please move mods if this isnt in the right spot.

i just wrote a huge post and it got lost so ill try to shorten it this time.

i went ot my doc a few months ago mainly for my weight and all the issues it brings up.
it took along time for me to do this cause i was so scared to say it out alot wat i was dealing with. even writin this now i feel so stupid for wat i am writing.

my weight has been a big thing in my life and i have always had huge issues with it.
I have been picked on so much and it has been my family too.
i am 168cm and i used to sit around 62kg to 65kg and lookin back now i would give anythign to be there again but i used to get my mum tellin me i seriously needed to loose weight.
i have never had many friends most people would pretend to be my friend then turn on me and think it was funny or get boys that i liked to ask me out then laugh in my face.
in about yr 8 i got my first bf but he constantly made me feel **** about myself and would constantly dump me if he thought someone better would go out with him. this lasted on and off for nearly 3 yrs and i got ot the point i woudlnt eat infront of anyone and started throwing up.
then i met DH and he never said anythgin and i become very happy with him and let myself go. i got the weight off just b4 i had DD and ended up being 100kgs after having her and got down to about 84 got PND and got back up to 98kg.
so i went to see my doc adn she gave me duromine which i took on for a bit then we went away and i ended up so busy after coming back i didnt take them. the doc told me i coudl think about seeing a psycologist and to come see her for a referal if i needed one.
so i went to seea botu some personal training yesterday adn there is a psycologist in the smae building. when i went to see about the pyscologist teh receptionist told me i can only see her if i am on a mental health plan. my doc said that havign a referal only makes it cheaper and i dont have to have one if i am willing to pay all the out of pocket expenses.
the problem is i would be fine to go back to the doc and get the referal but she has left and i dont knwo wat to do or sya to a new doc. i really dont feel comfy sayign any of this to anyone unless i really trust them and i feel so stupid liek it isnt a real prob and they will just laugh at me.

all this effects everythign i do i cant go out without feelign liek i am constantly being judged and i freak otu if i get asked to go out with friends and say i am busy.

please help wat do i do/say