i don't know what method of parenting i ascribe to atm. what i'm doing is not really working, but i'm trying.

was feeding ds on couch. dd asked 1) not to have shoes on the couch and 2) to sit on couch (not stand) or get down if she wants to jump. so she jumps and kicks ds in the head.

i stop feeding ds (cos he is crying). take dd to other side of room, ask her to sit and take her shoes off. she cracks it. i put shoes on top of fridge . --> natural consequence if you can't be sensible with the shoes (and not kick your bro in the head) then you can't have the shoes. she is going mental and i think the whole thing is just over her head, she is just pee-ed off and doesn't even know wy now.

so what do i do? if i ignore the behaviour it just happens more, and she doesn't seem to care. whenever i do something, she just goes mental and can't take anything in. if i talk to her about it she just laughs at me. she is a really physical kid, main sense is definitely touch.

do i let her melt down and then talk about it? i don't want to drag on about it, but i want her to understand why i take somethig away (which is usually safety - but i am starting to create consequences to her actions too). is the melt down a neccessity for some kids?