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Hi mums,
Me again. I'm writing a feature for an australian glossy parenting mag about age-gaps!
I would love to hear your stories - the goods and bads of having the gaps that you did between kids. What you'd change, what you love. Even tips on coping with the down-sides would be really good.
Please give me your name, where you're from, your kids names - obviously the age gaps between them! If you are unhappy with revealing private info, I can change names.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Rachel x
Last edited by Trillian; January 4th, 2009 at 05:30 PM.
we kelly 23 and alex 37 currently have 2 kids TTC # 3. our age gap is 7 years we live in teh southern highlands in nsw.
i am a registere nurse work 2 jobs and do shift work and hubby works fro integral energy, so 5 days a week
cody was 7 when little taylah was born. its good and abd.
good because he is a great help and loves playing but abd because you cant go to teh once place for entertainment, taylah wont sit through a movie or play fotty or ride bikes so we cant take her or we haev to not go or i go and she stays with dad.
and likewise cody is over playing in ball pits and going to baby play groups and staying in teh wadding pool. its tough sometimes and a strain as cody loves being crafty but tay destroys it as she just has to get into it and try it ehrself.
its getting easier now as she is into drawing and painting but she doesnt quite get the this is my page that is codys to her its all her pages lol and can make for some funny times when cody gets cranky lol
Since i only have one I thought Id post my mothers instead if thats ok.
My mum is 38 with 5 kids.
Im 19
Nicola is 14
Tealah is 11
Kacey is 8
And Keisha is 4
The issue for my mum is that as i have moved out of home and have my own son she has no help (shes a single mum). My mum works fulltime and with Keisha just starting prep next year it has been hard for her. My brother Kacey has special needs so his appointments keep her very busy and as such Nicola, Tealah and I tend to be left out.
My name is Anna, I live in Townsville (my husband is military) and I have 2 boys Jett (2 born Sept 2006) and Ripley (1 born January 2008) with one on the way in early April (another boy - River) - all a 15mth age gap! I never saw myself as one of those mothers rushing around a shopping centre with a gaggle of toddlers in tow but I love it lol
We had originally planned on 3 or more year age gaps between kids but after a 2yr battle with infertility and 2 miscarriages we finally had our first, and after some discussion decided it would be beneficial to aim for a close gap due to our issues.
To be honest I was terrified because everyone only ever publicises or talks about the difficulties of very close age gaps but Ive found it to be quite the opposite! My only problem was that my second pregnancy was very difficult (pre term labour scares, long hospital stays and such) which put added pressure on myself with a under-12mth old to deal with as well as my husbands job requiring us to be away from family help but we managed with support of friends and some delegating. Its the only real issue Ive found with the closeness, the elder child/ren being too young to understand difficult situations like sickness, pregnancy etc Some days with my pregnancy issues or being ill it was a barely-managed day of just aiming to feed my little one and myself.
But I wouldnt change our decision for anything, the boys are now 2 and 1, and things have gotten a whole lot easier, its a beautiful thing to see them spend time together and be into similar stages as a twosome. We've managed to avoid the jealousy and clinginess that comes with a new sibling because our eldest was too young to remember a time of being a one-and-only. We really look forward to being able to take them places together and not have a division of age/interests, once their all over 3 there is nothing we wont be able to do as a group. Its also partly a selfish decision so to speak, I feel that its important for mothers and parents as a couple to be able to get some time back for themselves AFTER kids like they had pre-kids and I feel that big age gaps would make that hard for us. You get one child independent and some semblence of an adult life back only to have to backtrack through the newborn/teething/toilet training/terrible toddlerhood stage again. With our age gap, my life wont be in a holding pattern for years as the 'little kid' stage is done and dusted in literally a few years, the boys will be manageable and independent as a group and all follow on to school one year after the other so I can still go ahead with my plans to study midwifery at University and some travel. This time round its so much easier pregnancy wise so two toddlers and a big belly has been a breeze! I have moments of panic at the thought of dealing with two toddlers and a newborn as thats probably what I found the most daunting stage; coordinating feeds, naps and outings on very little sleep. Time flies though and the bad days that every parent has regardless of age gap become a distant memory. In the end, different age gaps work for different people, its all about looking at what you aim to get out of your life as a parent and having 3 under 3 suits our plans
What are your age-gaps? - Required for Article
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