Shock can affect people in various ways - it will greatly depend on the individual's own inner strength, coping mechanisms, and subconscious. In addition to experiencing shock, the person is (in situations such as these) also likely to experience a multitude of other emotions and feelings including grief (all 10 stages), guilt, and anger (seperate from the grieving process). It would be common for someone to withdraw almost immediately as they try to come to terms with what they have seen or experienced. Crying, lack of sleep, nightmares, loss of appetite, nausea are all very common symptoms or displays of behavior. Not always at the same time either and some can manifest immediately whilst others may not eventuate for months... and some may stay for months. Some people, when exposed to such horriffic incidents, can actually become hysterical, unable to be comforted, and cease to be able to function on a day to day basis. It can trigger Post Traumatic Stress Disorder AKA PTSD (a very real mental health condition which can require medication). In people that are unable to be comforted, brought down from hysteria, or who suffer acute episodes of PTSD, medication is a very common and acceptable method of helping them to cope. Whether it be mild sedation, sleeping tablets or something as minor as Oxygen Therapy. However, it is vital that these people receive counselling or other psychological therapy to assist them in processing this event and helping them to achieve effective coping strategies and mechanisms.

I would probably try to give your partner space but also let him know you are there to listen if he needs to talk. I would, however, be aware of your own coping mechanisms and strategies as well as your own limitations. If you are not someone who can cope wth graphic situations, you may not be the best person to provide that kind of support to him (no offence intended). I have cared for people who have had PTSD third party to an incident. Gently encourage your DH to seek professional counselling but don't push it too hard. Encourage him to write it down if that is his way of coping.

Your GP or local Community Health Centre can point you in the right direction for counselling in your area to help your DH process this situation. There is a group in Vic who offer free counselling for people who have witnessed these sorts of events (but I can't recall their name - sorry!). If you are in Vic, the TAC may be able to assist him with the fees for counselling as well.

Do give him time but don't let it drag on too long. I am aware of multiple studies which show that debriefing after critical incidents within the first 24hrs is detrimental to the recovery of individuals involved. 24-72 hours post event is the ideal time... but some people need a little longer before they are open to the idea of talking about it.

I am so sorry your DH is going through this - it will be a tough road ahead for both of you. But, with time, it will get easier. Continue to love and support each other.

Feel free to PM if you need anything.

MG