MD's Radical Life Revision

:leap: WOOT WOO!!

I'm so happy!!!!! This is going to be a good step forward i reckon to any further tests and poking and prodding and treatment that they are going to throw at you...a sign of things to come is what i am getting at ;)

good to hear that things are looking OK. Hopefully the positive news keeps coming. Good luck with that, and facing your inner voice and rising to its challenge. :hug: xo

:dance: Geat news MD! I look forward to hearing more positive news from you throughout your journey. Will you have all your treatment at Mitcham? Keep up the brilliant positive attitude!

MG

At the lymphoma clinic at the RAH, MG. Pity they haven't built the new one yet!! LOL

Thats great news MD! And i love your attitude/outlook on life :hug:. Good luck with achieveing what you desire.

MD what an amazing attitude you have. I wish you well, and hope this is just a blip on the road to complete wellness.

Hugs honey! Good news. THinking of you!

That's great news MaryDean :)

:hug: I'm so glad to hear your good news.

Oh, MD I just read this, but so glad I was able to go from your first post to quickly finding out that things are looking good!!

Glad the results so far were good, will have fingers and everything else crossed when you have the bone marrow biopsy.

Well I had another appt yesterday (to get the fine needle biopsy done on my lumpy boob). Turns out it's still normal tissue, no needle needed. Which was a relief.

Had a huge 15 min freak out after the dr who did the surgery (known only to me as "BEV") patted me on the arm and told me they were talking about my "histopathology" in their meeting that morning. Had an extended replay of the F*****************rk moment after she said that while I waited to see Dr Head Honcho. Turns out - once I finally got the rest of the info - it was a conversation about how totally random the gallbladder thing was, how it's completely unlikely to turn up anywhere else in my body and I *probably* won't need any further treatment (according to Mr Dr Pathologist).

So this afternoon I have my appt at the oncology clinic. The letter they sent informs me I have to go to their (bolded, capital letters) CANCER CENTRE - man couldn't they have called it something different?? (like Radical Life-Review Clinic LOL). So even after they told me all that reassuring stuff yesterday I'm still in a bit of a nervous lather about it today. Still uncomfortable about having *any* association with the "c-word".

MD, you are such an amazing woman! good on you for getting through yesterday with panache and style! (and thanks to all the beings that be that the biopsy showed up normal!). you rock! and YAY! for the Dr Pathologists comments, that has to be heartening to hear such positive thinking from ppl that are usually pretty gloomy.

yeah, cancer centre (apart from the alliteration) doesn't really have much going for it...maybe something like 'hitchhiker discovery centre'...;)

anyway, i am sending happy hugs your way!

xxooooox

That's a couple of bits of great news MD. Fingers crossed it was confined to the GB and that is the last we see of the little so and so.

Yeah i agree, the big C word is a shocker, it should be banned i say. I like radical life review clinic. ;) I was out walking yesterday and saw a local skin cancer clinic, and it was called............. "the barnacle centre" :o

Good luck this arvo. :hug:

Ange, I'm sitting here with tears of laughter at the "Barnacle Centre" :rofl:!

I also like your suggestion Clare. I might mention it at my appointment this afternoon, see if we can get the signs changed! LOL

Sounds like good news MD. :thumbsup: Hang in there.

:rofl: Haha at The Barnacle Centre! Hilarious!

Good luck this afternoon MD

LOL at Radical Life Review Clinic!!

So happy for you MD!!! :hug:
Hoping everything continues down this positive path :)

How did I miss this thread???? Sheesh!!! That's what you get for just relying on "New Posts" to keep you up to speed instead of thoroughly troweling each forum!

Goes without saying that you'll be in my thoughts and prayers too MaryDean! :hug:

Love your perspective though... your awareness alone will make this a "must read" thread for me from now on!!!

Keep us updated!

*more hugs*

Ok, well friday's appt can only be described - even three days later - as CONFRONTING.

I wasn't adequately prepared for the teeming mass of fantastically ill people (except me of course, hehe) all congregrating in the one place. One fabulously depressingly old-in-need-of-refurbishment-public-hospital-green place.

