Starting Out

[BonanzaJellybean]

I haven't heard from my donor in days and Im trying not to stress!

My head is doing sumersaults! What if I've gone to all this expense and he doesn't turn up!

My best mate(BM), confidant and support (-mates since High school and was there when the G/F bashed me then left me!)
keeps telling me not to stress as it can affect Ov. I know this but I think its manefesting in other ways!...I am SO itchy down there it's rediculous! Not a good thing to happen at day 8 of my cycle!


B.M says some of my "what if's" are normal, every potential new mum goes through it, if I didn't I wouldn't be normal! You know the "What if Im a bad mum" stuff!

I just feel so alone right now, venturing out on my own and pushing myself outside my comfort zone. I don't like this uncertainty feeling! (the uncertainty of it working, him turning up, am I doing the right thing?)

I keep telling myself it will be OK.....but will it?

(My intro is posted in that thread. My user name is Bonanzjellybean because 'Even Cowgirls DO get the Blues!') but also because jelly beans are like rainbows!