A gentle parenting success story - sleep

[butterfly_warrior]

I hope this can offer hope to some, it IS completely possible to end up with a child that can put themselves to sleep by following gentle parenting principles. Not a single tear has been shed in the process!

Anyway...

From birth, Sam was a fantastic sleeper. He would eat, sleep and wake on a very precise 4-hour schedule... Until he hit 8 weeks old. At that point, we moved house. The in-laws invaded for about two weeks and my perfect self-settling boy suddenly became a child that would need to be wrapped, held and rocked to sleep with soft music playing - every single time.

But we did what he needed to do in order to sleep.

Time passed... Eventually he didn't need to be wrapped to fall asleep at night any more. But he still needed someone with him, preferably DH, to lie on our bed alongside him and keep him company while he drifted off. DH generally fell asleep too - as Sam has had a 9pm bed time for some time (he sleeps until 8am and has massive day sleeps - it's just his body clock). A bit frustrating on the nights where we haven't been organised enough for a family dinner and so the plan was that we will eat (and DH will cook) when Sam is asleep...

More time passed and I felt like I had the only toddler in the world who was put to sleep for day naps by being wrapped, sat on my lap and gently rocked to sleep with music... The only other place he'll go to sleep is his car seat. The pram stopped working as a place to sleep around about 12 months old.

But the reports from day care indicated that he COULD get himself to sleep. When Sam decided that he would no longer sleep in a cot at day care, but would sleep on a bed like the older kids, he started putting himself to sleep at day care.

Shortly after his second birthday, we took the sides off the cot and turned it into a toddler bed. He went from a child that would scream blue murder at being put into the cot awake (why he went to sleep elsewhere and then was put in) to a child that would happily climb into bed himself. So now he falls asleep for the night in his own bed. Initially it was with DH or myself (rarely myself, Sam is a firm believer in Daddy does bed time!) sitting beside the cot while he drifted off. Then we noticed he was going to sleep faster and faster.

After only two short weeks of this, DH asked him if he would be alright to go to sleep by himself. Nod nod. Turn off the light, close the door and walk away... and not a sound was heard until 8am the next morning when we thought we should wake him so he could say goodbye to daddy before he left for work!

And that has continued every single night since... it's only been a week, but it certainly seems as though our boy has finally gone full circle and can now go to sleep for the night on his own, in his own bed without protest.

Day sleeps are different. We've been out and about a lot this week, so I have often transferred a sleeping Sam from car seat to cot and had him sleep for three hours or more. Today we were home. Today I tucked him in and sat beside him - Sam thought it was a great game. So I asked if he could put himself to sleep. Nod nod. So I closed the door and walked out. A few minutes of silence followed and then I heard him talking to himself. Open the door and he sees me and puts his head straight back on the pillow. Cute. We repeated that a few times before I gave up and wrapped him.

I will keep trying, but I can almost seem myself needing to wrap and rock or go for a drive to get him to sleep for day naps while ever he has day naps! He seems to be a bit like me and wants a very dark room to sleep. No night lights for my boy! So day sleeps may always be a bit trickier. But while ever he does it at night and at day care I have hope that we will eventually get there for day sleeps. Maybe. Either way, it's ok by me - my boy is happy and sleeps well and he has NEVER been left to cry himself to sleep.

BW

[*TripleJ*]

thats awesome hoping we can get jamie into a bed soon maybe the cot side has to come off last time we tried was a massive fail

[Fleur]

Fantastic story, well done & thank you so much for sharing.

We are at this stage

But he still needed someone with him, preferably DH, to lie on our bed alongside him and keep him company while he drifted off. DH generally fell asleep too - as Sam has had a 9pm bed time for some time (he sleeps until 8am and has massive day sleeps - it's just his body clock). A bit frustrating on the nights where we haven't been organised enough for a family dinner and so the plan was that we will eat (and DH will cook) when Sam is asleep...

...

But the reports from day care indicated that he COULD get himself to sleep. When Sam decided that he would no longer sleep in a cot at day care, but would sleep on a bed like the older kids, he started putting himself to sleep at day care.

Exactly this, sounding very similar to our story so far. We have had such struggles with our older kids when they were younger & this time we both are much more relaxed... although sometimes I wonder if I will still be lying down with her when she's 10 and I have to trust that it will change in time.

Thanks for sharing & woo hoo for a success story

[butterfly_warrior]

Fleur, there were times I'd think we'd still be lying down with him when he's at school... But the time we've put into making sleep time a non-stressful thing for him is really paying off now!

I have times where I do honestly think I'll be wrapping and rocking for day sleeps for as long as he has them... At times I find it frustrating, but other times... think of the cuddles! When I think about how I go with trying to sleep during the day (it doesn't happen unless I'm sick), it does make sense that he finds it harder. If he needs it, he needs it... And it's a great excuse to sit down and snuggle the boy and relax instead of doing housework!

BW

[HotI]

Thanks BW

[Miss.September]

That was beautiful to read, you wrote it with so much love!

We're at the stage where DD will happily climb into bed, have a few stories, and then lights off, but we need to sit with her while she dozes off. Can take between 5 and 15 minutes. We tried walking out of the room the other night and it was tears and tantrums, so we're not there yet!

[butterfly_warrior]

Thank you!

I forgot to mention it, and may edit it in later - but we had a period of several months where Sam would only sleep during the day if he was being held... When we were in it, it felt endless... But I kind of miss it now.

BW

[~Kaz~]

This gives me new hope. Thanks BW. I'm so glad your gorgeous boy is putting himself to sleep.