There weren't any consulting rooms available (they'd squeezed me in as an 'extra') so I had a looooong walk down to a treatment room, past what can only be described at The Pit. The Chemotherapy Pit. Imagine 4 stardard 4-bed ward rooms with their walls chopped down half way, each filled with 6 or so large armchair-couches. The entire space was full of people in various states of physical decay all getting their latest round of toxic chemicals pumped in. Obviously some of those people were sicker than others, but none of them wanted to be there, it was not a positive space to be in at all.

The actual consultation was very sobering as well. I suppose it's the Young Doctor's job to be pessimistic (it's his job to think to worst so that they can find what they need to) but there was none of the reassurances that I had from the surgical drs the other day. They are in the business of knowing the worst news so there was no joviality whatsoever. Where's Patch Adams when you need him? Anyway I'm to have some more tests this week...referred to as "staging" tests (to determine the extent/ferocity of any cancer and therefore give it a term like "stage 1" or "stage 4").

So on Wed and Thurs I will be having a bone marrow biopsy (which turns out to be a bigger deal than I thought - with fasting and sedation, and resting afterwards, etc) and a PET scan. Then it's an 8 day wait (for results, they have to consult over my very unusual "presentation"). There's a possibility that the results will either be definitive (detecting very definite signs of lymphoma elsewhere in my body) or unclear (hmm, maybe sorta possibly signs in the bone marrow) so even then it may not be clear cut, in terms of the information they get from the tests. Of course after witnessing The Pit, I'm hoping like hell that chemotherapy - even precautionary - isn't a part of it. So I'll be having a ****load of getting zen for the next fortnight.

Even so, in the midst of all of this - I'm aware that this is an exercise in learning about my fear - and how to put it to one side and walk the path that lies before me. To live life to the very fullest no matter what each day brings. It's easy to get wrapped up in my own little dramas when people all around me live the most extraordinary lives - just a day ago one of my dear friends told me about her sister who is going through yet another round of chemo for her metasticised bowel cancer. Her sister does it with grace and calmness, "gets on with it", gets on with LIFE. My friend commented that if it was her with the diagnosis she would be "curled up in a suicidal ball." She was of course entirely unaware of my situation when she said this. But it made me think. Whenever anything "bad" happens in life, you have a choice - despair, or hope.

I choose hope!!!

Is this thread updating...not sure if anyone can see my previous post??

ETA- ok that looks better now.

MD - :hug: love the new title..... it might have changed the subscription though, I didn't get an email to say you'd updated the thread.
Wow what a bizarre and scary experience. You seem amazingly calm and centred though. Thinking of you and :pray: that you don't need to go there..... full of admiration for the attitude you're bringing to this, you're inspiring. :clap::clap::clap:

MD you are such a strong and wise person - and I am glad but not surprised you are choosing HOPE (do you think this has something to do with miss e's middle name).

It sounds very scary but also as positive as it can be iykwim. i am always thinking of you.
I hope and know that something positive will come (and is already) out of all of this.
Have you told H?
xxxx

PP - I was just thinking while I was writing how significant E's name has become to me - she represents Hope more than I could've imagined when we were naming her! No we haven't told H yet either - none of my parents or close friends know, just keeping a low profile until we have more information. I'm still hoping I'll be able to announce that I HAD this dysfunction in my body but now it's gone, kwim?

Marydean you are such an amazing person and an inspiration. It will haelp you tremendously that you believe in yourself and remain strong. Ikwym about not telling people and waiting for the outcome, i hope and pray you achieve a positive result.

:

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I wasn't adequately prepared for the teeming mass of fantastically ill people (except me of course, hehe) all congregrating in the one place. One fabulously depressingly old-in-need-of-refurbishment-public-hospital-green place.

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Oh MD, I can't tell you just how much I can relate to this. I found myself in a similarly green place a few years back, a 27 year old mum of a 12 month old baby girl, 10 weeks prg with a mass on my ovary which 'needed urgent further investigation'. The women in head scarves were just so surreal to me, I couldn't believe it was ME sitting there with them.

I'll never forget the Dr introducing herself and asking me, making me say out loud, what an 'oncologist' was. It was one of the scariest days of my life.

I have a good feeling about this and I'm sure your story will end as well as mine.

Sending you positive thoughts and prayers. I hope this is over for you soon. :hug:

Wow MD, sounds like a big day. Oncology is never the brightest of places, but remember good stories come from there as well as the bad ones.

