dh and I are seriously considering ttc #2, (possibly ttc next cycle). at the moment, my ds is very much a mummy's boy. He loves his mummy cuddles, being carried in the sling, sometimes co-sleeping. I can't even go to the toilet without him calling out 'mum, mum'.
My question is, how can we help him cope when #2 does finally arrive? I want to keep things the same for as long as possible as I do enjoy our closeness and it has taken a while for us to get to this stage (trouble bonding in the early days). I want him to know I still love him just as much as always and that he can count on me for anything he needs. I don't want him to feel as though he is pushed aside just because there is a new baby.
I just don't know how he would react as he doesn't even want me holding my niece, who is 12 months old. How would he feel when I have another baby? I am so worried about it that I am considering waiting ttc until he is a bit older.
DS is very much a mummys boy and sooks when I hold other kids or babies, he hates being left alone in a room for more than a few minutes. He is still BF also.
I am just hoping he improves when baby comes I have been trying to get him interested in books etc but still all he wants to do is eat them, I also have been holding other kids when i can but having him next to me also, seems to be ok with that.
I wouldnt put of ttc as friends with bigger age gaps seem to have more jealousy issues than ones with kids close together.
I'll be watching this thread because I have an 18mth old and am almost 13 wks pregnant so I have the same questions!
DS relies on me so much sleep-wise (although I think we['re in the middle of a major 18mth sleep regression!) and we're the same as your other examples. I guess I just figure little people DO change at 2, they understand so much and we can talk and explain and reassure so much more than what we can now. I think also making DS a part of things as much as possible will help.
I think there's a really big difference developmentally between a 19 month old and 2+ years, so you can explain more to him and also let him help you so he feels important too.
Also, newborns sleep so much in the beginning that I think maybe that makes the transition a little easier.
I found dd played up more if I was bfing, but aside from that it didn't go too badly.
Of course there are going to be changes, but in the end you are (hopefully) making him a lifelong friend, and I see that as more important.
Also, from the time ds could smile I always told dd "see how he's watching you? He really loves you" and it seemed to start a cycle - because she believed he loved her she behaved lovingly towards him (mostly) and so he modelled that behaviour back, if that makes sense?
Don't know if I'm helping. You might be surprised at your ds' resilience.
GL
Lara
You can always wait 6 months and see how things are then. I feel it's easier to have a bigger gap if you can, I'm sure ds has never forgiven me for having dd before he was finished with being a mummy's boy lol!
how can I help him cope?
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