Advice & Opinions wanted re: sleeping arrangements

[Papillon]

Hey BB'ers..

Ok so currently both our kids sleep in our room. They have a toddler bed each set up side by side, and DD most night's sleeps the whole night in it, and DS generally does but often ends up in our bed.

I am at the point i would really like to get them in their own rooms, but not usre if i should start the battle again!

Here is some history to help you give me your opinion...

DD has been a co-sleeper since birth. She only slept in 2 hour blocks 24 hrs a day so i did whatever i could to get some sleep. Eventually she went into her own cot, although most of the time her cot was in our room, but a few months before Feb 2007 she was in a cot in her own room.

Then in Feb 2007 her daddy (my DF) was crushed in a machine at work. I was 20 weeks with our DS and she was almost 2. It affected her greatly and approx 2 months after the accident she suffered her own little versiioon of a emotional breakdown, due to the accident.

So, with the new baby coming and all she went through, she would NOT sleep in her own so we continued with her in our room, and in our bed. By the time our DS came and my PND came back with a vengence, we ended up with DS sleeping with DF (on the couch or spare bed) and DD in bed with me.

Bring it forward to about may this year DF and i realised this arrangement had taken a HUGE toll on our relationship and decided to change it. We got DD a new bed, and set up her room all pretty... OMG we fought and fought with her, tried everything but it all failed. She would not sleep in her room... so back in our room she went. DS, we wernt even gonna try.

SO, to atleast get DF and i back in the marital bed together, we went and bought two toddler beds, and worked on getting the kids sleeping in them. It has been pretty successful, the odd night we end up with both in our bed... but on average its only our DS who ends up in bed with us.

But, now that we are trying for #3 and just the fact they are getting older, i really am wondering if i should be battling this again and get them to sleep in their own room??!!

Honestly, i dont know if i should? or if i should, how to go about it successfully?!!

DD is such a strong, independant girl and honestly can go for hours of the crying/screaming/in and out of bed, that we do end up giving up. She can do it for seriously 5-6 hours. We have tried so many different things, none of which worked!!!!!

I used to think i was and am a failure because they arent sleeping in thier own rooms/beds but at the same time of the last month i have learnt to give myself a break as over the past year and half we have gone through ALOT.....

BUT, at the same time, i cant keep living for what HAS happened, and live for what IS and WILL be happening.

So, give me some advice/opinions/etc

Should i just leave it? or should i honestly work on her having her own room???? and him??? my so, he is only 18 months and when i think of him alone in his room even i get sad and a bit "eeeek" but, at the same time i think it is my fear of something happening to them in thier rooms while im sleeping.... (down side to studying forensic psych at uni ) or that maybe im a control freak?? argh maybe its me??? hmmmmmmmmm *ponders*

I just am finding to get them into a routine, in our room is hard, especially as they are going off eacohther ..... argh.. like right now DRIVING ME NUTS... they SHOULD be in bed... I WANT them in bed!!

OK now im begging... please someone with some experience, give me some advice or your opinion.... PLEASE????