MD's Radical Life Revision

What a ***** MD. Taking away a womans part of her body that makes her feel like a woman is horrible. It doesn't matter how good it looks from the outside of your clothes, its really about how it effects you on the inside. I know you will deal with it, but grieving for the loss of your beautiful bosom is definately to be expected. It would certainly be a hard pill for me to swallow.
Yeah, it has to be done but it still sux. I am sorry to hear it is the next step for you. :hug: Did you ever take some nude pics before your surgery? I think you should if you didn;t . ;)

Arte, I am going to ask about the nipple, because that is something I wondered about too. But it might be the case that the nipple is supplied by blood vessels/nerves that run thru the regular breast tissue and that's why it has to come off, kwim?

Thanks Clare, I really appreciate that you read and posted helpful info. It means a lot. xxx

Ange, yep nude pics in the bag. Am thinking of getting one printed out on a big canvas and then turning it into a cathartic mixed media collage thingy. Turn my pain into art. Or something.

MD - I've only just caught up with this thread.

Honey my thoughts are with you - your such an amazing woman and your going to blitz through this! Your attitude is just amazing.

In relation to the nipple on the reconstructed breast a lot of ladies get the nipples tattooed on - they look amazingly real....

MD I am SO SO SO happy for you that they have caught this early, and it is not cancerous. Thats is the best news ever, I am so relieved for you. Well done, you kept positive and look at the result. So proud of you. As for the mastectomy, I am so sorry, its not fair. :hug: Keep us updated!

Ok, well latest news - saw lovely surgeon's lovely offsider today (yay it looks like they both want to deal with me personally!!) and had a few of my questions answered.

YES i am a good candidate for getting an immediate reconstruction done ....IF I am well enough at that time to withstand the extra surgery.

YES if I get the immediate reconstruction done (ie at the same time as the mastectomy) they MIGHT be able to use a skin preserving technique and this MIGHT mean I can keep my nipple. :dance: I was so overcome to hear that it's actually even possible that I had a big cry right there in front of lovely offsider dr.

Anyway there are no certainties, it depends entirely on my state of health once I've completed chemo and had a couple of months of bounce-back time. This changes everything. It means I have a positive goal to work towards - being healthy enough to have the reconstruction immediately and strong and well enough for the new boob to take *perfectly* and energised and oxygenated enough to keep my lovely nipple. This means I have something positive to focus on every time I make a food choice, or a choice to exercise, to sleep, to meditate, to conquer a negative belief...in short *EVERYTHING* I can do to support my wellbeing over the coming months is going to count.

I *can* do this!!!

Wow MD, what wonderful news! Great goal to keep healthy choices *hugs*

md you can and you will do it. i love your energy. you would be such a nice person to be around. i like your spirit. you go girl

YES you can MD! That is great news, i so hope they can transplant the nipple. You'll be well enough for the extra surgery. :hug:

It will happen MD.
I'm glad they have given you some news to keep your spirits up - and it's going to help you attain the cure.

Without a doubt you CAN do it MD! :)

:strength:

And I think we need a new one - possibly a very serious face holding a glowing trident...

:Power:

;) :hug:

MD, that is fantastic news that you are a perfect candidate for immediate reconstruction. I am so happy to hear that. Of course you will be well enough for it, you have an amazing positive spirit and if you ever need a boost you only need to come here and you know we will do whatever we can to help.

Hey MD, just wanted to bump this up for the next stage of your life revision. Hope it goes well. thinking of you. xoxoxoxo

There are so many positive things in that update, MD. I'm so thrilled for you :)

MD, your courage is truly inspirational. I am so pleased that you have had some good news and have a new goal to work towards. I know that you can achieve anything you want to hun - so go get it! You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope the good news keeps coming. Take care hun.

Thanks for bumping this, Ange! Actually I was thinking of you yesterday afternoon (had another date with the Donut). Actually feeling a little freaked out because a) they couldn't get an IV in for the contrast so just did it without and b) they found some mildly enlarged somethings but of course that'll serve me right for ripping open the results and reading them because I don't have the report from the first CT to compare it with. It wouldn't be unreasonable to assume the disease might have progressed over the last 3 months since the last scan but I think at this point I'd much rather not know!!!