If i can help you out with any info about your PET scan let me know. :hug:

I think you are handling this all amazingly well. You continue to impress me lady. ;)

MD - I think someone should film you and make an inspirational film about how to handle lifes hurdles! It's wonderfully inspiring.

Not sure whereabouts in OZ land you are but maybe there are some community organisations looking for projects that you could suggest brightening up the "cancer centre" perhaps even with a new sign with a new name :-)

Oh MD just want you to know that I am thinking of you :comfort:

MD, what a nervewracking experience to go through! You seem like such an inspirational and positive person. Will be thinking of you :hug:

MD, all I can say is, when life hands you lemons, you make Lemonade. Nothing can be gained from wallowing, so be as zen as you possibly can be and I'll be thinking of you over the next few days my love :hug:

On that note Trill, i saw a better saying..... "When life hands you lemons..................... grab the tequila and salt!" ;)

Thanks ladies, it will be lemonade and tequila all the way thru to next week. ;)

I'm madly making lemonade with ya MD. Would love it to be tequila though!!! Thinking of you. :hug:

Fark babe.

TEQUILA!!!

md- i hope you don't think i'm ignoring all this, it's just all a little raw for me having been through it with my mum, so i tend to stick my head in the sand now when i hear the c-word associated with someone i care about. just know that i'm thinking of you, but i find it very hard to talk about....self preservation i guess you'd call it.
i'm so proud of your zen state, your courage....just know i'm thinking of you hun, even if i'm not posting in here a lot xoxo

MD - sending you energy to help you get through this

Actually you may find that the oncology treatment area isn't as stark as first glimpses give you - I used to go weekly with mum for nearly 2 years (and for 10 years before that visiting her haematologist who's rooms are just down the corridor) and the strength and optimism of the people there used to floor me every time I'd walk through the door.

Take things day by day. Nourish your body with good food, good thoughts, good friends. We're all here to give you any support you need, day or night.

MD, I'm bringing the tequila over for you love. Keep that hope in your heart, you are strong, and your strength, wisdom and humour will continue to guide you.

Thinking of you :hug:

Thank you so much everyone.

Rainy - I know you're thinking of me hun, I can "feel" it coming from over there on the mountain! :) No need to visit your pain on account of me my dear friend. Just remember, I'm not having the 'c-word', I'm having an important transformative life event. I really believe that the energy dysfunction now lies behind me, it's all healing and self-awareness for me from now on. :) xxx

Thanks APunks for reframing the chemo thing for me. I'm not sure that it even lies in my path, but if it were going to be something I'd experience, I'm sure it would be a powerful life affirmation (once you get over the initial confrontingness and plunge in). I really hope that this tiny glimpse I have had means that in future I will be able to stand strong and fearless and truly present for others around me who might have to walk this path in a deeper way than I have. The gift of being truly 100% present for another person is the most important thing you can do, ever, in life. APunks, what a powerful gift you gave when you were there for your mum in such a deep way when she needed you. xxx

Well I had the bone marrow biopsy this morning - I was very anxious about the sedation aspect - about being too drugged to respond in the event of feeling distressed. However, the anaesthetist was a wonderfully warm and reassuring woman who explained beforehand that the drugs are used specifically to avoid distress. She was accompanied by an 'extra' who just happened to be a gun at getting a cannula in first go. :D I recall chatting and joking with them as they were prepping me, and while I was going under, then nothing at all until they told me they were finished. Apparently I talked throughout. ROFL. (Wouldn't i just love to know what an off-the-wall conversation that would have been). I asked to see the samples, and I was struck how similar they looked to the huge long core samples that geologists take, except little eeny weeny ones in a jar. So that's one hurdle jumped, never to be scary ever again.

Tomorrow i have the PET scan, which is an exercise in being really truly radioactive for a few hours. Get your glow in the dark jokes in now while you can, ladies! But it does give me the excuse of lingering in a cafe/cinema etc for a few hours afterwards (while my half-life decays) instead of going straight home to hug my little Missy E.

Isnt it wonderful when you get just the right person there to assist you. So pleased you were able to go through it with relative ease. Hope tomorrows scan is ok too. xo

Ruf, yes it is wonderful. I was telling someone just yesterday that ever since my gallstone thing started there has been one special person there for me at every stage of the way. One person, that's all it takes to transform the experience.