With DD, I bf/ff from birth. I had a long and difficult birth, haemmoraged, had pain relief drugs which made me and DD sleepy. The midwife asked if she could give her a bottle and I just couldn't be bothered arguing. I tried to bf once I felt a little more up to it and while she suckled, she had a terrible latch. I saw the LC and was forever calling the midwives to help me feed her. She absolutely shredded my nipples and I had blisters and cracks all over them. I pumped in hospital on the LC's advice, as well as being on motillium to help with milk supply (which was slow to come in as I was so badly anaemic, even after recieving 4 units of blood, from losing so much blood at birth), and one night I remember I fed DD then pumped and saw that the bottle was half full of blood. DD then projectile vomited blood everywhere. I was horrified, mortified and just so so sad. I stopped bf for a few days again at the suggestion of the LC to rest my nipples, so for those days DD was fully ff and so much happier. I started to try again to bf with nipple shield and the support of the LC, as well as DH. But DD wasn't a good sleeper. DH refused to have her in our bed and I was up all night trying to feed her enough. So I went back to ff, and would bf when I felt I could. I was a nervous wreack and crying all the time. I am pretty sure I had PND. It was really difficult, DD and I both got thrush, then mastitis. My bfing journey with DD was hell, but I persevered for 7 months with combine feeding, until I fell pg with DS and DD refused the breast totally. So I finally gave up. It was such a relief and such a sad day too. I so loved feeding my girl, but it was such a hellish time.
When I had DS, I was terrified of having similar issues, but we had a natural birth, he had a bit of a breast crawl at birth and suckled for about an hour when he was born. From then on, alothough I had sore, blistery nipples for a while, suffered 3 bouts of mastitis and one of thrush, I had a 16mth old toddler to care for too, and had to return to work 3 days a week when he was 5mths old, we had a wonderful easy bfing relationship, compared to DD's. We coslept from birth too which I think made a huge difference, plus DH was tremendously supportive and would take care of DD when he was home and left me to caring for DS, so I could sit on the lounge and feed him for an hour or two if necessary. We bf for 23 months :D
I'm praying with our next bub we have as much as succes as we had with DS, but if not, I will not hesitate to use formula again.