Anyway the chemotherapy starts on Monday so that will send the little ****ers running!

All the best for Monday MD

I like being assocciated with donuts. :p
I would have opened the envelope too. But like you say, you can't read too much into it without the previous one. :hug:

Did you say you were getting a central line put in? (Sorry my brain is mush tonight. forgotten)That will save any bad vein problems.

Have you got the ipod sorted for Monday? think you should have that 'love generation' song on it by Bob sinclair. It always makes me smile that song. Lu and DH were dancing around the kitchen to it this morning. :lol: "....don't worry about a thing, Its gonna be alright.....Look to the rainbow and you will see, sun will shine till eternity!"

hiya gorgeous (AKA MD),

i too would have been of the 'curious' crowd and so ripped that booger open too LOL! i just can't help myself :D.

oh, so you also have dodgy IV habits. ME TOO! always seems that 3rd time is the trick with me. more lucky for the nurses really, as their throats are THAT close to being ripped out...

okay, so if you want some fun-times ipod musack for monday you SOOO cannae go past the good old 'sly and the family stone'. totally serious. you'll be bopping in no time sista! urgh, cant believe i actually admitted that on the world wide web LOL! :redface:

xx

MD, been thinking of you all day today, i just don't have any special words other than i hope you feel my big ol' hug wrapped around you when you get to read this :hug:

...ONLY YOU and no one else is gonna be worthy of my thoughts tomorrow ... So, YEP thinking of you in the biggest way tomorrow ... Take super care ' OUR ' lovely lady ;)

:heartbeat: Lotsa love sent to YOU from Lorelle & lil' Cendrine xox

Thanks everyone - just refining the ipod collection right now ;). I've loaded on my single most favorite piece of music in the world (from the Baraka soundtrack). It was the music I needed when I was birthing DD1 (but left it at home in the stereo)...In the words of our dear friend Arte, this time I'm birthing my own new life. So I need some good "labour" music. LOL

Will let you know how I pull up when I do.

You'll be in my thoughts too darl :hug: May you have gentle nurses and find lots of escape in your music until it's all done!

Thinking of you, MD. Hope the music helps you push through whatever comes today. :hug:

:hug: You're in my thoughts and prayers today.

Helloooo MD!! Am thinking of you today, on this day of days...

wasn't too sure what to do in an act of solidarity, but have decided on eating some chocolate (wish it was haighs but alas no such luck!) and sipping some latte and sending you loads of good wishes and cheer.

love you babe
xxx

thinking of you today, i will join clare in the solidarity choc.. mine washed down with some rasp leaf tea (YAY!).
much love. xxxx

Thinking of you today hun. Hope things are going as well as can be expected. xoxo

Hope today goes well hun, and you aren't too knocked around by the chemo :hug: We are all here to hold your hair if you need us ;)

:wiggle: Just simply thinking of you Marydean & no one else today ...

Deepest heartfelt vibes sent to you today :heartbeat:

Hope you're playing some funky music, to kill off those funky cells ;)
Thinking of you.

LOL at funky music killing off funky cells. Can you hear that....(*faint strains of I'm dying, I'm dyyyyyyyyyyy-iiiiiiiing coming from my abdomen*)? LOL Also love your sympathy chocolate work ladies. Haven't had any chocolate yet (darn that's a good idea) but I'm STARVING (probably the 'roids kicking in) so I've eaten every thing else in sight today. The cancer patients apparently get much yummier food than everyone else, including ICECREAM! :p

Thanks everyone for your thoughts today - must've worked because i'm kinda feeling ok. V tired, and some tingly sensations in my hands (:pray: please don't let this last for the whole 4 months!!!) but most of all relieved that it's no longer the unknown factor. Also Dr gave me the AOK for my naturopathy goodies AND the CT scan from friday was ok results. :D

May i share with you a very special poem that i have only ever shared with my DP & DD that i would read to my little sister when we were kids snuggled up in bed at nightime - " I scream, YOU scream, WE all scream for what ... ICECREAM " :dance:

... Thought that might give you a little giggle ;)

... Marydean, i'm soooo glad Fri results were good !!!!!!!!

