thread: Gentle tips for car-seat tantrums?

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Sydney
    7,896

    Gentle tips for car-seat tantrums?

    Hi everyone

    My normally placid toddler has suddenly developed a habit of cracking up something serious when I try to put her in her car seat. Usually it's only if she's a little tired, but it seems to be happening more frequently. It's definitely not a comfort/fit issue (same car seat as always and checked the fittings to make sure it wasn't too tight, etc). She seems really excited about going somewhere or home as she will run to the car, it's just the restraining thing she's resisting. And it makes it very hard to get her strapped in!

    Anyone got any tips as to how to settle her down? If I have other things to load I leave her on the back seat for a minute and come back to strap her in, but she still objects loudly!

    It used to work just telling her that I knew she didn't want to get in her seat over and over, that is getting less effective. HELP!

  2. #2
    Life Member

    May 2003
    Beautiful Adelaide!
    2,877

    Jennifer, yoou have my every sympathy! My son Charlie does exactly the same thing.

    I have 2 methods....and it depends on how much time we have as to which trick I use!

    If we have the time (and dependant on where we are a little as well) if he arches his back and starts a tanty, I bring him back out of the car, let him stand next to me at the car door, and see if wants to climb in by himself. He will often haul himself up into the seat (takes ages) and then he will let me strap him in quite happily. (If I already have the ignition/music going in the car this works well).

    Other times he will just continue the tanty whilst at the side of the car, so I walk him by the hand away from the car.....if he thinks he may miss out, he will then drag us both back to the car and let me pop him in.

    If, however, we are in a hurry: bribery! I alwasy have a stash of cruskits and arrowroot biccies in my bag, so I get one at the ready, offer it to him as I say "Straps on now matey!" and plunge him in quick! (He is keen on his food, so this treat often works, and is quick!)

    Good luck......I promise you it IS just a stage. Olivia went through it too (to a lesser extent than Charlie......it took only a few weeks for her to "grow out of it" but she was talking well, so I could reason with her, whereas Charlie isn't......)

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Add aussienic on Facebook

    Feb 2005
    Boyne Island
    6,327

    We let our son Jacob climb into his seat himself and he goes "wee" he stands and slides down.. He doesn't have an issue with being strapped in however.. Just with wanting to do everything himself..

    I would just try and make a game out of it. it can get tiring however when he doesn't want to sit down straight away but we have found it makes life easier to take an extra 5 minutes getting him into the car..

    Good luck.. toddlers sure are fun

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    Matilda used to crack it everytime we got into the car. She would stiffen up her body straight and I couldn't get the seatbelt on. I used a few techniques....
    1.) offer her a fruit stick if she sat (bribery...)
    2.) hold her in the seat until she settled and then give her a kiss and praise her.
    3.) wait for her to climb in the seat herself and make a game out of it... how fast can you get in the seat?

    Goodluck!! & try most of all to let her know that you don't really care about it.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Sydney
    7,896

    Okay, I'm going to persist, but I'm a little disheartened. Tried the bribery thing with the mobile phone (usually a sure winner) and letting her get in the back seat, attempting to get her to climb into her seat and offer her the phone. The little bugger wanted to get in the seat less than she wanted the phone, so after about five minutes of cajoling I gave up and put her in myself, accompanied by the usual screams of disgust.

    I will say though at least she calmed down a bit quicker. I'm going to have to up the ante and try food next. And the rare times that she does get in nicely I make such a fuss of her you'd think she'd balanced the cheque book...

    Keep them coming! (And especially the bit about how they grow out of it, quickly.)

  6. #6
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    Don't be afraid of a little bribery.......!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    Yep I think we introduced lollies to Matilda with the car seat tantrums. I also remember holding Matilda in place while she howled & having people walk up to me in car parks and ask if I was okay.
    Now things are less traumatic, we have the occasional tantrum but they are all about power, for instance if Matilda feels that she has no choice, she gets more upset. So I try to make her feel that she is making the choice to get in the seat and go. She gets to go to the park on the way etc etc... sometimes its food, sometimes its getting to do somethat that she loves. "Do you want to paint? Okay lets get in the car & go!" She often tries to sit in the passanger seat and gets cranky about having to sit in her car seat but I just wait... if she is bad and refuses I tell her either she gets in her seat or I put her there. That always works. What she hates more than having to get in the car seat is not having the option to get in the seat herself.

  8. #8
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    I see Mitchell and Matilda are STILL very alike......

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jul 2005
    Sydney
    7,896

    YAY - WE'VE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT WORKS!!!

    Thanks to Vicky (Vicky Finch) for telling me that she always got her DD to help her do her seat belt up. I thought I'd try and get Lucy's cooperation and tell her what a big girl she was for helping, So I ask her if she is going to help do up her seatbelt before putting her in the car, then if she can help put her arms through and then push the buckles in. And voila, she's so happy to be 'helping' that most of the time she's totally cooperative!!!

    Should have known she didn't like being forced to do something and that getting her assistance/consent was the best way forward.

    Incidentally, it isn't working 100% of the time, but when she acted up yesterday I took her out of the car, went back into our yard and walked out, shutting the gate behind me. I told her if she didn't want to come, she could stay at home. Well, that was not what she wanted to hear, ran back to the gate, got in the car (crying, but not throwing a tantrum) and was compliant at least.

    Still, most of the time suits me!

  10. #10
    Registered User
    Add aussienic on Facebook

    Feb 2005
    Boyne Island
    6,327

    yay thats great to hear