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To answer the original question, yes I judge. I come home from mother's group feeling depressed for the entire next day due to my different parenting style from some of the other mothers, but of course I don't say anything because all the babies are happy and healthy.
I'm most judgemental on myself, however, and I shudder to think what some of my friends would think if they knew my baby had self-weaned by 4 months, despite my desperate attempts to keep going, so I'm not going to tell them.
But I really wanted to comment on the issue of protecting the child from the child molester, and I just wanted to say that unless you have proof there's no point alerting the police, and without proof it would be wrong to alert child protection services. I don't believe taking a child out of the care of the mother is in anyone's best interest. The foster care system is not the better option. However, you might consider organising a proper intervention for your friend with her friends and family, she would do much better with loving support than judgement alone (of course you have to judge her first in order to decide she needs an intervention) since she's found herself in such a bad place in life.
Regarding the wearing of shoes ... I ran around barefoot as a child. It's really very common in Australia for children to run around barefoot. Everyone's barefoot on the Gold Coast, riding their bikes and skateboarding around the beach in bikinis and that's all. Obviously if there's broken glass you need to teach your children to be careful, but shoes are overrated.
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kuraiza i must respectfully disagree about lack of proof and alerting the police. The enormously vast majority of child molesters have no convinctions because they haven't bee caught and are quick enough to move on before they are caught or told on. By reporting something tha fels minor to the police people are helping them to paint a long-term picture of an individual, so that if in the future a victim is brave enough to speak up they will have x amount of reports of suspicions of this nature against the individual and the victim is far more likely to get justice. It is NEVER a waste of time.
Also (purely out of nosiness so do ignore me if you want!) was your baby really fully on solids at 4 months!? No milk at all?!
Bx
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no no he weaned from boob to bottle.
The police won't do anything without proof. Sorry, but I have zero faith in the police and the criminal "justice" system.
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Well i have first hand experience of making complaints that cannot be proven against paedophilic sexual predators and i assure you, it's a long game, but it's DEFINITELY worthwhile making that complaint, even if they can't act on it now, it lies on record and "there's no smoke without fire" is DEFINITELY true of paedophiles. In my specific situation (which is complicated) no conviction could be made, but this person, who used to be a teacher, is now not able to have such free contact with children and is watched closely by the police because when he has to have his annual police disclosure, complaints of a sexual nature against chilren can be noted even if they aren't convictions. This person should be in prison, but isn't, but still we (my family) felt that even though no arrest/conviction could be gained by the info we were able to give, the children in his immediate vicinity are nonetheless safer.
Bx
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I totally agree with hoobley. All the little pieces of information add up to help create a profile of the perpetrator. Sometimes just a little bit of information reported to Docs or the police is all they need to put evidence together and do something.
The legal system is far from perfect but if we lose faith in it then society crumbles and it is also not fair to the children involved.
I once got told about a serious crime and told the police straight away and they said that a few people had come forth but it felt so much better to tell them and feel like I was helping rather then keep the info to myself and carry that burden. I definatly think that abuse should be reported, I work with children and have witnessed what abuse can do to a smalll child and all children deserve to live in a safe place away from harm.