Well one week after Chemo 1 - off the roids, but starting to really feel the effects. Still have a lingering bladder irritation, my scalp hurts in places (uh oh hope that's not my hair getting ready to fall out), my cuticles went to sh*te overnight on the third day (sort of dry and raw at the same time), and my tongue has been sore throughout. But that's not the best bit.

The best bit is that it has made me completely PARANOID about getting sick. Unlike everyone else who's hysterical about the inconvenience of swine flu, I really could be laid out by a simple cold, a regular virus, even an infected ear. Any temp over 38 degrees and it's straight to hospital (do not pass go, do not collect $200). That means the germy cancer ward :o. My glands were all up on Sat night - I could barely turn my neck and I shoulda gone in to get myself checked out but soooooo didn't want to have to sit in an ER full of ppl who should be coughing over a hot drink at home. Then DH got up yesterday and had a spew so now I'm waiting to see if I have gastro. Been pretty vigilant about the handwashing but who knows??

I guess I expected the chemo to run me down physically...to a certain extent. But I really didn't anticipate the way it would weaken me psychologically too. In the space of a week I have gone from feeling strong and healthy in myself to now feeling utterly vulnerable, diminished in some profound way. I guess this is the bit where I have to dig deep in myself and stay positive. This is the bit where i boost my own immune system and my health by filling myself with alive, positive, strong, vibrant energy. This is the bit where I dance to the beat of my own drum, and let everyone else get wiggy to their own tune.

I am glad we are restricted to net speak hun, coz I have caught a cold and I do NOT want you getting it!!

Keep posting hun, you are strong. You can and will defeat the funky cells.We can support you online without making you sick so know that we are all here for you. Get well vibes for DH too!!

Hope you can draw on the healing power of your body this week, hun. The chemo is clearly having an effect so all the bad stuff is dying away. :hug:

Hope all the germies stay away from you while you need to heal.

wow, it must such an intense process MD. i know, such a 'well duh' comment, but i guess you never really know until you see how quickly it takes effect. i like Jennifer's stance that it's the funky-cells doing the final march...my Oma always told me as she was applying the dettol to my scraped knee that the pain from it being applied was the sign of the baddies losing and me winning. i always thought it provided a great visual feast, and i am sure that this is what's happening now for you too!

One day in the not too distant future MD they'll have a chemo to target the nasty cells and spare the good ones.
Stay away from all those sniffly people out there, and beat on! :hug:

And the nasty roids can mess with your head too. Remember that. :hug:
And know you can draw on the strength of all of us too. :strongarms:
Enjoy all that dancing! xo

oh I think we need :strength: ... and probably a top up of :Power: ;)

I know the chemo sucks babe, you will see and feel so many changes to your body and your mind in the next few weeks, it will be exhausting...But that's why we are here for you!
Hang in there, I know you can be strong, and you know you can be strong.

And dont fret too much, if you need to go back to hossie - the cancer ward is probably the cleanest place in the building ;) Stay away from flowers and get yourself some dettol hand wash and a some lavender oil - it will make you feel better ;)

Sending masses of :strength: your way
xxx

Ugh. My scalp has gotten really itchy and sore today...:( Soooo hope this is not the start of hair falling out!! I have an appt to get my hair cut on Fri then the hairdresser goes on hols for a couple of weeks so it would be pretty bad timing if it does. They say it tends to be more partial but I'm not in love with the idea of shedding, at all!

On the plus side, saw my gorgeous naturopath today and she's blended up some ripper herbs to keep my bladder tidy. Everything else is cranking along nicely, have a lovely fresh batch of acne on my face, but feeling strong and fit and (besides an irritating after cough) healthy. Have ooodles of energy and feel like I've had lots of personal 'ahas' this week too. :)

Wow MD, you sound like you feel amazing considering what your body is going through. Hope the natropath didn't leave the purse too empty. If only medicare covered complimenary therapies, i wish! Lu and i are seeing a natropath at the moment and he is fantastic. Got me on a few bits and pieces to make me feel great. But the money starts adding up doesn't it?

There is nothing worse than an itchy scalp. Hopefully it's just a bit of dandruf and those follices are holding tight. ;) Do you have a backup hairdresser in case of hair emergency???????