were really good to me (even after separation) until the XH moved in with them and it all became too hard.

[Teeki]

Far out Divvy, that's horrible! I wouldn't blame you for any choice names that got thrown back their way!

Yeah that's the thing Megs, I can only imagine the reaction I'd get if I started calling my inlaws Mum & Dad - it wouldn't go down well!! That and like you, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with it

[Phteven]

I use first names.

[feeb]

First names as DH does to mine.

[Lulliloo]

i use first names... i know one of my sil's calls her mil mum... i just can't do it ... i have a mum already.

[indie24]

I call them by their first names. Even though mum is no longer with us I could never call MIL "mum" She isn't my mum.

[Catastrophic]

I shudder every time i think of her name, so I don't say it at all... " " is exactly what she is.

[kimmi]

By their first names. My partner calls my parents the same. I love my in-laws to bits, but I only have ONE mother and father...

[aussienic]

I am shocking. I was brought up to always call someone older then you by Mr, Mrs or Miss lol.. I find it hard to call my MIL by her first name. Only been with he son for almost 16 years

Like tonight I rang and FIl answered and instead of asking for her by name I just asked for the lady of the house is a silly voice..

[Arimeh]

Um I don't call them anything...
I just start convos with "heyyyyyy..."

[mad4e]

Um I don't call them anything...
I just start convos with "heyyyyyy..."

I do the same thing
Df calls my mum 'mum' and has been since we moved in together. But I could NEVER call his parents mum and dad, i usually refer to them as df's mum and dad rather than using there names

[sloane]

i call mine by their first names although now i might call them gran or grandpa if DS is around.

my dad grew up away from family & never really had a mother figure. he was apparently really uncomfortable calling my mum's mum anything until i came along & then he felt happy to call her gran.

[Teeki]

Lol Nic, there are certain people I can't bring myself to call anything other than Mr or Mrs, even though they insist I call them by their first name - I think once you start it's very hard to break!

I actually think that sounds wonderful Yeddi - and I get the thing around family. Yes, they are family, but I dunno. To me it just seems that there's only one "Mum" & "Dad". It's too bad really that there's not another name for the inlaws - instead of calling them mum & dad or just their first names.

Thanks Raffy. I might just bring it up casually, and I guess if there is anything behind it that she wants to talk about then she can take it from there. It's really only strange because it's so recent and until then she was so opinionated about it not being done.

[Cranky Kitten]

Mmm, I'd simply ask about it in your position. Almost casually but still gently if that makes sense?

I call my in-laws by their first names, we get along really well but Mum to me is my own mum - who does routinely get called "mother dear" as well, to her amusement.

[StrawberryFields]

I call them by their first names if I use names at all. I kinda agree with your mum Kaytee, I don't think its really appropriate - unless you've lost your own parents or something equivalent. But that's just my opinion.

MIL wants me to call them mum and dad but considering there are times I don't even call my own parents mum and dad, I think she needs to accept that its never going to happen.

My mother will occasionally call my Nan (dad's mum) Mum but very rarely, and its only been since she lost her own mother. Dad always called grandpa (mum's dad) dad, but he lost his father when he was a teenager so he hadn't had a dad himself for a very long time.