Parents of fussy babies unite!

[Clarrie]

So, anyone else with a fussy baby out there? My little one, Bonnie, is 10 weeks old and has a mammoth temper on her. I'm the only one at mothers' group who is always standing, swaying and shooshing her while the other mums have their placid babies in their prams or quietly on their knees.

It's not colic or anything, and even though she's worse in the evenings (like most babies) she's also cranky throughout the day - mainly due to overtiredness. It makes it hard getting out and about, because I have a screaming baby in my pram - which is just an invitation for the general public to offer helpful advice such as "Oh - she's hungry" (no she isn't, I've just fed her), "she's too hot" (perhaps, but if it was cooler I reckon she'd still be crying), "she has wind" etc. I cracked it yesterday at a complete stranger who came over to me in the supermarket to tell me that my baby was hungry, and snapped "she's a baby, they cry, get used to it".

I also got accosted in the parents' room at a shopping centre while Bonnie was going completely crazy (she'd done a big pooh, and she's especially fussy when that happens). A mother of two toddlers (you'd think she'd know better) told me that she had to come out of the cubicle to see what I was doing to my baby because she'd never heard a baby scream so much. Way to make me feel like a crap mother!

I'm told that things get a bit easier at 3 months re fussy babies, and at this stage I'm counting down the days. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely in love with my little girl and despite her temper, she is completely charming the rest of the time - I reckon she's just passionate and fiesty, which isn't a bad thing at all.

I just get sick of the value judgements from other people, especially other parents. Everytime I hear something like, "well, I did so and so with little insert-name-here and he's a little angel" it kind of implies that Bonnie isn't a little angel because of something that I'm doing.

Please tell me that I'm not the only one with a fussy baby. Vent your stories here...

[sherrie]

Are you breastfeeding her? Might pay to investigate if its a food intolerance to what your eating. My daughter is exactly the same and funnily enough I always put it down to her being fiesty but now that shes almost 2 I am starting to wonder. Anyway I am trying out an elimination diet called failsafe so fingers crossed but some people find just cutting out food additives, like preservatives, colours etc is enough.

[Shelley B]

Hi, I have the same problem, my 3 month old boy Curtis is very whingey. He seems to only have about 5 mins of happy time in the hour and a half that he is awake. It drives me crazy because I dont know what else he could possibly want so I have to carry him around and rock him etc. I know how you feel about not wanting to go out in public, I have to leave Curtis home with his dad while I go shopping and I am also the only one at mothers group with the baby who wont be quiet and well behaved, everyone elses baby is happy to sit on their lap and look around, while I'm trying to hold a struggling grizzly baby! I love it when he is in a good mood and wants to communicate with me, though at this stage of his life, and I feel guilty about saying this, I look forward to 6pm when its his bed time because I know I am going to get at least 4 hours to relax when he is asleep!

[Clarrie]

Mads - thanks for your input. It's nice to know that just because Bonnie's fussy now that she won't be in a few months time.

Sherrie - I should probably look into a food elimination diet - will google failsafe and see how easy it is for me to do (because I really do love my chocolate)

Shelley B - Bonnie is getting easier now, and even though we have these fantastic days filled with giggles and smiles, I still look forward to her bedtime!

Here's a bit of an update - Bonnie is now 4.5 months, and I've noticed 2 things going on with her. The first is that she's grizzly and whingey when I'm sitting still, so at mothers' group I put her on the ground so she can roll around and be on her tummy. My gut feeling is that once she's more mobile, she will be a LOT less fussy since she seems to get bored easily and wants a new perspective constantly.

The second is that she is really sensitive to crowds and social situations. So, the mall is OK because we're moving and I'm not talking to anyone. But, at a friend's house with a bunch of people she doesn't know in the room - it's a screamfest. Hopefully this won't last because I am quite a social person, but hopefully it's a phase.

There's also the whole separation anxiety thing going on, in that she screams if I'm not around. However, since I'm always around (I'm literally a captive audience) this isn't an issue.

[Emma1979]

oh this thread has given me hope!
my little girl hollie (approaching 10 weeks) is adorable, but is quite a high maintenance baby, not a good sleeper during the day and leaving the house is very stressful, i put it down to boredom. she doesnt want to lay in her pram where she cant see much, or sit in her car seat where she can't see mum etc. i have invested in some toys which seem to make a difference as she has something to stare at and talk too.

MCHN thinks she is going to be a little extrovert. she is already desperate to sit up, and has been since about 7 weeks, she can even lift her head when u pull her up by her arms which apparently most dont do until 3 or even 4 and a half months. i am praying that once she is more mobile, she will be happier investigating things (and keeping me on my toes). im also thinking she will hopefully tire out more and maybe enjoy her naps more. fingers crossed.

at the moment i have decided not to go out (besides locally) unless i have someone with me, hollie is generally fine as long as i am carrying her, which doesn't allow me to do much when we are out so defeats the purpose!

i never knew it would be this challenging and am told that after 3 months things get easier.... is this true? i hope so.

[Shelley B]

Emma, My little boy has gotten a bit better since he has gotten older and been able to interact with me more. Now I can put him on his back on the floor and he is happy to lay there while I talk to him, I can even leave the room for a couple of mins without him getting upset. I worked out that I was keeping him awake too long between sleeps, he was born 4 weeks early so is really equivilent to a 2 month old rather than a 3 month old, poor little fella must have been so overtired. He can only stay happy and awake for 45mins to 1 hr.
Curtis was holding his head up very early as well and seemed happier sitting instead of laying but now things seem to have changed. A couple of weeks ago he hated being in his pram and hated being in the car seat but now it all seems ok, toys helped!. We took him shopping for the first time in ages yesterday and I was very nervous about it but he was quite good.I think once you learn what they want it gets easier to take them out, if you dont know why they are crying when you are out in public its horrible!!
Curtis is a cat napper during the day and even though he is tired he still protest about being put in his cot but at night he is an angel. I figured that he KNOWS how to put himself to sleep so I decided to let him grizzle for a few mins and it worked, he falls alseep and sometimes goes to sleep without a squeek.
Im sure it will get easier for you, once they are able to see further and be interested in things for longer they aren't quite so whingy. I have learnt to be ready for a change in routine at any moment, its hard because I am such an organised person. Sometimes I think I had him sorted then he goes and throws MY routine out the window. Remember your the boss!