Despratley need sleeping help!!!

[*mitch*]

Righto guys I need your help..

Alexa is almost 18 months old & is absolutley horrid at night time with sleeping & I am at my wits end....

She goes down to bed about 7.30 with a bottle & her dummy & cuddly (sometimes she has a grizzle & other times goes straight to sleep)... but about 2-3am she wakes up & screams & I mean a high pitch scream & wont stop (last night she screamed for a solid half hour)...

She sleeps in a gro bag so she isnt cold, also I have an oil heater in her room to keep the chill off...

she wont settle at all unless you sit beside her cot (not really an option when both DH & I work fulltime)... as soon as you leave the room she starts screaming again... even if she is asleep before you leave the room..

Any ideas I am soooo sleep deprived I am starting to lose the plot!!!!

[blue daisy]

Hey mitch

i have to keep my reply short...should be walking out the door

i had the same problem with my first son...and i think that looking back on it now that he was perhaps experiencing night terrors (can start around 18mnths)...

we did try everything...and finally left a light on in his room and a radio on with the volume low...on the bad nights we put a mattress on the floor in our room...anything for some sleep.

sorry i cant be much help...but it is hopefull a phase...Finn is 4yrs and still sleeps with a little light on

xx yogababy

[krisp]

Hi Mitch, we have a 17 month old DS who is also a bad night sleeper. He rarely sleeps through the night, although in the last couple of weeks has started sleeping from 7.30 to 7ish about twice a week so maybe he's changing!

He doesn't have a dummy as it was causing us so much grief we took it off him at about 8 months as we were getting up anywhere from 5 to 10 times a night to put it back in his mouth! He does have a bottle though (only 150ml) which seems to resettle him really quickly. He wakes, he gets his bottle a fresh nappy and is straight back into his cot and asleep within 15-20 minutes. I know that he is old enough to not need this o/n bottle and I know it's just a comfort thing as he eats heaps so he's not hungry but if we try to get him to go back to sleep without it he can cry and yell for over an hour, so it's just easier for us to do a quick 15 min bottle and nappy change.

I don't really have any answers for you, just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone with a toddler who doesn't sleep. Have you thought about going to a sleep school?

[*mitch*]

Hi guys...

Thanks for replying...

Unfortunatley we dont have sleep schools over here But i wish we did...

Going to try leaving the lamp on over night & see how we go.. otherwise will have to try everything i can think of all over again LOL...

[cherie26]

Hi Mitch
I know exactly what you are going through! My son had always been a restless night sleeper but I do think that I played a big part because I would get up to him everytime he made a noise. my DS still has some bad nights but most now he sleeps through and he has a blanky. The biggest thing is that you child needs to be somewhat "independant". When I say that I mean does she put herself to sleep or do you assist her? I used to rock DS and feed him his bottle but as I needed time for me this just wasn't working and it was affecting his night sleep because he needed me to help him go back to sleep (I was his sleeping tool). It took time but now he holds his bottle and blankie and puts himself to sleep.
How do you find the growbags does she feel like she cant move around to change positions (I have never used one so I dont know). A really good book that helped me is Tracy Hogg the baby whisperer. She shows how to get your child to be independant with sleeping and there is a web site with a some great info on it. For me in the end sometimes I just had to let him cry and it did take a couple of weeks but in the end it stopped and we got some well needed sleep.
Hope you get some sleep soon!

[Jaapie]

Hi Mitch. As the other mums have said . . . you are not alone! What is it about 2am huh? My son has always been a shocking sleeper - slept through for the first time last week (14 mths old!!), did it 3 times hasn't done it again!

Only wanted to say that sleep schools aren't in the least bit gentle. All they will advise you is to let your bub cry it out, they don't (in my limited experience) seem to have any other options.

The only suggestion I can make is to take him into your bed. That way everyone gets some sleep. Kai used to be in our bed by 10:30, but he has slowly gotten used to sleeping on his own and only comes in about 5ish (usually!) If your little one is scared . . . it will be sooo comforting to have mom and dad right there.

Good luck and remember . . . "this too shall pass"!!!

[BellyBelly]

Just a reminder that this is a Gentle Sleeping forum so discussion is about gentle methods only - i.e. no cry it out or sleep schools.

Mitch, seperation anxiety is at it's peak at 18 months so no wonder you are feeling it. Lots of reassurance and nurturing is important here, and remember it will pass... it doesn't feel like it now, but it will and it gets better I promise. I have been there!

Grab a copy of the Science of Parenting which will see you through with sleep and other behaviour challenges. It's written by Dr. Margot Sunderland and it's my new bible. It will help you regain some sanity and give you some great tools to work with. Keep venting and taking if you need, but please be sure you are completely normal as is your bubba.

[{sarah}]

What sorts of things have you tried Mitch?

Could she possibly be getting cold at that time of night? Maybe put a heater in her room?

Other than that we used a few things in combination that were a great help. I put a radio in his room on very very low & a night light. We bought Brauer's calm which we gave before bedtime each night, I checked with my Dr and he said that it was fine for as long as we needed & would cause no ill effect or addiction. He said it would help with sleep & after a while he'd learn to sleep without it. We also got Healing Hippo's sleeping spray that does wonders! It's an aromatherapy blend spray that you spray on their pillow & around the room to help them calm down to go to sleep. We did it before bed & then if he woke up we'd ask if he'd like some special spray to help him get to sleep. It really did help.

Maybe on of these or a few combined might help for you too?

[krisp]

Hi Mitch, just another thought - does her "cuddly" mean a sleep buddy? Our DS has his buddy "Big Bear" that he sleeps with and has done since he was about 8 months old. He also sleeps in a fleece sleep suit so he doesn't get cold as he won't sleep under blankets. For bed we dress him in a short sleeved all-in-one body suit, then his long sleeved pj's and then his fleece sleep suit. We've tried sleeping bags but he doesn't like them as he can't stand up properly in them so the sleep suits works better and ensures he stays warm throughout the night. Whilst it's vbeen very cold down here in Melbourne we've put an oli hear on very low as well to take the chill off the air. We also have a lullaby CD that we play continuously all night as well on very softly so when he wakes up he can hear familiar music and it seems to comfort him as he does wake but after an initial cry (just one or 2) he's back to sleep. Finally it might be working or he might just be growing out of his sleep problems as he's slept through 5 nights in a row now!

We did try bringing him into our bed but it didn't work as he thought it was play time not sleep time.

Hang in there it will get better.

[BellyBelly]

OoOOoh we have Healing Hippo spray too, smells divine

[*mitch*]

Thanks for all the suggestions guys....

So far so good... the last 2 nights through she has slept through... (probably just jinxed myself though LOL)..

I brought a duler bulb for her lamp...
Also put her dream CD on repeat... (only repeated one track though not the whole CD... )

I also got my old doll & dolls cot & bottle from my mums house... so we put "baby" to bed before alexa... (so cute when she gives "baby" a kiss goodnight LOL...then alexa gets a bit of time.. then its her time... but we have to shhh when we go to bed because "baby" is sleeping...

Will have to try & find that hippo spray over here... might be a good thing for back up!!!!

[{sarah}]

Mitch I bought mine from their online shop, just google the name & it comes right up