Feeling a bit resentful...

[SiarasMummy]

I posted here a few weeks back about deciding to formula feed my baby due to having had a recent breast reduction. Part of why I didn't want to BF was due to still having painful scars from the surgery and also having been back to hospital twice since the surgery with infections - which is why I just wanted to 'leave my boobs alone'.
The other part of why I decided against BF is because my plastic surgeon told me I would likely need a follow up procedure if I was to BF again as they would likely sag or change shape...and she also said I have a higher chance of getting mastitis.

Anyway, I had my beautiful baby boy nearly 2 weeks ago now and from the first day my Husband was putting pressure on me to try and BF him. He kept saying things like 'I'm not pressuring you, but I've been reading a lot about BF and it is the healthiest thing for him' and 'If it was me, I would give my right arm to my baby if it was the best thing for him'.

So, as you can imagine I was feeling REALLY guilty. I am now expressing every 3 hours and whilst it is uncomfortable due to my surgery and NOT what I wanted, I am doing it to keep my Husband happy and to avoid feeling anymore guilt about it.

I must admit, I do feel good about giving him my milk (he is still on formula as well though as I am not producing enough for him) but a HUGE part of me is feeling rather resentful of being forced in to it.

Since my milk came in my boobs are obviously heavier and to me they already look saggy. I have also noticed some stretch marks on my boobs. I know some people may think I'm being superficial but I went through a LOT to be happy with the way my boobs look (I was previously a very saggy 14H) and I feel really peeved off that I have had to go through this as well now.

I know where my Husband is coming from, of course I already know the benefits of BF - but I am just really disappointed that he hasn't really taken my feelings in to account before he opened his mouth. To get my breast reduction I worked hard to lose 30kg, went through a 4 hour surgery and several weeks recovery, was back in hospital on two occasions due to infections and they had only just got better when I found out I was pregnant. Surely if anyone should understand why I decided to formula feed it should be my Husband when he was there through everything???

Just wanted to vent a bit...